Well, first, it sounds like you haven't gone through menopause - but are dealing with effects of the ovarian cysts and weight. Have you been told by your doctor that you need a hysterectomy? Unless there are extreme problems with the cysts, I can't see any reasonable gynecologist recommending a hysterectomy - of any age or gender.
I have found that younger female gynecologists tend to be a little more open towards women having their own opinions about their bodies. It's not a hard, fast rule, though! At least be open to finding a new gynecologist if you end up feeling uncomfortable with the one you are scheduled to see. Oh, and it would not be rude to ask the doctor's office for referrals. If you don't want to ask them, you can always check online for reviews, etc.
Congratulations on your weight loss! Don't be too sure about being unable to have children. Women much older than you have done it - and I honestly believe, from what you've said, that you are not postmenopausal. Fortunately, you will be able to find out for sure from the gynecologist.
And a note: if, at any point, they are rude about your weight, they make you feel shamed about your weight, etc. - walk out. There are plenty of doctors who know how to be respectful and you don't need to take any rudeness or lack of professional tact from anyone. Don't let them bully you into a million tests because they assume everything must be wrong strictly based on your weight. My mother has been through so much of this over the years! I wish you the best of luck!!!!
I don't think age or gender matters. It's reputation and experience. Another thing we don't know is how well they performed in med school. Did they graduate at the top of their class or did they just get by? My gynecologist/oncologist was an older male doctor (in his 50s?) with an outstanding reputation. Even when they were prepping me for surgery, the nurses had to throw in their high opinion of him (even though I didn't ask). It was very reassuring. And he felt a hysterectomy was too extreme of a measure when my only problem was with a large cyst (but he did strongly recommend removal of ovaries for me since I was post-menopausal). What is also important is how much continuing education do they get for themselves. I was not a good candidate for the Da Vinci robotic surgery, but my surgeon was highly trained and experienced in it. And I am sure it did not exist yet when he graduated.
My regular gynecologist is a woman, probably in her 40s. She referred me to the male gynecologist/oncologist (because they have the best surgical techniques for removing cysts), and he's the same doctor she sent her own mother to see. Basically I told her what hospital I preferred and asked which doctors were the best that were affiliated with that hospital. She immediately recommended him. So he is a "doctor's doctor", the doctor that a doctor would go see if they were in the same situation. Any hospital with a website probably lists their specialists/doctors by name. That is one idea where to start looking. If you have health insurance that lists doctors and hospitals that are in-network (which saves on your out of pocket expenses), ideally you want a doctor on that list.
Thank you so much for your comments. I have had such a hard weekend thinking of all of this and dreading the worst outcome.
In recent years I have been wondering if extreme stress could have suppressed my normal menstrual cycles since I had other stress related medical conditions hit me at approximately the same time such as psoriasis, stomach ulcers and arthritis. I have never had extensive lab work done on my hormone levels, just what I mentioned above. I did experience about a year of hot flashes and night sweats which is an indicator of menopause, so it would be a complete shock to me if the gynecologist told me I was not post menopausal.
I have not been told I need a hysterectomy as I have not see the gynecologist yet. As far as dealing with the symptoms of the cysts, it isn't anything I can't handle and would rather stay away from surgery if at all possible. What I have been doing is trying to educate myself from information online which is possibly not the best thing at this point without more solid information abut the cysts. I have been dealing with about ten days of spotting with a two day break and then I am on day five of what I would actually consider moderate menstrual bleeding which would be the firs time in over two-three years unless the bleeding is being is caused from a problem, I just don't know what to think about it. Perhaps with the stress I am under about this and other issues, my body is having physical reaction.
Thank you so much for your positive attitude about me possibly being able to have children still. I have dealt with the heartbreak of this for many years now since I have been assuming that I was past that possibility, but perhaps I have a reason to hope that isn't the case. I won't let myself go there mentally until I hear what the gynecologist has to say and hopefully he will do thorough testing. Part of me expects ridicule from a doctor for even wanting a child, I imagine they would think if I did I would have dealt with my weight problem.
I have had a lifetime of staying away from doctors because of a devastating experience with one when I was 14. I was going in to have a leg cast removed only to have this large male doctor tell me that it was grotesque that a girl my age be as fat as I was ( about 190 pounds). It's one thing to be ridiculed by other kids, but when a adult doctor slams me, and being ultra sensitive teenager it's a scar for life and I assume I will be harassed by every doctor I go to. I am getting better about not assuming that as much as I grow older and now have a very good doctor who is completely supportive towards me.
I appreciate your input about male or female doctors and their age. I will do some more digging online for more information. I do think this gynecologist is affiliated with a Seattle hospital so that made me feel better. I may still call my doctor's office and delicately ask a couple of question to ease my concerns.
Thank you again for your support and input, it has been greatly appreciated.