Oxycontin/Changes to personality

[nanapalooza]

My husband has severe shoulder pin from reconstructive shoulder surgery. He has been on it for at leaset 4 yrs, his personality has changed to the point where I can't see "Rob" in there any more. We once had a happy, full life together. Now there's nothing but T.V. We used to camp, but now we can't leave the house together because smeone might break in.  We have not gone anywhere together for over a year. We used to get dressed up,go to a movie and out to eat.He watched sports,which he has no interest in.  He has lost any touch with the reality's of life. He's on disability from work, times are hard-I talked him into raising small animals for meat-Boer Goats, rabbits, as I have always raised a garden. He does enjoy the animals.He repeateats himself constantly,takes no interest in his looks and when I met him it took him longer to fix his hair than I did.We used to sit and share Prairie Home Comp, but that's gone.There's nothing left.No sex in about 3 yrs. 54 & 56 yrs old.What am I to do?He says some very hurtful things to me-then turns it around on me when I cry. I'm not a wimp,but not financially able to leave-or I would in the hopes that he would see what he's doing to us. I left him once many years ago over another trubling problem,and we managed to straighten things out.But he will not hear me on this issue-I am not the only one who notices-friends, family--is there any way I can get this across to him? 20 yrs. is a long road to dead end. Also, he does not abuse them, other than he does drink 3-4 beers a day, sometimes more-sometimes less.

[Tuckamore]

I am so sorry to hear about what you are going through with your daughter. My heart aches for you. Your daughter is not exhibiting the normal behavior of someone that truly needs opiates to control pain. There are very good uses for opiates. Sadly abuse, addiction and dealers have made this an little known fact these days.  

I assume your daughter is an addict and not a Chronic Pain Patient - like we are on this forum.  Addiction is a disease. It needs treatment. As fntn said we have some wonderful Addict Forum at MedHelp. There are wonderfully wise ppl on these forums that have been there. I encourage you to post your concerns on them. Here's a few links:

http://www.medhelp.org/forums/Addiction-Substance-Abuse
And
http://www.medhelp.org/forums/Addiction-Living-with-an-Addict

I hope you'll try each - or both of these communities. They honestly do get it and can offer you support and information. I wish you the very best.

Take Good Care of Yourself,
~Tuck

[fntn]

MommaLeo -
There are several addiction communities that you can post your questions on here at MedHelp. We here, in this community - Pain Management, are chronic pain patients and we rely on our medications to make our lives bearable. There isn't anything wrong with any of the pain management drugs. They simply need to be taken as prescribed by the PMP.  Hopefully you can find help on the other communities, your daughter seems to have some addictive issues that need resolving.

[mommaLeo]

This is my first visit here, desperately seeking some understanding, my step daughter, and now my daughter have become strangers almost. You aren't the only ones struggling with behaviors of a loved one on oxycodone that can slice slivers unto your heart and soul. My daughter has recently(over the past year)demonstrated a personality change that seems to be replacing true memories & perception with memories & perception that portray me, and other family members that support and love her as almost demonic.
She says such hurtful and hateful things, she taunts and belittles me, and NOTHING I say or do seems to get through to her. She's almost 26, lives with me and my son, can't keep a job, and is systematically usurping my authority and tarnishing my reputation with our close friends and family.
I want to duct tape her in a chair until that med us out of her system and she becomes my daughter again

[Tuckamore]

Your story brings tears to my eyes. I am so sorry that the man you loved so dearly left you - and that you have suffered such anguish.

Normally I would just inform you that the person you are writing to is long gone - and than ask you to please begin a new thread as this one began almost 9 years ago - but you know that. I have a feeling you needed to vent and are trying to reach out and help someone you feel may be in your situation. So I won't offer my usual advice on beginning your own thread.

I will respectfully disagree that your husband's actions were/are due to proper use of a legally prescribed opiate for true pain. I can only assume - and I hate assuming - but your husband sounds like a louse! He may be an addict (approximately 4% of chronic pain pts on opiate therapy become addicts). The louses don't always show there true colors for years - the opiate may have given the false courage to show what he really was inside. Just like alcohol gives ppl false courage.

Now can opiates have unfavorable personality changes, yes for the small few. We'd be foolish if we didn't recognize that we are systems are not all the same. "Drugs" - any drug can reacts differently on different ppl. When this occurs changing to another opiate, reducing the dosage or finding other ways to treat the chronic pain should be and usually is reconsidered.

Your x-husband may have also had a mid-life crisis along with the pain and opiates. Who knows. Again I am sorry this happened to you.

I've been on opiate therapy and am happily married for many years. So are many ppl that come here. Opiates when used inappropriately - or for those few that do become addicted can ruin lives. The key words here are inappropriate usage and addicts.

I believe with or without opiates your x-husband would have eventually been a louse, left you and found alcohol or another drug to ease his internal pain. It's him my dear, not you or the opiate.  

My heart goes out to you. You're a survivor. Thanks for stopping in and sharing your sad story.

Take Care,
~Tuck

[reborn7777777]

Kreed I see it was a year you shared about your life and your husband. If you happen to see this, I pray that God has rescued you from all that comes with being married to oxy. Oxy stole my husband too. Nothing of him exists any more, I don't even know the person he is now. He isn't someone I would choose to spend my life with or have a relationship with. I came on MH to try to find some answers even I have been Blessed to be able to live in  peace for the last 4 1/2.  I still grieve for the man I loved and married. I invested everything in our marriage. No matter how bad things were. I would have continued doing so, for better or for worse. I could feel your confusion and pain and understand where your coming from. My husband & i were married 25 years ago and lived together 2 years before marrying. He was kinda shy somewhat quiet. He would help people and do a great job in everything he did. He would do anything for the boys & I. We would go camping, to the movies, out to dinner, visit people. For 16 years we raised our family in church. He allowed our sons to believe he was a Christian and supported Gods way.  Then it all changed. He had neck problems needed surgery. Doc. put him on pain meds. My husband said he wasn't taking them. Before long he started changing. He didn't want people coming over. He was always mad, but said he wasn't. He quit jobs, was fired from  jobs, went to prison 3 times during the time we were together,  he cheated, lied, treated us like we were the last people he wanted to be around. Always in debt and over drawing the checking account. Things would break down he wouldn't fix them. If someone asked for his help, he would tell them yes, but then never help them unless they paid him. Then some how he got 1/2 of the money before he got started and didn't do a very good job if he finished the work at all.  When he came in from where ever he had been, he wouldn't speak to our sons or me unless we spoke to him first. He completely disconnected from us. He couldn't find a job went back to school met someone quiet a bit younger. Of course he didn't tell me. One day he just walked out moved in with her. School friend he called her. He became boastful, and wanting more then his 15 minutes of fame, fabricating stories  He finally had his neck surgery just this year says he feels so good he doesn't even have to take an aspirin. He doesn't know that i know he is still taking the oxy. He doesn't even see what he has become . Cry out to God the only one who can help cause YES oxy can change and steal personalities, lives and families futures!             PRAYING FOR YOU

[10356]

Hello Kreed. Welcome to MH. I'm so sorry to read what you and your family are going thru. You would find appropriate support in the Living With A Addict forum here on med-help.. Just copy and paste what you wrote and you will get responses.. Yes Once someone becomes addicted it causes personality changes. It sounds very much as if your husband has a addiction. This is in no way your fault. A support group you may want to check out is AL ANON it  a group made up of family member of addicts, there are many meetings in many towns all over the place. Please check out the living with the addict forum read some of the stories You may find yourself reading your own. I wish you well. lesa

[philnoir]

I am a witness that opioid pain therapy does not make one lose emotion.

My dear, I've been using opioids daily for over 30 years, and I've been happily married since 1979 with three sons and 4 grandchildren.

I am very sorry to hear of your family's dysfunction, and although I don't wish to pass judgment on your ex-husband, I wouldn't condone his irresponsible behavior.

Although a small percentage of people have a problem with addition when taking pain medication, the vast majority of chronic pain patients have stable lives once our pain is under control.

You have my sympathy, but I'm sorry -- I cannot supply answers as to his behavior.

Best wishes for you and your family.

[kreed1]

I guess i should not say crazy  but loss of emotion is what i mean, do these meds usually make people forget there family, especially when using them so often and in the wrong way? He asked me for a divorce and left our family what i want to know is do these meds cause people to do these things

[philnoir]

These medications are not made for snorting up the nose, but to treat pain, and normally don't make anyone crazy.

I'm sorry your family is experiencing the problems you report, but it doesn't sound like pain is an issue, so you might do better to seek help elsewhere.

[kreed1]

my husband has been using oxycodone percocet and vicodin on and off for years. He became unemployed about a year and a half ago. He wont get envolved with our family and doesnt seem to do anything but blame me for everything, now he has asked me for a divorce and has a girlfriend. I dont know what to do. My question is if you are using these meds and snorting them up your nose every day do they make you forget your emotions or forget about your family? I keep blaming my self but i want to know if they cause crazy behavior like this.

[chuck23]

Hi,
Ive been on meds for over a year now, and Ive been out of work for over a year and a half. I have always supported my family up until my injury. After six months I began to change. I didnt feel myself anymore. I thought my wife didnt care because all she did was complain. Talk to your husband, let him know your there for him and dont make him feel worsst than what he does. Sometimes when were down we just need someone to lift us up. You have to let him know he can still trust you and explain to him how the meds are getting in the way of your marriage. But be careful though because you dont want to come off like he's addicted to them or he will put up that brick wall. What people dont understand is that its more than the meds. As a married man myself, the minute I was unable to provide for my family i begin to get upset. Not to mention the meds that I was on took away my sex drive and made it impossible to get an erection, can you amagine what that felt like as a man. So dont give up. What he is going through will pass,but he cant do it alone. He needs your strength to help. But what ever you do, dont make him feel less of a man. encourage him, let him know he can do it, and that you all are in it togather. Give him a reason to fight, cause if not, he will give up. I hope this help

[Summer123]

Hi, I've been on pain meds for 12 years due to a neck disability.  Recently I've tapered down to 10 mg of oxycodone.  People have told me that it changed my personality, so that is why I'm getting off of the meds even though I still have the pain.  Also, heard that the pain meds really don't work that long anyway.  Of course you suffer from more pain while getting off the meds, but truthfully, tylenol or ibuprofen seems to work just as well as the percocet (oxycodone) does.  I was very similar to your husband.  It is the drugs talking, not the real him.  Think the pain meds also increase the anxiety.  Ask him about talking to his doctor about tapering off the meds.    He may be afraid to leave the house for fear of someone breaking in for fear they will steal his meds.   Life will be so much better when he is off the meds and just uses massage, heat, ibuprophen for the pain.  See the addiction forum.  Even though he's not abusing his meds (I never took more than what the pain dr. prescribed, in fact less meds), he is still probably both physically and mentally dependent upon them.  Best of luck.