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Jan


Hi All,
I started this this AM and have updated it.  I decided to just leave it the way I wrote it originally and you'll see the edit.
****
Whew boy...I don't really post too much anymore and it is killing me to come here now to post this.  I don't have a lot of information but will be speaking to Lisa later today.  Lisa told me that Hospice is setting Jan up today.  I am very scared and part of me wants to run and not find out the truth but that won't happen.  What I wanted to do today is ask that those of you who know Jan, will you please post some thoughts so that Lisa can give them to Jan?  I want her to know just how deeply she is loved and missed on this forum.  Thank you.  I will start.
**edit**  Lisa said that Hospice has set up a bed downstairs for Jan.  At this time, they are trying to get her pain regulated.  It sounds like she's either over medicated and sleeping or awake and in pain.  I really hope they can get that to a point where she can be as comfortable as can be without sleeping all the time.  It sounds as if she has a blockage of some sort.

All who know Jan knows that she is a fighter.  I know she is fighting her hardest right now and will continue to do so.  I want her to fight with all her might but I also want her to realize that it's OK if she just cannot fight any longer.  I pray that the Lord holds Jan and her family closely to him.  I pray that Jan feels the love and comfort of her Father.  Lord, I ask you to cast out fear if there is any and replace it with peace.  This is my prayer for Jan, her family and all of us.  I know that I am afraid, mad, sad.  I don't want to lose my friend but I also don't want her to be in pain any longer.  I'd better stop now but I could go on and on...**end edit**

My Dear Buddy, Jan,
I can hardly choke this out.  I feel that all through our friendship I have tried to think about anything but today.  I've wanted to give you a normal friendship, knowing that we met on an ovarian cancer site but still...   I came on here with questions, like anyone else.  I felt a little guilty for blabbering my stuff when there were women on here dealing with their cancer when I was in limbo-land.  You drew me out, got me talking and our friendship formed.

In the short time we've known each other there have been some kind of wild and strange things happen on this forum.  Some have hurt me as I am sure you have been affected by the fakes but the difference between us is that you see people in such a unique way.  Maybe that's the lawyer in you?  You have been able to come back here and give the benefit of the doubt until proven otherwise.  You see people for who they are and you certainly call em like you see em.  I LOVE that about you.  That quality is so child-like and pure and if we all took the time to really listen to our gut like you do it would sure as h*ll cut out a lot of the bull.  If I do answer a post I usually ask myself...what would Jan say to this person?  Then I temper it down a little...LOL  ; )   No, really though, you have a way of telling the truth even if it may not be what someone wants to hear.  It may not be what they want to hear but it may be what they need to hear.

I know for a fact that you have helped many women here.  The forum hasn't been the same since you've been gone.  So many of the "old timers" aren't around much.  We've lost too many to death and some have gone off to other forums.  I'm so very thankful that we have kept in touch and I'm mostly thankful that we got to meet last year.  To put your beautiful face and tiny body together with your ferocious, huge, loving, giving and honest heart was something I will treasure forever.  I remember I kept asking you if you were OK.  Finally you said, "Lori, you haven't been around a lot of cancer patients, have you?"  LOL  The answer was NO and I guess it showed.  LOL  Not sure why that makes me chuckle but it does.

You are one person who sees beauty around you.  You nurture.  You care.  You live and love.  And, I love you.
L
118 Responses
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128158 tn?1209613918
Peace and blessings . Sorry I did not know Jan but all these lovely posts of her has moved me so. I am another Jan who wishes to express my feelings here if I may offer a small rememberance as well. I have a healing rose garden here and there are well over about 80 or so rose bushes. I have planted a few of them and named them after a few sisters who have left us for now. I hope it will be okay if I name one Jan in her memory. Thank you.     Jan (in So. Calif.)
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I am so saddened by jans passing. I never got a chance to know her, but I'm hoping that we can all gather strength from her. This is not much, but I was feeling good enough today to plant a little garden. Would anyone mind If I  planted it for Jan. A small rememberance of what sounds like a very special lady.
Helpful - 0
187666 tn?1331173345
I do like the idea that Jan is still on a journey but to an exotic place filled with flowers, beauty and kindness.

Posting any place right now is difficult because I feel some anger about what she went through. I read some posts elsewhere and think, "Are you kidding? Do you know what other people are going through right now!?"  So I say nothing of course. I know I'm guilty of complaining and grumbling about the petty things in my own life at times. There's no room for me to criticize.

Wondering how the service went yesterday and how the family is doing. I hope they got plenty of hugs.
Helpful - 0
106886 tn?1281291572
My heart is still breaking. Missing you already, Jan. I somehow feel your presence on the forum...and in my heart. Thank God you are not in pain anymore.

Reading Ireneo's journal tribute (For Jan's Family) helped. Thank you for posting the poem, Irene. It was beautiful and comforting.

Love, Mary
Helpful - 0
451053 tn?1237577749
Lisa I have checked my computer minute by minute and praying moment by moment for Jan, you and her lovely family.  I am so sorry to hear about the saddness you are feeling.  My heart hurts for the feelings of "missing her' that you must all feel.  I pray that this saddness and lonliness will be filled with the comforting peace and promise you will be together again. God's love be upon you!!!!!!

Alisa
Helpful - 0
349465 tn?1289081764
I am planning on attending.
(Gail, would you like to meet before the service and sit together?)
Teresa
Helpful - 0
643704 tn?1304684432
Hi all,

The funeral for Jan is Saturday.  Because she is being cremated there is no viewing.

The visitation with friends and family starts at 12:00p.m.  and the service is at 2:00 p.m.

Donelson Church of Christ
2706 Old Lebanon Road
Nashville, TN  37214-2582
615-883-6699

Gail it will be so nice to meet  you.

Love Lisa
Helpful - 0
295767 tn?1240188314
Goodbye sweet, beautiful Jan. You will always remain in my thoughts and heart. I know you will be at my wedding Jan, I know I will FEEL you there. I love you.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
God bless you Jan.  I don't post often anymore but I still check in to see how everyone is doing, and although you didn't know me, I said a prayer for you every night.  You were a wonderful person, and helped out a lot of women on the board.  You will be missed!
Helpful - 0
447161 tn?1262923084
I am overwhelmed with sadness for a woman whom I have never met, yet who had such a profound effect on me.  
Goodbye Jan, now you have perfect peace, and thank you for your guidance, your wisdom, your humour, your compassion and your strength.  And thanks for being so straight and honest with everyone.  You will be missed every day.

To Corey, Lisa, Kelley, Katie and all Jan's family and friends, my deepest sympathy.  How wonderful to have such love surrounding Jan.

Arohanui...peace and love..Kim
Helpful - 0
225036 tn?1294509400
I am so very heartbroken to read this.  We all knew that it was coming, but dang it, I am not ready to let Jan go.  I am so thankful that she is out of pain and no longer suffering, but I am selfish, and I MISS HER ALREADY!!!!!  I hate this damn disease!!!  

Thank you God, that you have Jan in Your loving arms and are showing her her own special garden in Your kingdom.  Lord, please give Cory, Lisa, Kelley, Katie, family, and friends the comfort and peace that only You can do.  Give us all strength to get through this.  We know Lord, that you have a purpose for all that you do, and we thank You that our dear friend Jan is no longer suffering, but in Your presence, walking on streets of gold.  We love her so much Lord, but we know that nothing compares to the love that You have for her.  Please tell her we love her and miss her lord.  Thank you for giving us the chance to get to know such a wonderful woman.  In Jesus' name,  Amen

Lisa and Cory, please accept my deepest sympathies, and know that we are here for you anytime you need us.  Please know how much we loved Jan.  Kasie
Helpful - 0
167426 tn?1254086235
Tis very  hard for me to write this,  good bye dear Jan, for just a little while,  your work here on earth is done and to a better place you have gone.   We enfold all those you leave behind  in love, and  will try to help ease the lonliness they feel with your passing.

Marty
Helpful - 0
415684 tn?1257329318
The glue that held this forum together has left us for a better place.  We won't be the same without her.  My heartfelt sympathy to all of you who knew Jan personally.  I echo the words written by Kiddthekatt .. so beautiful.

Judy
Helpful - 0
454026 tn?1236881142

My deepest sympathies go out to all of you.I will be praying for your family. Jan will be missed by all, she was a warrior and fought till the end. We will continue to fight this battle.
Love Terry
Helpful - 0
272338 tn?1252280404
Lisa,
  I don't want to say I am sorry because that just doesn't sound right. I am heart broken, as I know that alll of you are too. Even though we have known that it could be any day now, it does not make it any easier. I am comforted by the fact that Jan is now in such a better place, free of this damn disease and all that goes with it. Even more by the fact that I now know she is watching over us all.
  Please send my love and deepest sympathy to Cory, her daughters, and the rest of her family.
  Goodby my forever friend, until we meet again. May you finally rest in peace.
      Love Chris
Helpful - 0
146692 tn?1314331773
May God hold her in the palm of his hand, and bring peace to all of those left behind.
love
butterflytc
Helpful - 0
356929 tn?1246389756
Lisa,
    There are simply no words that I can add. I'm just so very sorry, and yes, she was much too young ! But, I'm glad the suffering is past . Jan is leaving a very large empty spot on the forum and in our hearts. Take care and thank you again for letting us be a part of your family.

Love,
Sandy
Helpful - 0
606078 tn?1247264553
Lisa and all;
   I didn't know Jan, but I've been reading this post to keep up with what was happening. My prayers go out to you all. I lost my beloved Mom to OVCN and someone sent me this poem. It just seemed to fit. I have no idea who wrote it.

gentle hugs to you all
Angel

  
If tomorrow starts without me,
And I'm not there to see;
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
All filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn't cry
The way you did today,
While thinking of the many things,
We didn't get to say.

  
I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you,
And each time you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too;
But when tomorrow starts without me,
Please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name,
And took me by the hand,
And said my place was ready,
In heaven far above,
And that I'd have to leave behind
All those I dearly love.

  
But as I turned to walk away,
A tear fell from my eye,
For all my life, I'd always thought,
I didn't want to die.
I had so much to live for,
So much yet to do,
It seemed almost impossible,
That I was leaving you.

  
I thought of all the yesterdays,
The good ones and the bad,
I thought of all the love we shared,
And all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday,
Just even for a while,
I'd say good-bye and kiss you
And maybe see you smile.

  
But then I fully realized,
That this could never be,
For emptiness and memories,
Would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly things,
I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you and when I did,
My heart was filled with sorrow.
But when I walked through heaven's gates,
I felt so much at home.

  
When GOD looked down and smiled at me,
From His great golden throne,
He said "This is eternity,
And all I've promised you."
Today for life on earth is past,
But here it starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow,
But today will always last,
And since each day's the same way
There is no longing for the past.

  
But you have been so faithful,
So trusting and so true.
Though there were times you did some things,
You knew you shouldn't do.
But you have been forgiven,
And now at last you are free.
So won't you take my hand.
And share my life with me?

  
So when tomorrow starts without me,
Don't think we are far apart,
For every time you think of me,
I'm right here, in your heart.
Helpful - 0
483733 tn?1326798446
Goodbye my sweet Jan.  I am so glad you are relieved from such suffering and pain.  My heart is breaking knowing we won't have you in our world.

Lisa, please give my condolences to Cory and the girls.  And sweetie, do know that Jan was so happy to have you with her in her last days.  Try and rest and take care of you.

Love, Trudie
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Today is the day I've dreaded for a very long time.  It is comforting to know that Jan is now pain free and sitting in her Father's loving arms.  On the other side...I'm heartbroken.

Hugs to you and the family, Lisa.
Love, L
Helpful - 0
178783 tn?1197300099
Good bye sweet Jan...God speed brave warrior!!  My deepest condolences to Cory, Lisa and the rest of the family for your loss.

God Bless,
Bob & Ashley
Helpful - 0
354706 tn?1279470795
My condolences. I would be thinking and praying for your family.

PinkTissue
Helpful - 0
438514 tn?1305734140
I am so very sorry.  I will continue to keep all of you in my thoughts and prayers.  

God Bless,

Karen
Helpful - 0
378425 tn?1305628294
I am so sorry, my deepest sympathies go out to all of you. You are all in my thoughts and prayers.  And remember what Becky said we will be here for all of you.

Love,
Dawnlyn
Helpful - 0
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