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What should we do, how should we feel about all of this?

My grandson when he was 10yrs old and my granddaughter was 5, unknown to me were touching each other. I never found out till recently, that it became more. The grandson is now 18 and granddaughter 14. Granddaughters father want to have grandson arrested for rape. We, the grandparents found out about this a few days ago. There has never been any other incidents since this happened. What are we suppose to think as grandparents?  We feel horrible for our granddaughter, and the now 18 yr. old. We are in the middle. I would like some input on this situation. If the now 18yr old is convicted of this, he will no longer be a part of our family. Is it normal for kids the age they were when all of this may have happened to be normal actions of kids to explore? We also have been raising the 18 yr. old. He's still in school. We are so stuck emotionally in the middle of this. Our granddaughter is our world also. Please help
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134578 tn?1693250592
Was the 18-year-old molested himself as a child?  I'm trying to think why he would have been acting out with his sister, usually there is an incest taboo that keeps brothers from seeing their sisters in a sexual light.  If he was himself a victim of sexual abuse, I would see you feeling stuck emotionally and in the middle.  If you don't think he was, then it seems to me your sympathy should all be with the victim of the rape and not the perpetrator.  

Talk to a family counselor to sort this all out.  I wouldn't try to brush this under the rug, your granddaughter deserves to see that in the eyes of the people who love her, it is not OK for her to be treated this way.
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Please seek professional intervention- this matter requires the services of an individual educated in the field due to the potential outcomes. Spend the money and get the help.

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