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i would love some advice about constructive ways to dicipline my 2 year old son. He is so strong willed and i do not believe in spanking and i find myself trying to reason and bargain with him. Its not that he is terrible he is great but i dont have a clue what to do to get him to listen and would like to get that under control before my baby is born in july. Also would love advice on potty training. he seems to do well for a day or two and then looses all intrest. Thanks, tina
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332370 tn?1205698717
I have a very strong willed child as well and I also do not spank.  We found giving our child choices works really well for him.  When he does not want to do something like clean up his room I give him a choice.  I tell him he can either clean his room or I get to take everything that is left out and keep it for the next day his choice.  This works really well for our son.  He tries to test me to see if I will follow through but has learned really fast that I do what I say.  Time out also works really well.  Make sure it is in a place where there is nothing fun to do and only make it a minute for each year he has been alive.  With a two year old it is hard to get them to stay there so you may have to put him there a few times until he get's the idea that you mean business.  Stay consistent as this is the age where they will try to test the boundaries at every moment.  I also find that letting my son know up front what is expected of him and the consequences for misbehavior helps him stay in line.   For instance if we are at a store I let him know he can stay out of the cart as long as he stays with me.  If he wanders off or starts to get out of hand I will put him in the cart.  It is always a struggle to find things that work to get our kids to listen to us.  Every child is so different and not everything that other parents have tried always work.  Good luck to you and I hope some of this helps a little.

Kaylee55
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361951 tn?1220578983
Bribe him--LOL!  It's amazing how fast my 2 year old will clean up her toys if I tell her that she can then play with play-doh (she loves play-doh!---which is also a great activity to occupy a toddler when tending to a newborn).

Another thing I sometimes do is talk about the day when we're settling her into bed.  We review the day and talk about all the good things she did that day, and maybe mention 1 or 2 things that she can work on tomorrow.

Good luck!  
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Avatar universal
i agree,time out worked works wonders. mine was so spoild and wouldn't listen, we started doin time out for every year she was old and then after she could come out i got down to her level and asked her if she knew why she got introuble,if she wanted to do it again and better ways to deal w/something the next time. Just a few minutes everytime but it got SO much better after only a month.. i felt bad but to get her to understaind why time out was no fun a few times in the beginging i would turn up her TV show :( i felt so bad everytime but she learnd quick after that. i always made her say sorry to
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Avatar universal
I agree with Kaylee... offering choices (not bargains or bribes... they shouldn't get the idea that acting up will get them a sweet deal) and using time-out works wonders for me.  Choose a a discipline that you agree with, use it consistently, and follow through with anything you say you're going to do.  

That said, bribery is my policy for potty training, haha!  We kept a little basket of wrapped presents from the dollar store near the bathroom (go to the party aisle... there are 6-8 items in each package, you can wrap them all, haha.  But careful about choking hazards) --  my little one was crazy about unwrapping presents and she thought this was the COOLEST thing ever.  We started out by giving her a little surpise each time she sat on the potty, then eventually only if she actually went pee, then only if she went potty by herself (without us telling her to go try).  Getting the surprises eventually faded out without us having to take them away... she just sort of forgot about it once we moved the basket out of her line of vision.  

Whatever small token motivates your child is the best bet... jellybeans, prizes... But the real key is just being REALLY positive and never making him feel bad for having accidents, but staying very consistent and not resorting back to pullups anytime it starts to go downhill.  
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Avatar universal
I have a stubborn child he is now 4 1/2. When he was two and three we had the same problem. We started taking things away, usally the thing that was causing the not listening or the thing he would not pick up.

We carried that with potty training whatever he was playing with when he decided not to go to the potty that was taken away and then we he did go potty he got to pick something, but he really didn't do very well with that until he was really ready then it was a piece of cake.

Tv is a great treat to him so when he went to the potty he got to watch a show if he peed he just get to watch, but know at 4 1/2 he hold the T a little to high on the priotiy list. He got potty trained though

don't give up
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Avatar universal
I agree with the time out. I do spank, but it's the LAST resort in my house! My son is very strong willed and will attempt to get his way every time, but he is VERY sensitive at the same time. His feelings get hurt very easily and maybe that helps us to discipline. If he throws a tantrum or doesn't act appropriately we send him to his room. He gets so emotional that he just throws himself on the floor and cries. We wait about two minutes and then go in and tell him that when he is done crying he can come out. He usually sucks it all in and says "all done". Once he's out, we talk to him about his behavior and tell him why his actions were unacceptable. It seems to work in our case, but I think some of the other moms had a valid point about the time out space needing to be somewhere there are no fun things around. We haven't had to cross that bridge yet. We usually have to use timeout about 4 times a month. We are very fortunate. My Brother in law uses a chair in the dining room that faces the wall and every time they get up it's an extra minute. His wife even uses a kitchen timer and they know when they hear the buzzer they are "free"!.
In attempt to getting him to do things such as cleaning up his toys, we offer choices. You can take a bath first and then clean up or clean up and take a bath. He feels empowered by the order in which both of these necesary tasks are done simply because he chose. It's a win win for us. We give him choices on fun things too. I think it keeps him from being suspicious. LOL!
My son is 28 months old and I have another on the way due in August. I was really hoping for him to be potty trained by the time the next one got here, but I realize you can't rush it. My friend suggested putting him on the potty chair when we start the bath and it worked! It was like an instant reaction to the water. Once he "made pee pee in the potty" and we made a really big deal he wanted to do it each night before bath. I didn't mention it to him at any other time of the day. Once it became habit for him to go at bath time I started doing it first thing in the morning and let that become habit and so far we have been building upon it. He has gone several days mistake free and then other days where he'll go 2 -3 times in his pants. I think the key is not pushing to hard, but encouraging them and offering up a lot of praise when they do it. I too went to the dollar store. I originally started praising with 3 M&M's for every pee and 5 M&M's for every poo, but I hate giving candy to my son. I hate the sugar and the idea of what it does to his teeth. The little whistles and such were a bigger hit any way.  
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