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Rules for 17 year old daughter

I have a 17 year old daughter and we seem to have our differences when it comes to a lot of things(eg boys, school..etc). She’s not doing the best in school but we’ve made it clear to her the importance of it and she understands and is trying her best. She’s even agreed to not having a boyfriend so she can properly focus on the last year of high school. I’ve said to her that for the next year study comes first and she shouldn’t focus on socialising, her friends and especially boys. I said she can still go to parties but I demand for the address and phone number of the house she is going to and I must be there to pick her up. Recently she’s opened up to me and mentioned to me about some stuff. She said that she agreed to not having a boyfriend but that doesn’t mean she’s not going to have any interaction with boys whatsoever, she says she’s got needs which I understand completely. She has this guy friend that she’s known for a while, he’s a nice guy from a nice family and they get along great, she’s been to his place and slept over a few times, but when I asked her if they are just friends she admitted that there is something more. She said he’s not her boyfriend, that they’re kind of like friends with benefits. I don’t know what I should think about this, should I be concerned? Should I  allow her to continue this relationship?
Thanks
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973741 tn?1342342773
ugh.  Well, trying to stop her creates a romeo and Juliet situation.  But she is foolish to buy into that friends with benefits baloney.  That ends in someone having hurt feelings almost always.

Anyway, high school is supposed to partly be about the experience.  How is she going to go off to college if she can't be self motivated and have self control to get her stuff done?  I understand your concern . . .   but gosh, this is a bigger problem than her liking boys.  She's been apathetic about school.  You can tell her its important all you want and it doesn't mean she'll see it that way. I  hope she does realize though in enough time to get better habits.

So, maybe try having her social life as a reward.  I know that my school system has checks and balances for parents.  Progressbook is common ---  does your district use this?  Basically its a window into any and all grades, missing assignments, late work, etc.  You see it all.  You chart their progress in all of their classes.  Whatever system your district uses to monitor kids, sign up and pay attention and allow her to earn her way to having friends, fun and a boyfriend.  Going out on Friday night?  You need to have X,Y and Z done during the week along with whatever your minimum achievement is in her classes for that week.  If not, she has another chance the following week.  

I wouldn't allow her to spend the night at a guy's house though.  Sorry, she's only 17 and that's inappropriate.  friend or friend with benefits.  I would not allow that.  

That's my 2 cents.  Good luck and let us know how it goes
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