Anxiety About Grades

[Velik]

My son is 9 years old and just started the 4th grade in August.  He started off the school year doing just fine, getting A's and B's.  Then all of a sudden he got a D on a paper.  We went over his mistakes and I told him that it happens to everyone once in a while.  About a week later, he got another D on a paper.  I told him that he can't make a habit of this and that 4th grade is going to be harder than 3rd and just to continue to do his best.  Ever since he got the second D, he has had an extreme level of anxiety about his tests and grades (even though he still continues to get A's and B's and hasn't gotten another D since).  He will cry (at home and at school) about the upcoming tests and worry obsessively about study sheets for tests, having all his papers (making sure he hasn't lost anything) as well as going over and re-going over the things he's learned in school that day at home (even though he knows the material backward and forward).  He also bothers the teacher about tests that she hasn't even announced yet.  He says he is worried that he won't get a good grade, even though my husband and I (along with all his teachers) have repeatedly told him that he's doing great and has no reason to be worrying.  We also make sure that he knows that no one is perfect (including mom, dad or him) and that as long as he is trying his best at school, it doesn't really matter to us.  When we put him in bed at bedtime, he will come into our room 15 minutes later crying because he has laid there and thought about getting bad grades and is upset again.  It then takes us an hour and a half to get him to sleep.  Although once he is finally asleep, he stays asleep and does not have nightmares or anything.  We are contacting the school guidance counselor because we just aren't sure what to do from here besides reassuring him.      

Does anyone have any suggestions of what we can do to calm his anxiety over this?

[jdtm]

There's lots of information on the internet re test anxiety.  I might suggest you google the phrase "dealing with test anxiety" or "test anxiety" or similar phrases to find information about this topic.  Hope this helps ...

[margypops]

It does read as if the focus has been on his negative grades ,and tests and school,  maybe a suggestion to focus on his positive side if he continully hears he has to do better and he "cant " make a habit of it , this is the cause of the anxiety, take a step back, say no more ,focus on his positive behavior , hes only 9year  old,, does he have sports and games and outside activities?

[babygirl6152]

if you ask me- you are the best parents he could ask for- you have thought thru everything he is feeling and given wonderful guidance-
if you want to try going a bit further I tried both my boys (at different times) on St. John's Wort and one responded very well. Also SAM-e is very effective at calming anxiety- poor thing. I will pray for you all