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Need advice. My 16 year old daughter has been cutting herself.

I've read several other posts on the same topic, and like the others, I'm devastated!  Where things get harder is that I'm not the custodial parent.  She lives her father several hours away.

There is a history of depression in my family. I have had tendencies to self-harm in the past, but never followed through.  So I have some idea of what she is going through.  I am able to use candid conversations about my experiences to get her to open up to me ... Some.  

Her father said he was going to get her into counseling.  But of course she does not want to go.

She said it makes her feel weak to admit that she cuts.  She doesn't want to talk about it to me or anyone else.

She has always been my "happy baby", my "sunshine".   I know she doesn't want to disappoint me by not being happy.

What is DBT?

I'm so lost.  And feeling so guilty for not being there with her.  I feel like I've let her down.

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P.S.  She told her father that we are "over-reacting", the she isn't "going to die".  How do we get her to understand how dangerous this is
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