First, nobody can predict the future. Just can't. It does seem, however, that when it comes to sex you're prone to obsessive thinking and questioning. This can indicate an insecurity about it. It is possible you have some attraction to some young people. But it's what we do and who we choose to be with in our actions that really determine our sexuality. The mind will always have thoughts, it's what it does, and some of them will be nice and some of them will be troubling, but how troubling they are is up to how obsessive you get with them. You indicate you've never acted on these thoughts and don't act on them now, so it's not apparently something you act on. It's something you obsess over. I'm not a fan of the labeling of things like HOCD or POCD, because thoughts alone while are now considered a part of an OCD spectrum by many in the mental health field, I don't think they are OCD at all. Everyone with a mental problem has obsessive thinking, so if that's the definition of having OCD, well, most humans have it and that's just too much for me. Labeling oneself kind of defines oneself. But you have now had two bouts of obsessive thinking about sexuality, and the first one ended in you acting out on it. Historically, we have many examples of civilizations that had very different notions of what types of sex and who you had it with than we do now. Nowadays, we're much more focused on how this might affect the very young. I don't know what's going on with you, maybe you just have a very large scope for your sexual appetites, and that's in accord with historical human behavior, but we don't do that now and you will ruin your life if you go down that road, so when you say you can't see a therapist I'm guessing that's probably not true. That's what I would recommend. But in the meantime, again, we aren't what we think, we're what we do, but we can think ourselves into a miserable life. You do want to stop this trend you have before you get too old to do so. Peace.