No quality of life?

[qol]

What are a professional's thoughts on someone in pain with zero quality of life? Is there any advice that I may not have heard that may ease my mind? I have had chronic nerve pain for over 5 years. It affects a very sensitive area of my body which seems to make the pain worse. The pain is vice-like, although I do have shooting pains when I "exercise". The pain seems to make me feel queasy, but I have digestive issues so this may be in my mind.

I am 23 years old. I feel emasculated every day. I rely on holistic medicine as my prescribed medications ruined my body. I took large doses of pain medications for 4 years as directed by my doctors. I was strongly encouraged to work through my pain and I feel this advice has proven to make my condition worse. I am usually angry and feel disdain for doctors based on my many experiences with them. I have no money. My health insurance is of the jump-through-hoops-for-nothing variety. I may visit a family clinic but that is the extent of my options through my health plan. I live in pain, which makes my mood poor, and my emotions worse. I have endured extensive abuse as I was raised and consider that emotional baggage as child's play compared to chronic pain and the secondary issues it poses.

I am tired of living like this. I don't have family or friends. I am made to over-rely on my girlfriend and she and her family resent me. My quality of life is hovering near zero. I have been through therapy both pre-surgery and post-, and found it lacking value. I consider myself very thoughtful and the issues that are present don't seem to have any answers.

Can a professional with experience dealing with patients in debilitating chronic pain offer advice? Please note that I do not have family, friends, or money.

[Jaybay]

I was in your shoes for the first couple of years of my chronic pain journey.  Once I started seein a pain psychologist, I clawed my way out of my old life and started to make a new one.  It took me a while to realize that I was "becoming" my illness.  It was all I thought about and the first thing anyone thought of when my name came up was "sick."  I had to train myself and everyone around me to think of me first and my illness last.  There is still joy to be had in life - even with pain.  

Nothing will take my pain away and nothing will probably take yours completely away either.  It's how we cope with it that counts.  The more you allow yourself to stay in an angry, frustrated and hopeless frame of mind, the worse your pain and your entire life will be.  Relaxation, distraction and self-hypnosis techniques do help if you practice them.  I know it sounds trite, but you have to focus on what you CAN do rather than what you can't; the good rather than the bad.  The more you isolate yourself, the worse it's all going to get.  

There is a huge mental side of chronic pain that gets ignored all too often.  The gold standard would be talk therapy with a psychologist who specializes in chronic pain and cognitive behavior therapy.  I know you have no money at the moment, but that doesn't mean you can check out some library resources on the subject.  You're the only one who can live your life.  Nobody else can live it for you or tell you how to live it - with or without chronic pain.  What you CAN do is make it a good life that has meaning.  Don't let your pain steal your joy.

[Tuckamore]

Hello Qol,

Welcome to MedHelp's patient to patient Pain Management Forum. There are not physicians or experts in the community.  We do have an Medical "Expert" Forum where many questions are answered by Jyoti Kalra, MBBS of Star Care. Here is the link:

http://www.medhelp.org/forums/Chronic-Pain/show/325

I am saddened to hear how very difficult the journey through Chronic Pain has been for you. None of us have an easy time of it...but obviously a few of us has many more challenges then others...for various reasons. My heart goes out to you.

If you would care to join our community we would welcome you. Although we are not medical professionals we draw support, information and encouragement from one another. It's a wonderful forum. I wish you the very best and hope to hear from you again soon.

Take Care,
~Tuck

[namnam46]

Hi qoi,

I think you may have mistaken THIS forum as a Doctor's Forum.  The Pain Management Forum has NO Doctors.  You need to go to the top of the page and click on Forums.  The list on the right are the Doctors Forums.  They can give you the Professional's thoughts and input that you are looking for.  

I hope that this has been of help to you. :).......Sherry