Alrighty, so I met with the anesthesiologist today and am going to have my golf-ball size mass removed a week from today. I am told it will be a 4-incision laparoscopy. I've been putting it off and making excuses for almost a year now--frankly, because I am scared. The doctors think I have a dermatoid or endometriosis--obviously, we won't know until the surgery and pathology.
I realized I had a problem last August when period pains sent me to the ER in the middle of the night. I thought I was having an ectopic pregnancy or kidney stones--the pain was so bad. I was actually ridiculed and sent home with a script for ibuprofen. I had had all kinds of period issues, from spotting to severe cramps, in the past (hmmm, endo?), so I figured I would change my birth control to depo provera. It's been great in the sense that it eventually eliminated my periods, so no monthly pain associated with the mass. I know it is a bandaid fix, since it depo isn't recommended for the long run (I take 1200mg of calcium daily).
I've been monitoring the thing since it was finally found via trans-vaginal ultrasound last October. It has grown, but early--by a millimeter or two. It's form seems to change a bit, but it is always classified as complex. My CA 125 wavers, between about 26 and 42. Most likely, it is benign.
Anyway, even though the mass doesnt bother me physically, it does weigh on my in the psychological sense and has me living in the land of what-ifs. Still, I am absolutely petrified of surgery and recovery. I am an extremely active person who can hardly sit still for more than ten minutes at a time. In the past, I struggled with eating disorders and body image. Those things are no longer a problem, but they are still things I think about and certainly affect my view on the recovery period. I am at a healthy body weight, quit smoking two years ago, go to the gym most days of the week, practice yoga and pole dancing, and am a vegetarian. I imagine all of those things are good and will contribute to a speedy recovery, but I can't help but dwell on the fears and anxieties.
I paid in full for the surgery today (I am outside of the States), so there is no turning back. I would just like to know if anyone has any advice or recommendations that can help to ease my mind as I await surgery over the next week. Any tips or thoughts are greatly appreciated.
Thanks so much!