possible needle exposure?

[Adamsky]

The other day I noticed a tear in the skin on my thumb, it was sore and clear fluid came out of it when I squeezed it, not really bleeding, it did bled slightly the next day when it dried and cracked. The trouble is that I can't remember doing it, so I worry that I may have touched a discarded syringe/hollow needle and not really noticed while moving some boxes from a warehouse. I did check the boxes and I didn't see anything sharp, no staples or anything. I wonder if it would be possible to have been injected by something discarded, like an insulin needle? How deep do injections need to go to infect?  what would be my risk factors for HIV infection from a thumb injury of this kind? 0.3% ? Would something like this warrant PEP?  I will test at 12 weeks but would like to be able to function in the meantime.. Thank you!

[meemoll]

I don't even test....just another ritual to give temporary relief until the next trigger.  

[Adamsky]

I totally agree! The OCD on a daily basis between these so called  "Window periods" are incredibly difficult and exhausting. I literally convince myself that these scenarios are totally possible and real and I wait an hope for months at a time to test to see if this time was the time I was right, until I find another trigger, which for the past 2 and a half years have been pretty much back to back! I am really working on getting rid of this...I'm really hoping to be on the right track this time! Good luck with yours :-)

[meemoll]

You sound like me.  You are not alone in these irrational thoughts -- and that is just what they are -- thoughts-- and nothing more.  I know how real the fear feels, especially in the moment.  I hope and pray that none of these horrible scenarios I fear will ever happen to me.  But even if they did happen in the most remotest unbelievable way that I can conjure in my mind, there is a way to live with it.  In the meantime, I feel like it is worse to live with the fear the OCD creates for me, sometimes on a daily basis.

[Adamsky]

Thank you :-)

[JGF25]

Continue with your therapy because you are still not at the point where you can say ENOUGH and move on.  You need more practice with CBT.  Good luck.  

[Adamsky]

Hi, Thank you for taking the time to speak with me! I really appreciate it! Yes I have OCD, especially when it comes to HIV. I lost my older brother to Aids when I was 15. And since then I have been deathly afraid of it. I am working with a therapist to try and help me see that Hiv treatment has come a very long way since 1990, and that given the worst case scenario it's something now people lucky enough to access meds live with. I am making slight progress. The approach she is using is to try to take the fear out of the disease so that maybe the OCD will subside a little. Thank you again!

[JGF25]

Hi there.  People with OCD can make up all kinds of scenarios in their heads.  Have you been diagnosed with OCD?  Why do you think that you got stuck with a needle rather than just cutting yourself on one of the boxes which would be the likely scenario?  

PEP is for people that have actually had a real risk scenario.  Having unprotected sex with an HIV positive person.  Sharing needles among drug users.  Sticking yourself with a needle in a healthcare setting.  PEP is not for everyday use.  PEP has its own drawbacks and should only be used by people in real risk situations.

https://www.aids.gov/hiv-aids-basics/prevention/reduce-your-risk/post-exposure-prophylaxis/

Please become educated about HIV and the way it is spread.  And please seek out the help of a psychologist because people that think anything that cuts their body may be a needle, needs counseling.  You don't even need to test yourself with this scenario.  Trust me...I have had HIV Anxiety before.