Hi I'm a 17 year old female and I suffer from PTSD from rape and verbal/physical abuse . It is exactly 5:04 am where I live (Washington DC) and I am terrified to sleep . I have had , from what I read , multiple false awakenings . I can't actually remember how it started and I'm sure there are parts I'm leaving out but here we go : in the beginning , I was "woke up" by my best friend Bree in my room but in the pitch dark . the only light source was her phone . we were laying in my bed when I saw a black figure run across the other side of my room . I asked her "did you see that" but she calmly said "ummm no" .. I'm sure there's more to that but I don't remember really ... Then that dream went from that to me waking up alone . For a second I was thinking "phew , I'm out of that scary crap" but then something , actually nobody just air , pulls my foot and forces me out of bed . I immediately jump up and run to my moms room and sisters room for help but they are not there (that has happened in a couple of my dreams) . when I noticed I was alone in my own home (which is one of my phobias , being alone) I jet for my front door then my building door . I stopped in my tracks when I realized that they're were kids outside trick or treating . the weird part is before I go on , I remember parts of my dream before this part of attempting to wake up because usually in my dreams if I fall asleep , I wake up in reality , but for this series of nightmares that wasn't the case . anyways , when the kids notice I stepped foot outside , something behind me said "well that was a bad idea" , then the kids came rushing towards my door screaming "you want some of this candy" , trick or treatttttt !!! they used slug hammers and knives to fight their way through the doors I was trying to lock but couldn't for some reason . then I fell into my room and I "woke up" again . but this time my mom walked into my room and I told her "Ma , I'm going crazy" and she said "calm down Asia , your going thru a 'physical' something ( I can't remember the term she used ) and I said "this isn't a dream is it?" And she replied , "no girl , go look in the bathroom and see , you are awake" I went into the bathroom to see and I looked normal but for some reason something told me , "if I look in the mirror and one of my eyes won't focus , I'm not awake" and my right eye looked off so I went "nope still sleep" .. I return to "my room" to my mom where she is sitting alone and she went "well?" And I said you lied to me . then my sister popped up so i definitely knew i was not awake ... Then I instantly shot up in my REAL ROOM in reality .. I feel stupid also because the whole time , my daughter Sophia sleeps in the room with me beside my bed in a rocker (that's the only thing that keeps her asleep lol) so I could have noticed she wasn't there and knew i was sleep but I didn't and everything seemed so real ! I have noticed these dreams happened right after me and Sophia's father broken up and been feuding every since . I have never been so scared because again , I can usually fall asleep in my dream and wake up in reality so when that didn't happen the first two times I attempted , I began to panic in fear I will never wake up . but when I did actually wake up , I immediately jumped up breathing hard and crying really bad . i got on my feet to avoid going back to sleep . I went to get a cigarette out of my window seal to go smoke outside (my daughter is only two months so I have to smoke outside ) I got scared and checked to see if the kids from my dream were there . obviously it was my dream but my brain was baffled and I feared if I was actually awake this time . when I noticed everything was normal in my kitchen , I grabbed a knife and tiptoed out of my room towards my door ... Now I'm still awake , afraid to go to sleep and im still sleepy as crap .I know I should be sleeping because my daughter wakes up though out the night but I just can't .... I'm just curious is to .... Is this a message from my awakening life or is it my PTSD all jacked up because of my heartbreak from my daughters dad ? Will these continue ? I don't like talking about things going on with me . I internalize everything . should I get relief from finally after 6 years of hurting inside ? HELP SOMEONE !!!