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refusing chemo

My mom was diagnosed with stage 4 primary peritoneal cancer and was optimally debulked surgically.  She decided, after the surgery, that she didn't want to do the IP/IV chemo that the surgeon recommended or any other kind of chemo.  For her, the extra time was not worth the pain and nausea she would suffer.  She has signed up for hospice care -- they promised she would suffer no pain -- and is happy with her decision.

I am trying to respect her decision, but I am worried that she will suffer more than she knows.  She had a bowel obstruction before surgery, which seems to have resolved, but I'm afraid it will recur and she will have a lot of pain.  She will no longer consult with her surgeon (gynoc), and is depending on her GP to run the end-of-life pain management.  I need guidance:  is this likely to be okay for her?  I just don't want her to suffer, especially as she thinks she has traded of any extra time for not suffering now.  
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242604 tn?1328121225
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Dear Bridget,
This must be very tough for you. I do agree with Terrin.  However, your mother has made her decision and I agree that you have to sort out how to respect that decision and at the same time come to some peace in yourself.

Ultimately, all we have is our free will to choose for ourselves.  It is hard when we disagree with other people's choices.

My wonderful patients have taught me alot about this. Ultimately, if I feel that someone is well informed and understands the choices, then it is their decision. I have also learned that people are very wise. They may intuitively know something about themselves that I cannot understand from xrays and lab reports.

best wishes
Helpful - 0
120574 tn?1240767840
Hi,  I was stage 3c,  had chemo and still here two years later, living a normal life.   Many people I have met with stage 4 are still here after chemo and continue to do well.   You may want to research the idea again,  also look to some support groups,  such as Gilda's for this.  You may be surprised.  Best Wishes.....
Helpful - 0

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