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I don't know what to term this

I have been suffering from OCD for the past 8 years. Initially when I used to get violent thoughts about my loved ones i used to cringe and feel helpless.
I have been regularly taking my medication for the last 6 years. I had been feeling better.
I got married around 2 years back and am 4 months pregnant now hence i have stopped taking any medication.
Somehow I have been getting violent thoughts of harming my sister-in-laws 3 year old girl child in the sense that
i imagine beating her mercilessly. I am completely aware that this wrong but the images do come to my mind.
This is not the first time that this has happned. When I was newly married I had similar thoughts when I had visited her place.
Last year I had been to my husbands friends place & he has a two year old girl child. I had similar thoughts of harming her as well.
I don't exactly understand whether this is OCD or somethig else. Because as far as i have read about OCD, people feel more protective
towards those whom they imagine they might end up hurting.I certainly feel guilty of these thoughts.Please help as i am totaly confused.    
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Avatar universal
You have a particular, very common form of Pure-Obsessional OCD regarding violent thoughts/images.

"Because as far as i have read about OCD, people feel more protective
towards those whom they imagine they might end up hurting.I certainly feel guilty of these thoughts.Please help as i am totaly confused."

It is just as likely for an OCDer to have thoughts about hurting loved ones as to feel an overwhelming need to protect them. Both are equally common.


You are off the medication, so your thoughts are returning. You do not seem to have a solid grounding in how to deal with the disorder cognitively.


"I guess you are right. I should first get through my pregnancy successfully and then restart my medication."

I would not rely entirely on medication to solve this problem.

What you SHOULD do is learn about techniques other than medication to deal with the disorder, so you don't have to rely on that, and are not at risk for a relapse when you're off the medication. The only purpose for medication in treatment of pure-O/OCD is to ASSIST in the therapy process, particularly for those who have difficulty using only therapeautic techniques. It is not a cure for the disorder or a permanent solution. Ideally you should be off the medication after you have changed your response pattern.

Have you seen a therapist or undergone Cognitive-Behavioral (or other) Therapy for OCD?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi LLFgirl,

Such thoughts were amost next to nil when I was on medication, though they would spring up occasionally with a low amount of intensity. I was able to handle that.
I guess you are right. I should first get through my pregnancy successfully and then restart my medication.

I deeply appreciate your opinion.

Take care.

Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Did you have these violent thoughts when you were taking your medicine? It could be a side effect of not taking medicine now because you are pregnant. You might just have to ride it out until the baby comes. Then if you start taking your meds again you would feel better. That is something I think about as well. It it good to not take your meds for depression if you are pregnant or not? I've never been pregnant but I wonder about it sometimes. Keep being positive and know that things will get better. I used to have bad thoughts towards people I love as well before I took meds and now that I'm on my meds I don't have those thoughts as much.
LLFGirl
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