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Avatar universal

Budding *********?

My son is 16 and I recently found anime porn on his computer.  It is cartoon drawings of little boys engaged in homosexual encounters and a couple of them involve an adult or teenager with a little boy. Even after letting him know I found it and discussing it with him and his therapist, he continued to look at this stuff every chance he got.  I recently put software on his computer to monitor all computer activity and have now completely blocked the internet.  His therapist insists on having me present at every session and I don't think that will lead to openness.  I'm worried he will become a *********.  He has always been a good kid in every way, but extremely shy and afraid to talk to people, even peers.  Any thoughts?
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Avatar universal
It might not lessen the obsession, but if it gives him an outlet that doesn't involve hurting real children, then that's something to consider.  
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Avatar universal
Thank you so much for answering my concerns.  I have not been on that email account in a while and so, didn't notice the comments until today.  We have continued to see the same therapist each week and I get more and more frustrated.  It's like a little chit-chat session and my son refuses to say anything.  I have found another therapist, a young man in his 20's and I think he's really good, but he is out of network and we'll have to pay $75/session rather than the $5.50 we've been paying.  My husband says it is well worth it and I guess I agree, so I'm about to call him.  The interesting thing is that he has not masterbated to the anime images, because once I asked him if he closed the shades when looking at them and he said no and looked at me like I was crazy. Like "why would I close the shades?"  He's not an exhibitionist, so I am quite sure he is not masterbating.  So I think maybe he is trying to deal with it like Kage_no_Taren says.

But Kage, I think that looking at this stuff all the time will increase his obsession, not lessen it.
Helpful - 0
758147 tn?1233993482
hes a teenage boy who is curious he wants to know about this thing called sex maybe he is also masterbateing but you locking something away may just make him pull further away from you maybe you should try this thing called parenting from a far take the program off the computer and try talking to him not with the theripest but one on one and see why hes looking and dont try to have the sex talk with the kid have an adult male have the sex talk because i know from experience that the sex talk is embaresing enough let alone doing it with someone of the oppesit sex such as a teenage boy and his mother
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Avatar universal
I agree, in general.  But if he's got those impulses anyway, then what he's doing is the safest way to cope with them.  
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203342 tn?1328737207
I disagree. A lot of that Anime is pretty dark stuff. My daughter was into it for awhile there. So are a lot of kids who are in to the Emo thing. She went down a pretty dark path for awhile there, including the cutting (which you also see in Anime) and was deeply depressed and angry. We got her in to counseling and made her get rid of all the dark pictures and music. She slowly came around and recently came back to God and her faith. She now is off all anti-depressants and is much happier and calmer. I think what we put in our minds is powerful. Garbage in, garbage out, they always say. There's something to that. We have to be careful what we feed our minds.
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Avatar universal
I assume the censored word is *********, and if he is one, he is, and if he isn't, he won't become one, it's like being gay.  Your goal as a concerned parent, if he does have those attractions, is to -help- him find ways of dealing with it that don't hurt anyone.  And anime drawings are about as safe as it gets...no actual children were harmed in the making of this shounen-ai, you know? Normal kiddie porn exploits children, that stuff doesn't.  Anyway, 50% of the guys I know (I'm 17 and most are around the same age) look at stuff like that, and one is an admitted *********, but none have ever harmed a child.  Get some perspective, and get your son a new therapist.  
Helpful - 0
203342 tn?1328737207
You should find a therapist who will have one on one sessions with your son and also family sessions. Your son does need to feel comfortable enough to be able to talk to someone in confidence. If the therapist feels he's a danger to himself or others he would have to let you know, otherwise, everything he says would remain confidential.

I would be worried too. Keep talking to him.
Helpful - 0

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