HOCD — How to get aesthetic attraction back ?

[FSBHM]

Hi, you who lost your aesthetic attraction to the opposite sex because of HOCD, how did you get it back? Is it back like before your loss of attraction? It is the only thing that maintains HOCD. It is always in my mind. Please, help me.

[Paxiled]

You say you lost your attraction to the opposite sex because of your phobia over being gay, and it's lasted for two years.  Is that right?  In your therapy, have you done any work on your bias against gay people?  Most of us have it, it's been part of society for the last few centuries, and it's caused a lot of pain such as yours.  If you lose your fear of being gay because you believe being gay would be a horrible thing perhaps your apparently completely heterosexual self will emerge again with desire back.  Or you know, you could have talked yourself into a pretty bad depression, and depressed people often lose their sexual appetite (it's also a side effect for some on SSRIs).  What you've got is a gigantic mental block, not OCD really, and somehow you've got to find a way to puncture that block and find your whole self again.  

[FSBHM]

It wasn't a phobia, it was an obsession. If I was gay, I would probably have the same obsession but towards being straight.
I'm not afraid anymore of being gay/turning gay, I know I'm straight, the obsession vanished. But since, I lost my capacity to find girls beautiful, my aesthetic attraction.
I do not really have bias against gay people, I have some cousins who are gays, and it's cool for them. But I always loved girls, I always find them beautiful, I always fantasized about them. I do not have a souvenir of finding a guy handsome.
I'm under SSRIs because the loss of aesthetic attraction, but only since eight months, the loss of aesthetic attraction is from before.

[Paxiled]

That is odd, because SSRIs have a known side effect of lessening sexual desire and performance.  If you were put on them it was more likely to treat your anxiety problem.  Phobias are obsessions.  Without obsessive irrational fear you can't have a phobia.  If you weren't biased against gays, and that doesn't mean you're even aware of it, it's so built into our culture from the last several centuries of religious persecution, it wouldn't have bothered you any to think you were gay in the first place.  Would it bother you to think about vanilla ice cream if you had always preferred chocolate?  It was the gay part that bothered you.  That's an obsession, yes, but all mental illness is caused by obsessive thinking except psychoses.  You can't be phobic without obsessing over having a panic attack about doing something.  This is all semantics, and it only matters if you seek therapy, which is a good idea to do.  The therapy for actual OCD is very different from that to treat other types of obsessive thinking.  Otherwise, however anxiety manifests it is awful to have it.  I hope you do get past this.  Peace.

[specialmom]

You seem to be really over thinking.  Having fantasies or thoughts of sexual interest in someone of the same sex occasionally is normal.  No big deal.  Nothing to obsess over.  If you have no attraction for someone of the opposite sex, why force it?  Maybe you are bi or gay.  Wait it out doing nothing until it is more clear.  Get a hobby, dive into school or work, better YOURSELF.  And if you suffer anxiety, seek professional help be it counseling with a therapist or working with a psychiatrist.  And if you continue to be confused about what sex you want to be with and struggle with, talk it out with a therapist.  good luck

[FSBHM]

I'm not confused about what sex I want to be with. I do not have fantasies nor sexual interest in someone of the same sex. I have always been attracted to people of the opposite sex. That disappeared two years ago, almost overnight, because of OCD.
I've already consulted a psychiatrist and three psychologists, I've been on SSRIs for eight months, but nothing changes... It's all in the corner of my head all the time. I want so much for it to go back to the way it was before. I have no anxiety anymore since a year but the loss of attraction is, like I said before, always in a corner of my head. Not finding girls pretty anymore, even the ones I thought were beautiful is a torture for me.

[specialmom]

Keep working with your therapist.  Your anxiety doesn't sound under control and again, you sound to be overthinking. What else can you focus on in life? I've got sons.  They focus on grades, work, sports they do and are really busy.  Get busier with other things so you don't spiral in mind traps that go nowhere. And if you know your sexual orientation, wait until you begin to find whomever attractive and act at that time.  Until then, keep working on the anxiety and realize that it's okay not to be overly attracted to anyone.