Please give your doctor a call.
hi this is just another type of ocd, basically u were already stressed about ur other types of ocd,and having depression also thats why this negative thought came in ur mind, but due to ocd u just started to analyse it and doubt urself thats why it become like this, this is called suicidal ocd
learn cbt from pychologist or from self help book
like overcoming obssessive thoughts, this is the only solution,
You should contact your prescribing doctor today and discuss this with them.