still here but it's been tough

[jane65]

Hi Ladies,
I thought I'd post, rather than answering each message or post, thanks to everyone who wrote me.

I've had a very rough couple of months, I had radiation to the pubic/pelvic crotch areas the Doxil didn't kill off because it's been external tumors and induration untouched my Dr. says because it's outside my body.

The radiation was very painful and the oxycontin in the AM and PM are very necessary. My oncologist said it will take a long time until we're sure if it worked, but I can see that the induration is gone. Lots of small tumors, or it could be the burning from the radiation which is still healing. Third degree burns he compares it to.

A couple of weeks ago, I fainted from low blood pressure, we're not sure if it is a combo of the oxycontin and the lymphedema which isn't allowing the fluid and blood to circulate properly around my body. I cut my eyebrow when I went down, and broke the phone I was holding. Couldn't get up and had to scoot on my butt to get to another phone, bleeding all the way.
My husband rushed home from work, called for an ambulance and luckily butterfly strips closed up the cut. I also banged my ribs but nothing broke. So more new pain to deal with now.

I'm so sick of all this, it's just one thing after another and my husband and I decided no more chemo, it's just prolonging the inevitable and isn't going to improve my quality of life.
No more radiation either, I never realized that a third degree burn is so painful and that's what they likened it to.

We discussed it with my oncologist and he'll work with me as time goes on, he doesn't disagree with us and the paperwork is in place.

I wish all of you a very Happy and Healthy New Yew Year.
Jane

[dian07]

Jane....a day doesn't pass where you are not in my thoughts and on my mind.  You are carried in the hearts of so many.
Peace.
dian

[OCFB]

Thinking of you, Jane.
Linda

[lvfrogs]

Jane,
What a tough decision you have made. I am glad you have your husband there to help you decide and to hold your hand while you made it. I hate reading this but I think I understand and I only wish that 2011 would bring you a miracle, that's my greatest wish for you. I can wish you peace and calmness also and I will do that. You both are in my daily prayers and I do hope we hear from you soon. I miss you.

[henning]

I have been thinking about you so much and hoping you were alright....

You are always in my thoughts and prayers
Penny

[Jane39]

I don't know what to say Jane, I am so terribly sorry that you are going through this.  I know this type of decision is so hard to make, but I can't imagine  what your body has been thru.  You and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers, and like Gail says, I believe (hope) that 2011 brings us all some hope, peace, courage, and a whatever Miracles there may be.  Jane, we are here for you.

God Bless

Jane

[gah_70]

It's good to hear from you, although I'm sorry you've been through such a rough time.  I also understand why you've chosen no more chemo or radiation. Its a tough decision to make and I know you didn't make it lightly.  My thoughts and prayers are with you. I do hope the new year brings a brighter outlook for you. But whatever may come, we're rooting for you.  

Gail

[shewrites]

You sound discouraged, and I'm so sorry that your disease isn't progressing more positively.  I'll add you to my prayer list and hope that the doctors can help you to be more comfortable.  Please keep us updated, if only in a sentence or two typed by your husband.  

[ireneo]

I'm so glad I decided to drop by just now. It's good to hear from you but the news isn't the best. They must have hit you pretty hard with the radiation. 3d degree burns are a big risk in themselves.

For now you need a break from all this slicing and dicing and baking. You're not a pizza, you're a human being with feelings. Does the paperwork lock you into the final phase or can you change your mind in the next couple of months?

Hope they get the BP under control. That would help a bit knowing you aren't going to drop any moment.

Thank you for stopping by and filling us in. I'm wishing/praying you have a good New Year's eve and day. Rest up.