How can i move on?

[xxsecretxx]

I was in a four year relationship with the best guy iv ever met. We were completely perfect together. Both of us suffered from disorders, i am Bi-polar and he was diagnosed with Borderline personality disorder. We both went though very rough times, we were both cutters and argued a lot. After about a year he became more mentally imbalanced, he became physically and emotionally abusive and attempted suicide a few times. I never blamed him for any of his actions because of his BPD, i caused a lot of the arguments anyway. He was successful at committing suicide almost a year from today and his death caused me more turmoil than i could have imagined. I dont know why im still upset or what i can do to make myself stop thinking about him. My friends dont know why i would care so much about someone who abused me, but i cant move on because i still feel like he's a big part of my life. How can i move on? Why am i still feeling so strongly about him?

[drifter0213]

time is a healer :)

[lanvin]

You sound as if you are depressed and its not uncommon. You probably felt like he was a kindred spirit becasue you both suffered and had so much in common. Especially since these issues can be taboo in society and you can be made to feel like an outcast among the "normal" people. I am sorry for your loss and I woudl get some grief counseling and maybe an anitdepressant. MAke sure you are still seeking treatment for your illnesses. It migh take awhile to heal and you may never be completely over it and thats okay. You just have to find a way to go on living and trying to get yourself healthier. You will meet osmoene else one day and I am sure he will willl alwasy hold a special plac ein your heart. But you can't let it kill you too. Good lUck , hang in there. sometimes it just takes time to heal! A year is really not that long...