I am so unhappy :(

[happyhbmom]

Yesterday was my appointment with my neurosurgeon.  Every appointment I have to wait 3-4 weeks for, and so I've been anxiously waiting to discuss my surgery and hopefully schedule it.

But instead she called and cancelled it- I didn't get the message until later in the day- and I won't be able to see him until the end of October.  I just had a complete meltdown.  It was like somebody shut off the light at the end of my tunnel.  I cried myself to sleep at 5 pm and didn't get up again until this morning.

[GracethruFaith]

Great to hear. I am in a lot of pain but what else is new.

[happyhbmom]

Yep.  As annoying as it is, on the operating table, the experience will be invaluable.

I actually felt better this weekend for the first time in quite a while.  It was nice!  I didn't feel like I'd been run over by a truck and then dumped in a trashcan to get get me out of the way.

[peekawho]

Same thing happens to me with my neurosurgeon.  If they are "the best", they often get called for difficult traumas or other surgeries.

I just saw mine after being cancelled 3 times in a row.

[happyhbmom]

I'm doing OK.  Just hanging in, taking it one day at a time :)

[GracethruFaith]

Have not been on in a few, just wondering how your doing? If I missed a new posting sorry.

[happyhbmom]

Thanks for the support everyone.  I think I have decided to stick with this surgeon- the reason cancellations are so common is because he is often in surgery or called in for trauma surgeries.  What that means is that he's one of the more experienced in very complex spinal surgeries- anyone who's looked knows how hard that is to find!

So I'll just wait.  

Grace, I have a 3 year old fracture in my spine that has been causing me a lot of trouble and I am waiting for surgery to repair it.  

Luckily I do have a PM that is prompt with appointments, and I have one next week.  I am thinking to go back to the fentanyl patch because the MS-contin doesn't seem to be helping.

[GracethruFaith]

I'm really sorry to hear that this happened to you. I don't know your medical situation but I do know what it's like to have that hope in that next appointment that you might get some answers and hopefully relief from your suffering. I would be very tempted to tell that doctor off and find another but I know that may not be possible for you.

[flower12345]

I'm so sorry that your neuro did this! It's really unacceptable to treat people that way. What a letdown. Can you ask your doctor for a recommendation to another neuro, or has this one come highly recommended? I understand being continuously let down by doctors. It took me years to find my doctor--who is amazing.

[JadedSweetheart]

I'm so sorry they did that to you!  I know with CP we need all the hope for some kind of relief we can get.  You would think they could have called you sooner.  
Would it be an option to find a different Neurosurgeon?  I know sometimes it isn't when you find one you really trust and respect but if you were planning on getting another opinion or something maybe now would be a good time to do it?
Hang in there!

[marley2003]

GONE?!! OMG, that *****. There's just no other way to say it. I'm so sorry.

[happyhbmom]

She said he's going to be GONE all next month.  But this is the second time this has happened, so... who knows.  I wish he wouldn't have gone and given me so much damned hope if he is not even going to freaking BE there.

[marley2003]

Sorry to hear that. It really stinks that she would just cancel on short notice like that and not give you another appointment for another month. Maybe you could call and ask if they have any cancellations sooner that they can fit you in? I empathize with the meltdown. You can really psych yourself up for these appointments, especially if you might be looking forward to long-awaited relief. I would really try to see if there's anyway they could squeeze you in. Somebody HAS to cancel before the end of next month.

I hope they can somehow get you in sooner, if not try to focus on other things until your visit- I know that's easier said than done, of course.

Best wishes,

~marley2003