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Pre-op Anxieties

Alrighty, so I met with the anesthesiologist today and am going to have my golf-ball size mass removed a week from today. I am told it will be a 4-incision laparoscopy. I've been putting it off and making excuses for almost a year now--frankly, because I am scared. The doctors think I have a dermatoid or endometriosis--obviously, we won't know until the surgery and pathology.

I realized I had a problem last August when period pains sent me to the ER in the middle of the night. I thought I was having an ectopic pregnancy or kidney stones--the pain was so bad. I was actually ridiculed and sent home with a script for ibuprofen. I had had all kinds of period issues, from spotting to severe cramps,  in the past (hmmm, endo?), so I figured I would change my birth control to depo provera. It's been great in the sense that it eventually eliminated my periods, so no monthly pain associated with the mass. I know it is a bandaid fix, since it depo isn't recommended for the long run (I take 1200mg of calcium daily).

I've been monitoring the thing since it was finally found via trans-vaginal ultrasound last October. It has grown, but early--by a millimeter or two. It's form seems to change a bit, but it is always classified as complex.  My CA 125 wavers, between about 26 and 42. Most likely, it is benign.

Anyway, even though the mass doesnt bother me physically, it does weigh on my in the psychological sense and has me living in the land of what-ifs. Still, I am absolutely petrified of surgery and recovery. I am an extremely active person who can hardly sit still for more than ten minutes at a time. In the past, I struggled with eating disorders and body image. Those things are no longer a problem, but they are still things I think about and certainly affect my view on the recovery period. I am at a healthy body weight, quit smoking two years ago, go to the gym most days of the week, practice yoga and pole dancing, and am a vegetarian. I imagine all of those things are good and will contribute to a speedy recovery, but I can't help but dwell on the fears and anxieties.

I paid in full for the surgery today (I am outside of the States), so there is no turning back. I would just like to know if anyone has any advice or recommendations that can help to ease my mind as I await surgery over the next week. Any tips or thoughts are greatly appreciated.

Thanks so much!
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Avatar universal
Hi there.

Was reading your post - and I feel for you.  I had an ovary removed 20 years  ago.  It was good to know it was gone and out of me.  And it was all benign... But now am faced with a complex cyst on the other ovary.  Rather depressing, to say the least... it seems like a total ripoff that I will have to probably lose the there one now.  Mine has one septation and a mural nodule.  Online reading is scary and depressing.  
I am sorry for your pain.  As Old Before My Time has mentioned, it's a big thing... it can have many consequences.  Surgery is a big thing - don't let anyone scare you into doing this unless you want to.  It's up to you... and believe me, I know what it's like to wonder just what it is that's going on inside of us... until it's removed and sent to pathology.  
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Avatar universal
COMMUNITY LEADER
I don't blame you for putting it off. Surgery is scary. And since most cysts resolve on their own, it made sense to watch and wait versus jumping to surgery. It's good the cyst hasn't grown much and is still small. I would think that should make surgery a little easier.  

I don't have much to offer except that you don't want to lose your ovary so you'll want a surgeon who has good cystectomy (cyst removal) skills so that your ovary can be saved. We need our ovaries our whole lives for the health promoting hormones they produce. Removal of even one ovary (or any part of the "reproductive" system) can disrupt this whole process (as well as impair fertility).

I hope surgery goes well! Write back and let us know how you are doing.
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