So I have this fear that I think has sort've branched off of hocd?? It might be a little tmi. So I apologize in advance.
Because of hocd, I liked to check a lot. About 90% of that checking was googling things but some of it was checking porn or something of the like. And I did so recently and immediately I felt guilty. I've developed this fear that I am or will become addicted to porn or something. But if I was, I wouldn't be able to control it right? And I've only ever checked with watching it about 3, 4, or maaaybe 5 times (as well as just watching it ever in my life, also the days this happened weren't very close together at all, also, it was like 40 seconds long...if that means anything). It makes me feel kind of uncomfortable when I watch it and also I wind up feeling really guilty about it. Is that normal? Because I know that people who are actually addicted to it feel guilt when they watch it too. And being the OCD person I am I took that part of it and related it to myself when it more than likely isn't true. I try to calm myself down by telling myself that I'm a teenager and my hormones are crazy as well so sometimes reading fanfiction like I do (like I said, watching it makes me uncomfortable) isn't a big deal but then my mind goes "NO! YOURE ADDICTED!" but there are also times when I'm just really not wanting to have anything to do with sex whatsoever and that's probably proof enough on its own that I'm not. Also if I WERE addicted, I probably wouldn't have made this post in the first place right? Because usually addicts try to hide it? I know in general it's normal for people to watch/read stuff. I know my friends do (a couple of them admit to doing it often) and we're all about the same age. Is it something I should even worry about? Typing this all out helps me calm down a little actually. But as embarrassed as I may be about it all I still want to post this and I'd like someone to answer please. Preferably seriously. And I apologize if this question seems stupid...its just that it's made me so scared that I start feeling sick. I know real addicts are doing it like 24/7, and I could go without anything even slightly inappropriate for a week (or even more) easily.
Is this something that somebody with OCD could obsess about? That's a dumb question I know but sometimes I can't figure out which of my worries are OCD and which aren't...