Avatar universal

Very angry 5 year old....what to do?

My son has had anger problems since he was three.  He hit everyone, classmates, family, me.  He is still hitting classmates and recently has started hitting me again.  He has been seeing a psychologist since January.  I thought things were getting better but now he is back to his old ways.  He also has a hard time going to sleep and staying asleep.  I took him to the primary to have this taken care of.  I stated that he snores.  The doctor said that that can be most of his problems.  Snoring in children his age can lead to behavior problems and all kinds of things.  He saw3 a psychiatrist today and she put him on a low dose of melatonin for falling asleep.  She and the primary want him to go to ear, nose and throat for the snoring and staying asleep.  Tonight he went totally out of control.  I turned off the tv to have some reading and playing time and he had a fit.  He was scratching me and jumping on me.  I told him to go take a time out and he trew all his toys on the floor and started throwing them violentle around.  One hit me, pretty hard and I spanked him.  Just on the butt to let him know I was serious about what he was doing being not acceptable.  He loooked at me with the meanest face and said I hate you and I want to kill you.  Now, I have heard the I hate you so many times it doesn't even phase me, but what 5 year old says they want to kill someone?  I said nothing and he said nothing, he just kept staring at me with that look in his eyes.  I am wondering if I should just let it go or call the psychologist or what?  He was fine at bed, a little rambuncious, but that is normal.  I just do not know.  The psychologist said it would get worse before it gets better but I don't know if it should get this bad.  Any feedback would be appreciated.
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134578 tn?1614729226
They might be right that his short fuse is caused by being chronically sleep-deprived from apnea.  I hope the melatonin is useful, you might also have the ENT doctor judge whether he has any allergies that are stuffing up or closing his nasal passages at night.  A kid not getting enough oxygen will have a heart that is working twice as hard as it should, and will wake up all night, and that all means getting about half the sleep he needs.  Be sure his room is not lit (like from a streelamp) at night, darkness helps people stay asleep.  My son told me yesterday he wanted me to go away and never be his mommy again, well, so what.  That's what angry kindergartners say, and a kid getting not enough rest will certainly get impatient and angry fast.

If you are worried about the kill language, ask the psychiatrist, but it just sounds like the kind of thing he is saying out of his stressed state.  In other words, not a lot worse than "I hate you."
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Avatar universal
Yeah, thanks.  It just really threw me for a loop.  I do have all the appointments in place for the ent and the melatonin is getting him to sleep but not helping with the anger yet.  But, at least he is getting more sleep.  The problem with the lights is that he is afraid of the dark, but like I said he is doing better with the falling asleep now.   I also talked to his psychologist about my concerns because he is actually physically hitting me now and he said that if the ent can't figure it out then he may need meds for the anger.  So, at least I am doing what I can to try to get this under control.  Like I said, thank you for the reminder that he is just an angry kindergartener saying whatever comes out.
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Avatar universal
Your 5 yr old sounds like a handful. It really does sound like you are doing all you can to resolve these issues. Just don't give up. Also, if you may want to try talking to your 5 yr old about where his anger comes from. Try to place it in terms he can understand. Sometimes younger children don't know how to express their emotions and so it comes out in violent and crazy ways.

My little girl when she was around 5 started to not listen when she came over. She also would constantly rebel against everything I said, and would hit and beat on her brother. While I was giving her a bath I spoke to her about her behavior (her daddy had tried already). She was upset cause her mother had made her feel like daddy never wanted to be there got her. She thought cause her dad hasn't made it to her play at School he didn't love her. She also felt like her daddy loved me more, and that the only bit of love she was getting she was sharing with her brother.

After our talk she calmed alot. My husband and me made sure that she was always reassured that he loved her. We always tried our hardest to address her concerns ahead of time. I don't know if you can get your little one to open up but sometimes even children just need a chance to vent. Also sometimes they need to be shown how to express their emotions.

I pray this and everything else you are doing helps you with your son. Remember that god has you and seek him in your darkest hour. May The Lord be with you,

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