Pain meds

[marycarmel]

I haven't posted much here in years.  Like most of you, I've faced discrimination with CP patients.  I switched from my first PM clinic because they had me on a boatload of meds (Fentanyl, oxycodone, Ativan, and Ambien.) I was way overmedicated.  They insisted I needed them.  So I took off the Fentanyl patch (not knowing what I was in for.  I don't recommend CT off it.) I then went into pain management that was connected to my primary care.  Initially they took me way down to a low dose, at my request.  They always would increase my dose during a flare-up.

Then everything just went sideways for all of us.  My pain management doctor quit pain management and went to practice orthopedics in another practice.  The new pain management doctor was very nice, seems very competent.  At this point I had come off all my meds.  I could see the writing on the wall and I didn't want to come off meds on their timetable; I wanted to do it on my timetable.  Right now I'm getting cortisone injections and epidural injections in my back.  I'm on gabapentin for nerve pain (I don't think it does much,) and ibuprofen as well as a couple of prescription ointments and gels, and high doses of ibuprofen.  I also use ice and heat.  I get cortisone injections in my knees.  None of this comes close to helping alleviate my pain.  The PM doctor will prescribe me oxycodone for a few days when the pain is seriously making me lose my mind.  I think we've all been there with that idea that crosses your mind that this just isn't worth it.  I'm not willing to become physically dependent on meds.  I'll suck up the pain because I never want to go through the withdrawals like I did.  I logically knew what withdrawal was and that it was unpleasant, but I kind of thought I'll be fine.  The Fentanyl withdrawal is etched into my brain.  I shouldn't have attempted it without medical help but I'm kind of stubborn like that.

Anyway, thanks for letting me rant/vent.  It also helps to let things out, even if you're not looking for advice, per se.  Though I'm certainly open to any words of wisdom :)