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Avatar universal

Caring for Mother

Dear Anyone,
Totally new to this forum. My mother has days to live having been diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer just last September (11 months) She had a full hysterectomy, 6 rounds of chemo, radiation for endometrial cancer all through Spring and all the time the Cancer was simply growing. She is currently in hospital with a Palliative team and we are hoping to bring her home next week. I have no idea how it ends or if there is anyone has had this awful experience of caring for someone with this dreadful disease. Is there any advise you could give? Was your mother / sister etc throwing up right at the end? When did the draining stop?
I hope this doesn't frighten anyone - I know my mother was extremely unlucky to have such an aggressive form - even her oncologist couldn't believe how quickly it returned.
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Avatar universal
Hi there my sister and I are also going through a similiar situation.  My mother was diagnosed Dec 2009 had 5 rounds of chemo and then Doctor stopped as nothing was changing infact her CA 125 was increasing.  They said there is nothing more they can do for her.  She is at home with us getting weaker, hardly eats and sleeps most of the time.  She is under hospice and they have helped us with her pain control.  It is so sad to see her suffer like this.  In May Doctor told us that she only has 2 - 3 months to live.  We don't know what to expect at the end.
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Avatar universal
Molly,
I too am dealing with a similar situation... my mother was out mowing the lawn and taking care of everything around the house when she was diagnosed with cervical cancer in late July 2010; however the doc said her cervical cancer was was acting more like ovarian cancer.  When I read the posts about ovarian cancer vs. uterine cancer, she seems to fit perfectly in the cervical cancer category... i.e. swelling with fluid, cysts all over her abdominal area.  The doc never gave her a stage, but based on what I've read, it is stage IV or M1 - meaning it has spread to other organs.  Anyway she is deteriorating very quickly... it appears her liver is now pressing against her lungs which is causing difficulty breathing and she has lost control of her bladder.  Unlike your mother, mine opted out for chemo as the doc said it was inoperable and her only option.  She has survived breast cancer and leukemia and is choosing to go somewhere other than here.  My whole family supports her decision as she has been through so much in the past several years.  The times I spend with my mother today, as I have decided to be by her side till the end, have been the most rewarding of anything I have ever experienced.  She is happy now - for the first time in her life knowing she will be going to a place of peace and love.  I wish you to find the same thing... you will find peace in yourself.
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187666 tn?1331173345
I'm sorry you're facing this difficult time. I haven't had a female relative die from this but like Marcy, my Dad passed away 2 years ago (on the 22nd) from cancer that had spread through his whole body. The hospice folks were great about managing his pain. Mostly he just got weaker, his voice became softer and he couldn't move around. Still, we had many wonderful days and hours with him just watching his favorite TV shows, holding his hand. A little thing that he always wanted was his glass of orange juice. I think it gave him a sense of control, to hold that cup (with a lid on it) and be able to take a sip when he wanted. He was so dependent on us for everything else. He liked that tiny bit of independence.

It was hard for me to see him fade away and yet I think those were some of the closest moments we've ever shared. The trust he had in me to care for him, to be there for him meant more than any presents, fancy dinners or trips we shared. One good thing? So many memories that seemed to be buried in time came back to me after he was gone. I'm so glad they weren't really lost at all. I love to think about him and I do miss him.
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408448 tn?1286883821
I lost my mom when she was 51.  I can only say I know much of what you are feeling.  I am sorry.  Marie
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Avatar universal
While I don't have experience with what happens at the end of this particular disease, I can share with you my experience of being with my father when he died of brain cancer.  I spent 3 weeks at his bedside and they were very tough but also very precious.  There was discomfort and agitation, but not a lot of pain.  The most surprising part was how often we laughed and openly reminisced.  I had such a heavy heart during that period of time, but I realize now that many of my most treasured memories happened then.  Several years later my mother died suddenly in a terrible accident, and I realized more than ever how much of a gift it was to have had those last few weeks with my dad. I hope you and your family are able to find some value in this difficult experience as well.  
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136849 tn?1327321510
I am so sorry this is happening.  There are alot of amazing women on this site, that can provide you some guidance.  I can only imagine how this feels.  Just make sure any wishes your mom may have are granted, make her as comfortable and pain free as possible and just be there for her and let her know that she is loved.  My heart breaks for you.  It is devastating to hear once again that this horrible disease is yet again lurking and getting ready to take yet another wonderful soul.  We will keep you and your mother in our prayers.  God Bless.  Jane
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