You have your own doctors and we obviously don't know more than them regarding your diagnosis. We're just like you, regular people speaking strictly from our own experience. I am glad you are in therapy. I am glad you take medication. Intensify that, talk to the caregivers you have. If your current treatment is not working and your life is still so greatly impacted, then you need to have that addressed professionally with your caregivers to change what the care is. Medication these days usually starts with something that is either kept but increased in dose, changed to something else or a very common treatment option doctors currently use is to add an additional medication to it. please talk to your doctor. We have no answers for you. Treating the anxiety and ocd and phobia, is the main goal here and that has to be done with your doctor.
It's possible you have a little OCD with that repeated checking of the condom, but most of your problem isn't actually OCD at all, it's a phobia you've developed about having sex because you are so phobic about getting sick from having sex. One thing to do is just stop having sex at all until you are settled in with one partner, both of you get tested, and then you don't have to use a condom, you can use a different form of birth control. That won't, however, fix your phobia, but it will solve your problem. As to the therapy, what you want is a therapist who specializes in treating anxiety, and most of them don't do that. Most of them treat things like relationships or just like to sit and talk for ten years. The therapy most recommend for phobias these days is CBT, and those who do it only do it, the others don't do it very well. Basic law: if a therapist doesn't help you, no matter how much you like the therapist, find a different therapist. If medication doesn't work, find a different medication. But if this is your only anxiety problem, and you aren't anxious about anything else in you life, therapy can work if you work hard enough at it and you find the right therapist. In the meantime, OCD isn't known to be genetic or not, so don't label yourself as doomed to have it. If it runs in families it can also be learned, not genetic. Anxiety problems are very hard to fix, but phobias are really hard to get rid of but lots of people do. I hope you're one of them.