I am saying good bye to the cry out method for now, I am going to give it two more months and try again but right now it is effecting him to much. He becomes so upset during the day that he just fusses and wont let me leave his side. I figure I have 7 months before the next baby is here so hopefully I can have him sleeping in his own bed all night by then... and if not then DH has to go buy a bigger bed for the two babies we may end up with in bed. I didn't do the cry out method last night and DS was so happy and pleasant today.. and i got way more sleep even if i did have to wake up every hour to give him a little bit of a bottle and it was less stressful. I guess this whole thing i have learned no need to push him, I will just take it day by day and get a feel of what I think might work for us. Thank you ladies for the suggestions and the help and words of encouragement.
I am in a similar boat as you so I can sympathize entirely. I know it is rough not sleeping well. My son is only 4 months, so I have not even thought about trying any Cry It Out methods, and like you, I am not sure I want to but I also really need him and me to sleep more, especially now that I am back at work. We co-sleep now but it only seems to be making him sleep less because my boobs are a constant temptation to him and he wants to eat all night long!!
Cry it Out always works eventually but I think that it can be really rough and almost inhumae for some babies. Babies that are super alert, (sounds like your son is) have a really hard time tuning out the environment and settling into sleep - thus the CIO method can lead to getting them more worked up and then wide awake. I am by no menas a sleep expert (see paragraph above) but from what I have read (and I have been reading every sleep book known to man lately), you might want to try 2 things
1) make sure that you give him a really long wind down time - he may need more time than usual to switch gears from awake time to bed time - so try making your pre-bed routine longer (like at least an hour).
2) consider a kinder gentler CIO method called the sleep shuffle (buy Kim West - the Sleep Lady) - Briefly, with this method you stay next to his crib and soothe him (pat his back, sing to him etc) to help settle him down (you do not leave him alone in the room but but you also do not pick him up) and once he is sleeping like this you gradually move further away from his crib every few nights. With the sleep shuffle, you are there to comfort him and he will not feel so abandoned, so some babies do better with this.
3) one other idea is to first cut out the night time feeds - that is, take him out of the crib and sooth him but only offer him water - he will be mad for a few days but you are there to comfort him and he will then figure it is not worth waking up for
4) Finally, you maybe could start more gradual (this is what I plan to start doing in a month or so with my little one) - I will work on putting himself to sleep when he is drowsy but awake once a day - usually the first nap of the day is recommended. You stay next to him in the crib and sooth him to sleep if he needs it - this way he learns to put himself back to sleep but you are there to comfort him. Then the rest of the time, you continue doing what you have been doing.
p.s. - to really do the CIO method, you should not be picking him up AT ALL or he is just learning that if he cries really long and hard, then you will pick him up (and this just makes it harder for him) - this is why it is really hard emotionally to do and it only works if you completely commit to it. I am not suggesting that you should - that is your decision to make, I am only suggesting that if you do choose the CIO, to make sure you do it in the way that will work best and not confuse your little one.
Good luck - let us know how it goes!!
poor mama baby and everyone! I can not hear it, that is horrible for you all. I would just think the longer it goes it will nto work but in your case I hope it does. Is it effecting him in the day like being more clingy?? Henry has slept with me and DH since Sunday when I went out of town and all the family wanted to hold him, he was hysterical!!! Aftertwo nights I just put him in bed with me and he has been doing great and is so much happier in the day. I think I will just give him time for reasureance and it will work itself out. Have you thought of "SIDECAR" It is were you put theri bed next to your so they can still touch you but they are not to close. I hear it works as the baby does not wake up fully and then in turn goes back to sleep faster by patting and such.
One other thing that might give you a lttle comfort since you hav ehad one before, either that or you want to bite my head off,LOL
WIth all baby things this to shall pass!
I am cheering for you and hope things calm down for everyones sake
here is an update for anyone who is still reading this. so far the cry it out method has been hell. now nobody is getting sleep, he wakes up every 1-2 hours to cry and be pissed off. He falls right back to sleep if i pick him up to sooth him and then wakes right back up mad if i put him back down. I am giving it through the weekend to give up on this cry out method before i go back to giving him the bottle or driving myself off a cliff. my 10 year old daughter is exhausted from listening to him cry and she is sleepy through school, i snap at my husband because he cant be around at night to help so that relationship is getting hit hard, and to top it all off now my once very happy son during the day wines and fusses constantly and no longer even takes good naps. The pediatrician said to give it 3 or 4 days and then i guess he magically stops i am assuming this baby might take a bit longer if ever. I will try to come back monday to let you now if it works.
My pediatrician also had me start my son on solids earlier then 6 months. He was actually small for his age (low birth weight baby) and was catching up. She told me the same things yours did about what to not feed. He is a year now, and is a really good eater with no adverse affects from starting solids early. He is a super healthy kid. She said that there are guidelines, but that every child is different.
I also have a bad sleeper, although he is much improved now. I was adamantly opposed to crying it out as well, but found that with him, there was no other alternative. His pediatrician told me that some babies are just like that and he was one of them...he just fought sleep. He too woke up every hour or two.
Here is what we did. We established a really good bedtime routine. A warm bath, story/cuddling, followed by his bottle. Night time bottle was fed in his room, lights dim and with me or my husband rocking him. Once we put him in his crib, we didn't take him out unless he was sick or diaper was dirty, that sort of thing. I would leave him for 15 minutes, then go in, pat him on the back and talk in a very low and soothing voice. No lights. I repeated this every 15 minutes. Did this two nights, and it worked. Now, if he wakes up in the middle of the night, I do the same. He hardly ever does now though, and is a much happier baby for it. He is getting enough sleep.
If it's teething, I make sure I give him advil before bed. I find it works better then tylenol as it has an anti inflammatory quality to it that seems to help a great deal. I also found with my little boy that he likes to be cozy and warm for sleep. Not too warm obviously, but snuggly if you know what I mean. He does way better in a sleep sac then just in his pajamas (I still don't use blankets in the crib).
Anyway, I am by no means an advocate of crying it out, but did learn that for some babies it's the only way. And it is in there best interest as getting enough sleep is really important for them.
I can imagine it must be hard to have a young baby and be pregnant. I wish you well, and hope you get some sleep. It is so important. Take good care.
Guess I will go with my own motherly instincts on the food part. Seems to never be wrong this far and i have a 10 year old that i did the same with. I have never heard of anyone solely breast feeding or formula for 1 year, but if you can do it, more power to you and to do it with two children you must be a milk machine.
I got spotting and a lot of women rely on that as a warning your fertility is returning. I ovulated about 3 weeks after that spotting, then i had one normal menstrual cycle then we were trying to be careful using condoms, but one night we failed to be more careful and ended up pregnant. I knew as soon as i did the math in my head we would be in trouble, guess it's true, it can only take one time haha. took us two years just to conceive our DS.
I asked the doctor to test my blood to make sure i wasn't anemic, and everything came back fine.
I didn't choose to have my children this close, I think its way to hard on my body to be pregnant this soon. Mentally I am no where close to being ready either. I know by 7 more months ill be more ready but right now i am terrified and wished we had taken more precautions to not get pregnant. At least when I am done with this pregnancy I am done for good and I get my body to myself again forever.
I just was going by what the american acadamy of pediatrics guilines as well as the world health organization guidlines.
It is common for babies to stop nursing when you get pregnant too. I was lucky for that not to happen with my 2nd and third children. I actually nursed the 2nd and 3rd when I got pregnant with the 4th. It does take alot though, MIlk can drop from the progesterone hormones. My first set of children were 13,15 and 17 months apart. I am going for another round now, my baby is 7 months.
with my first ones my period started back like clock work at 6 weeks but this time it has not. I thought I had two regular periods this last time but am 5 days late. I also had spotting bright and brown 7 or 8 days ago and thought maybe I O later. IDK I was wondering if you had regular periods before getting pregnant this time with nursing or were tehy messed up like mine are. I would like to activly start trying again but I just don;t know if I am even ovulating! Also make sure your iron stays up. I had low iron getting pregnant so fast and BF. If you are extra tired it may not all be from lack of sleep or an active baby.
you can start introducing foods to a child anywhere from 4-6 months is the general rule, not 6 months+ he was born at 9lbs and has yet to slow down. he is now 22 lbs and 30 inches long.... he is a big kid. (DH was this big as a child as well). I did get the okay form his pediatrician for all the food, (she had big kids as well) she has assured me as long as he shows he is ready then I can give him food. She jsut told me no honey, and no cows milk. He was mostly a breast fed baby but i never made enough to keep up with him. I stopped breastfeeding once I became pregnant he just didn't want it anymore. I think the sleeping habit formed when i was only making so much breast milk at night so he would eat about an ounce then fall back asleep cause that's all i had.
one ounce does nto seem enough to satisfy to sleep longer periods. IDK I have nursed all of mine and they still ate that often but breastmilk is digested faster. I would try to hold him off 10 min longer every feed trying the feeds he does not sleep and will not cry as much first, then go longer after that works for a few days to minimize stress on him. Also is he eating three meals a day?? I noticed you said he eats everything and foods should not be introduced till 6 months of age as milk should be the sole nutrician before a year of age. I would try feeding him food after he takes a bottle as food now is jsut for learning to spoon feed, get acustomed to textures etc.. but not for nutrisional value at this point. THis being formula and BF babies.
My sjust month old does not sleep more then 10 min naps 3x a day and my others were not like this. It may just be his personality for the sleeping but I would try the above for the feeding to strech him out and get him up to at least 4-5 ounces at a time every 3-4 hours
When my DS was teething (not the first 2 teeth, but for about 1-2 weeks before the others came in) he woke up frequently during the night. And he was pretty inconsolable. After he starts teething, we give him a half dose of Tylenol and rubbing baby ambesol (sp?) on his gums right before bed. this helps minimize how much he wakes up during the night - he still wakes up more with teething but it went down to once a night instead of multiple times. He also gets an 8 oz bottle when we are reading to him before bed and we do the same routine every night - read the same books, etc. He recognizes the routine and his tummy is nice and full when he goes to sleep.
Overall, my DS is a good sleeper but he still occasionally wakes up. Teething was tough on him and sometimes we had to let him cry it out - and a few nights he cried for 45 minutes+ (it also becomes a bloody scream if it lasts more than 5 minutes). But we always change his diaper, cuddle with him, put more baby ambesol on his gums if 5+ hours have passed, etc. first and make sure that there is nothing wrong before putting him back to bed.
Good luck! I am 12w pg and I'm exhausted. I hope this is a short stage for your DS.