Im thinking that maybe she needs to be tested for adhd. That's really what it sounds like in my opinion. Im GLAD to hear that you are feeling better after getting it all out! Hey we ALL need a good cry or a shoulder to lean on every now and again! CHIN UP girl and Please keep us updated!
Many of the characteristics that you describe within your post reminds me of autism. Have you had your daughter evaluated by her pediatrician ruling out medical and psychological issues that might be contributing to this behavior such as autism? That is where I would search first for an answer.
Thanks for responding, just talking about things has made them seem so much better than I thought they were and a lot of that was just venting!
I don't feel like she's a blow to my ego, I don't have much self esteem but I don't think that way about her. By nature I'm very shy and anxious, so I guess she is kind of the opposite to me so it could be a bit of a clash of personalities at work.
Sorry, it's hard to write down 7 years in a few paragraphs. I do talk with her a lot, I work with her on her social skills and explain to her about personal space and that people will want to be friends with her if she lets them play and talk as well and isn't just pushing herself onto people. I have gotten really close to her face and spoken loudly (not aggressively, just to show her what she does) before and she didn't like it and for a few minutes she seemed to understand but then reverts straight back to old behaviour. This happens over and over hence why I feel like she's not actually learning. The thing is she's really really good and gentle with younger children, so I don't know what's causing her to be so strange with her own age group and older.
I get angry and protective and am the first to defend her when people speak badly of her, I'll shrug it off at the time but it does play on my mind because I'm naturally a worrier. I heard someone say "I'd slap that kid if it was mine" and I was absolutely furious and told her what does she know and to mind her own business. I know I shouldn't care what people think but it gets to me sometimes.
Just writing all this has made me realise just how much I love her, I think a big vent, cry and going back to things with a new perspective and feeling a bit more positive will help. I don't have friends or family nearby so don't get much adult company. Massive weight off my shoulders so I can be a bit more fun for her to be around too.
I know that kids are hard, I've been working hard for years for this and technically I could've given her up at any point but fought to have her so things clearly aren't as desperate as I thought a few hours ago, I would never actually give up on her.
I know my original post came over very extreme, things are not always strained and we have very close times too and there are lots of things I enjoy and like about her too. I feel like it's impossible to talk about the bad things though and I feel very alone so I guess I bottled up every bad thought, magnified it then splurged it all out at a bad time! :(
I have been working closely with her teacher and there has been a slight improvement since she first started school so I think it may just take a little longer for us to get there. Her teacher is anti labelling in general but I feel like there is something there and if we could get any kind of help or guidance then it would be a big help
Exactly how I feel Rosy. I feel very bad for this little girl. Makes me sad too.
And I don't know how I personally feel about it but have u considered that she may be ADHD with the impulse control problem etc?? She definitely needs you in her corner as it sounds like not many people are. Makes me sad.
Do you think you are taking how other people see her as a blow to your own ego? Do you perhaps see some of yourself in her as so often happens, the parts of yourself you don't like, so you resist who she is? Just curious. Those two scenarios happen.
Some kids are easier than others. My own son has a developmental delay and sensory integration disorder. He too has struggled with behavior, friends, etc. I've worked really closely with him to help him. He now has friends and understands how to handle himself. he may revert back to some of his less desirable behaviors, but he does try to work on it. I'm not sure why you haven't worked with your daughter on her social skills, behaviors that you don't like such as how she talks to people, etc. This is really a parents job. We may be born one way but in the toddler years when we identify an issue, we as parents do the HARD work to help guide our children and teach them what they need to know.
I would focus on what you like about her. Explore that. And tune out all the rude people that say things about her. How dare they!! Makes me mad. That you actually gave them the power over you is a problem. You care too much what others thing. And if you agreed with them, then it is your responsibility to help her grow as a person and work on undesirable social skills. She's only 7---- still plenty of time.
good luck