What is being a Survivor to you?

[onthemendmomma]

I just happened onto this website that is voices of survivors and it had videos and written bios of men and women who experienced cancer. They briefly introduced themselves. Their age and what they considered survivorship to be. I am looking for as much inspiration for myself (and to spread as much as I can) so I'll start off.

My name is Christina. I was diagnosed with stage 3 OVCA one week after my 39th birthday. Before cancer I thought I had endured many extraordinary learning experiences that although painful, I made sense of as learning experiences. Almost a year after diagnosis, I still struggle to understand the neccessity of this learning experience known as cancer. Survivorship to me means that even though I have fear, and hate the unbearable uncertainty of this disease, I will continue to fight for my life and hold on to as much of my core personality as I can, even though the exterior of my body may not be cooperating. Survivorship means while I breath I have to aspire to inspire....and I will do that on whatever small scale I can for as long as I can each day.

[onthemendmomma]

Being a survivor means living for those that have gone on before us and living for those who are suffering from Cancer now.  It means giving our support to those who are not doing as well as we are.  It means helping educate each other and sharing our experiences. We are all in this together. “We are survivors.”  “I am a Survivor.”


......from a guy w/ colon cancer who lost his daughter from a simple toncillectimy...When he was told he couldn't sue in his state (TX)...he went to law school while still doing chemo.

[SwOC5]

For me Its not about surviving Its about LIVING; every smile, every sunny day and even the rainy ones (we get plenty of them here)!
I am lucky to live in a small town on the coast with nature all around me, and each day when I am out and about I look around drink the simple wonder of it in, the ebb and flow of the tide, the clouds scudding overhead, are never the same.
Today on my walk I stopped off at the millpond to watch the swans, cygnets and the ducks enjoying the breadcrumbs the young children on school holidays bring them.
And I think thank you for the beauty of today and I send a mind photo to my friends whose footsteps often crossed the beach with me before their cancer took them away.

[Ramsay14]

I don't feel like a survivor either.  When I don't have cancer anymore, then I'll feel like a survivor.  After all I've been through in my childhood I was finally starting to make my life...a life.  My life began when my daughter was born.  I was diagnosed with OvCa when she was 12.  So I got 12 really great years.  12 out of 45.  Now with my diagnosis, I have lost so much joy.  Like hopeshell said, I'm only a shell of who I was...who I became in those 12 years.  So being a survivor to me is... well...the rawest deal ever!  

[kismetfarm]

It's almost nine years since I surfaced for the second time from the surgery which was supposed to be for a simple ovarian cyst.  My surgeon was sitting beside my bed holding my hand.  He was repeating "don't you ever give up, you need to keep fighting, I know you can beat this as long as you don't give up" (yes as surgeons go he was pretty special!)

It's my mantra now - through oncologists who tell me I'm terminal, other surgeons who tell me there is no point in further surgery, social workers who turn up to push my buttons and make me 'face up to my loss of health'  

I'm okay - I work 40 hours a week, ride my horse, go out to dinner with my husband, I've got plans for next year and the year after.   I'm not completely well but I'm a long way off dead.  I'm not wasting any of my life though.

[hopeshell]

Hi, I am 39 now but was 37 (for only a week) when I was dx with ovarian cancer.  I have found it to be the most challenging time of my life.  I have two young children and desire to be here to raise them.  However, over the past two years, I have realized the changes and complications of my surgery have left me only a shell of who I was.  I am in it to the end.  I am not sure that those around me have the patience to endure the neverending issues that I must face.   However, I know I am doing my best, I did not ask for this plight in life, and I pray God will give me the strength to make it through...if not only for mylelf,... but for my babies.  I really find it hard to find a postive thing from my dx.  I know I was lucky to be dx early but my life is hell. You women inspire me and I have come to realize that life is just not fair.  No one deserves to have to deal with all of this!

[helenl89]

we are strong  we are women. somehow  we will survive cause we are not going down without a fight. We have learned to survive pain, agozing depression, let alone countless chemos and so on. Every day that we get up on try to go on, makes us surviors.              when god closes one door he opens a window somewhere. some of us just haven't found it yet. but we keep trying, and thats what makes us us

[marie3B]

I consider us survivors.  Even though we may not have won the war, we have won many battles.  We have survived being cut open and poisoned repeatedly and lived to tell about it!  Right?  The weak couldn't do it.  And Chris, even just hearing the word "survivor", I picture you!  Love ya all, Marie

[MinnieWM]

I agree with you Chris.  It is hard to think of yourself as being a survivor when you still feel in the grips of this disease.  Year ago, I heard an interview with Marvella Bayh who was battling a breast cancer recurrence that eventually took her life.  She told the interviewer, "I'm living with the knowledge that I have cancer, and my life is pretty normal."  

I'm still relatively new to this, but I guess that's what I hope to achieve -- to have a normal life despite knowing that I have cancer.

[onthemendmomma]

COPIED W/O PERMISSION:

Crazy Sexy Cancer author Chris Carr:
Hi cool person!

I'm Kris, author of the book "Crazy Sexy Cancer Tips" and "Crazy Sexy Cancer Survivor", director of the film "Crazy Sexy Cancer", (TLC, Discovery Health) and founder of this site.

I'm a 36 year old survivor babe-a-lish. Important clarification: I call myself a survivor even though I still LIVE with canSer. Oh no she didn't?! Yeah, so I've got some tumors (AKA beauty marks OR smurfs). Big frickin' whoop. I don't let it stop me, I let it inspire me. We all got somethin'. Right? Crappy diagnosis, major life lemon and general Sh@t happens to good folks every damn second. What WE do is our rebelliously liberating response.

Get wild! My choice was to make a total lifestyle upgrade inside and out, to get back to nature, the garden, the people (and animals) who mean the most to me and the planet. Once I did (especially with my raw food diet and tons of juicing) I started to feel really great - better than ever. My clarity, sense of empowerment and spiritual electricity exploded. In fact, it's just a matter of time before canSer dissolves away, reintegrated back into my healthy body.

My diagnosis created a personal revolution - join it.
Make Juice Not War baby!
xoxo,
Kris

[crecco]

I have mixed feelings about being a survivor also. I am almost at my 4 year mark but do not feel as though I am a survivor as I am still fighting it every day. But nor do I feel like a statistic because I have beat the odds in more ways than one. So maybe you could call me a survivor of sorts as for some reason or another, I am still here when in all actuality, I should not be. What ever that reason is, I have not been able to figure out, but am thankful for it.
  I have always tried to remain positive, not that my cancer will be cured as I know that is not possible , but that it will be able to be controled, and for a long time. That is why giving up is not an option for me. I heard a saying a long time ago that stuck with me, "I have cancer, cancer does not have me" and I think that explains the fight.
   But I just have a problem with the word suvivor because to me that means you have beaten it and survived. But when it will not go away, what do you call that? I guess when thinking about it though, even though the cancer will not go away, I am still here so I am in the process of surviving it, like trying to survive it.
  The thoughts are kind of hard to put into words, but reagardless of what words are needed, I am still here for what ever the reasons may be and I intend to continue my fight to remain here as long as I possibly can.
   No matter how you look at it, we are all survivors, but we are also warriors, fighters, statistics, and determined because we are trying to live our lives to the fullest that we can while this beast rages inside of us, and we seem to be doing a pretty good job of it.
           Chris

[Tybear]

I'm a survivor because I'm still here - that's it!
I've learned a lot from this disease and met some wonderful women so in that respect, I guess I can see some positives in it all. It's hard to keep your head above water much of the time but I refuse to stop trying even though I have days when I want to...I guess that also makes me a survivor :)
People always say things happen for a reason...I'm still trying to figure out the reason for this.
Great thread Christina... :)
Becky

[bohan54]

I guess I don't feel like a survivor because I still have the bloody disease.  If it were past tense, then I would feel like I survived it.  Now I just feel like a patient, waiting for the next roll of the dice.

[junamgen]

well said maire.  So happy to see you active in the forum again. I'm the person like action more than words.

It has been almost 3yrs since that day and 1 year after chemo, still feel different, but  exercise daily has improved my strenth, reduced my pain and forget my cancer for a while.

Peace and Love

jun

[marie3B]

I look at it like this:  Even if I am unable to beat this disease completely, at least I am going to beat the statistics.  I am a survivor because I woke up alive from 2 major, messy surgeries and 3 small ones.  I am a survivor because the odds gave me 5 to 15 months to live at diagnosis and I am alive 26 months later and I refuse to go anytime soon.  I am a survivor because I can still go fishing with my grandson.  I survived to see 2 more grandbabies born. I am a survivor because a few months after my diagnosis I placed a bet on myself by applying for those life insurance no questions policies.  I would need to live til at least September of this year to have them pay.  Looks like I am going to win that one for sure!  Survivorship to me means being of help to my family for as long as possible and making sure they know I love them so much.  Marie

[Burnzie]

That was beautifully put!!!!  I love your last line!! Thank you for starting this thread.
Like you and everyone else, I hate the losses I've had because of this disease.  There have been many losses over the last three years; loss of health, employment, friends, stamina.....etc.  I have struggled with the reason for this "learning experience" as well.  I have come to terms with the fact that I can't figure out why I got this disease and that there are just alot of things we can't explain in this life.  
Survivorship to me means spending time with the people I care about the most, treasuring those relationships and not letting the disease destroy my spirit.
Karen