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How do I help my daughter with her toilet issues?

My daughter is 5 1/2 and is still having toilet training issues?  We started toilet training, thanks to daycare rules, back when she was 3.  She didn't have an interest then and still does not have much now.  These days she holds her bm's only to have what seems like a million accidents over a couple of days before she finally decides on using the toilet.  Peeing her pants, just enough to relieve herself, but sometimes it's more.  I feel like I'm going crazy with this.  I've tried encouragement, stickers on the calender, putting beads in a jar, etc, etc. This type of thing can work a for a day or sometimes up to a week and then she doesn't care anymore.  She sometimes decides on her own that she'll just go and things will go well for so long before it goes backwards again.  We've been in a bad state of peeing and pooing for the last two months and really are beside ourselves as to what to do.  I'm now back into using pullups at night but not during the day.  Given, we had a new baby 1 1/2 ago and just recently moved but these issues began at 3, not just recently.  I'm beginning to wonder if this is a behavioral problem vs just a power struggle or something else.  I've had her tested for UTI and she's okay, twice even, and nothing.  Any suggestions????  Please, I need help.  I'm calling the DR again to see what else I can do.  Thansks.  Mom & Dad going crazy.
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332370 tn?1205698717
I know how you feel I have an almost 5 year old boy who is the same way.  He refuses to use the toilet.  Luckily he will do his bm's on the toilet but he will not go pee on the toilet unless made too.  It is so very frustrating that at times I feel like we are never going to get over this.  We have tried everything as well and you are right they work for a day maybe a week and then the child does not care.  I guess the only thing to do is hope that eventually they will get it.  I know this does not help you any but just wanted to let you know that you are not alone.  

Kaylee55
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Avatar universal
Thanks for your response.  I was beginning to wonder if I even posted it right.  I find most "question" posts are really just that.  I haven't found too much help on this issue.  I took my daughter to the doctor yesterday to be referred to a Pediatrician.  I'm hoping this will help.  I really believe this is a behavioral / power struggle.  My daughter is middle child and everyone says that there is that "middle child" syndrome.  Who knows?  I was a middle child but I don't remember anything being so horrible.  I do think she is jealous of the baby ( 1 1/2 ) now but this was going on before he came around too.  It's nuts.  I think I'm going to talk to a counsellor/therapist to figure out some behavioural issues for mom/dad and our daughter.  I'm sure there are some sort of tricks to change behavior, we just need to learn them.  I have heard of the Complimentary method, no negative stuff, only positive.  Could be difficult though when you're thinking the opposite!
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