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Possible shoulder replacement, need advice please

Hi all,

In September of 2018 I had rotator cuff repair surgery. At the time the surgeon told my husband that I had extreme arthritis for someone my age (I was 41 at the time) and that he scraped some of it out (he has since told me that the amount of arthritis I have is what he would expect to find in a 60 year old).

It's been 11 months now and I have had very little relief from the pain. It seemed like I recovered from the surgery and the pain was getting better (although it never went away completely) but then it started to get progressively worse again. My doctor sent me for another mri two months ago to make sure I didn't retear my rotator cuff (I didn't). He's given me anti-inflammatories, steroid injections (which help somewhat, but don't last very long at all) and I've done physical therapy. Nothing seems to help.

He's very reluctantly agreed to do a complete shoulder replacement, not because I don't need it, but because of how young I am (I will be the youngest patient he has performed this surgery on at 42 and he previously told me he wanted me to wait until I am 50). There is nothing else he can suggest that will eliminate/alleviate the pain I am experiencing.

So I guess my question is two fold...

1 - could the scraping out the arthritis during the first surgery be responsible for the pain I am in now?  The timing seems very odd that I would start suffering from the arthritis immediately after rotator cuff surgery (unless I was in pain from the arthritis unknowingly while my rotator cuff was torn).

2 - I really do not want to continue to live with this pain, it's affecting so much of my life (what I can do with my kids, quality of sleep, etc) and I am in constant pain, but I am very worried about doing this at such a young age. I understand I will most likely have to have the surgery again in the future because I am so young, but I just don't see the point in living with this pain for another 8 years first.

Also, I'm not sure it's relevant, but just in case - I also have spinal stenosis (around c4 if I recall correctly). I only discovered this because i have been experiencing numbness in my hands since the rotator cuff repair. The timing on that also seems odd to me since I never experienced that prior to the surgery.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

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Oh man, that stinks!  I'm wondering if you had trauma there. That's about the only time I know of that a person your age is going to have this kind of arthritis level in the shoulder.  Since it is just on one side, that makes sense. I also am under that a trauma can sort of be considered a surgery.  Most surgeries will leave some scar tissue.  I would guess you already had arthritis pain along with the rotator cuff as you mentioned but that this also contributed to it now. You have been to a physical therapist?  And what about a second opinion?  I know that is likely time or money but wouldn't just like to hear what someone else has to say?  (someone who can examine you in person).  

Shoulder replacement is quite a surgery.  Recovery is not quick.  You can't drive for six weeks or pick up anything heavier than a glass of water for 4 weeks.  But you know, as a mom, I am not able to imagine being in chronic pain.  It must be terrible and debilitating to your life.  By the way, this is just ONE shoulder, correct?
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Here's a link to what to expect with the surgery. https://www.webmd.com/arthritis/shoulder-replacement-surgery-what-to-know#1
Yes, it is just my left shoulder. I have no idea about trauma. People keep asking how I hurt my shoulder and I have no idea. It just started hurting one day and kept getting worse.  My husband and I talked about getting a second opinion yesterday, but I'm not sure what that would do really. If my doctor was rushing me into surgery then I would feel more inclined to see what someone else has to say, but he is very reluctant and has made that clear.  Perhaps I'll look into it, but I'm not sure what another doctor will be able to tell me. Thanks for your feedback.
Sometimes a second opinion can just be peace of mind.  Since your doctor is on the fence it sounds like, it may make you feel better about your decision. but I agree, you can't stay like this.  You have life to make happen!  Arthritis like this is a chronic situation so other than getting the surgery over with and on with life, there is no hurry.  But I can see being in a hurry.  :>))  would you be doing a full or partial replacement?  
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