Hi. I don't know if this is the right place to post this, but if it isn't, I'm sorry for that.
I have a few compulsions, which most I do without noticing. For example, I eat my hair. I first started when I was about 12 (I'm 19 now). It always happens without me noticing and when I do it it's so relieving and I can't stop. When I finally stop eating it, I get massive anxiety and guilt about eating it. Then I stop for a few minutes or an hour and then I start again without noticing. The circle just keeps going. Basically I have an anxiety and guilt about eating it so I start eating it again to relieve it for a moment, then when I stop it starts again.
Another thing I do is touching everything with my both hands and legs. When i accidentally touch something with my right hand, I have to touch it with my left hand too. Same with legs and fingers, if I touch something with my thumb I have a need to touch it with my other fingers too.
I also have a need to check things. I know in my mind that if I forget something it's not the end of the world, but I still need to check it. I don't have that much obsessive thoughts what would drive me to checking things, I just kind of do it without even noticing or even knowing why.
Only kind of obsessive thoughts I have are religious and right-and-wrong kind of thoughts. Like if I do something which is definitely ok with everybody but is maybe considered as wrong thing to do in the bible for example, I have a massive guilt about even thinking about doing something. I think God is judging me for even thinking about it and I have to pray and apologize Him. If I don't do it, I can't get out of the feeling that I did something wrong and unforgettable. I'm not even that religious person myself.
It's causing me anxiety for not knowing why I do my compulsions and how to stop. Stopping doing them is hard because I do them without noticing it myself until I'm in the middle of doing it. I haven't been able to tell my friends or family or anyone about this because I'm pretty embarrassed and I know they wouldn't understand.
I would like to know if this is some kind of OCD or some else kind of disorder and where could I seek for help. I'm sorry for my english if i have some typos. It's not my native language.