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1296965 tn?1279835970

How do I stop crying, I don't want to upset my dog.

I just found out that her cancer has metastasized after a radical mastectomy. I know she can pick-up on the grief, but every time I look at her or think of her I start to cry. I know I am crying in my sleep because my eyes are glued shut in the morning. This has been going on for 3 days & she has at least 4 more weeks to live, I hope. She just seems so happy and all I can think of is how much I am going to miss her. Everyone at work has been supportive, I work on th ephone and I am crying in between calls, I cant stop it. Help
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Avatar universal
We are all here to support you in any way we can. Please keep us updated on her condition and how we can support you. Hugs. Judy
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Avatar universal
I think you made the right decision, you've done everything possible, just love her and  continue to give her everything she wants.
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675347 tn?1365460645
I agree with your choice not to go for the chemo. What's the point of putting her through all that for a little extra time? Like I said, it's not quantity of time that really counts, but quality. I know one thing for certain. If I were given the choice of having chemo. for myself, for an extra couple of months of life I wouldn't go for it. I'd rather go more happily and peacefully into that Good Night.

I do kind of know this one. My Toby, who died some years back, had a particularly aggressive form of prostate cancer. In his case it hadn't spread as such, but it was the final blow when the tumor shifted position, or grew, to block his urethra, and he couldn't pee suddenly. (and by that stage no medicines helped, and we did try them first), So that night the decision to let him go in peace was quick. After some really good times together towards the end, when it came time, there was no hesitation. And we were carried along by fate.
But even on his last day he had fun. He had a good walk. He dug in the ground, trying to catch a mouse. He had a good dinner. He had my love.

Believe it, I have a good idea what you are going through. You have my prayers, and my love. You will be strong, and you will be emotional. But you are a good dog mom.
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1296965 tn?1279835970
She has stage 4 cancer, there is no hope for her. She has the most radical aggressive cancer out. The doctor gave her 6 months without chemo and 7to 9 months with it.
I opted not to make her go through the chemo and  just let her live the best she can and as happily as she can until she dies- I am giving her everything she wants.
She had her first sip of beer the other night.
I am going to miss her so much, my heart feels empty all ready.
Than kyou all for your support and encourigng words. Yes I do hold & hug her at night, I guess I do cry while I sleep, my eyes are glued shut in the morning.
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675347 tn?1365460645
This may not be possible, but could you take your annual holidays? So you could spend all the time with her. Some places let you do that, if you have allotted 5 weeks holiday a year, you can take it either in days off, or all at once... (of course I know some places don't)
I'm not saying it would stop the sadness and the unbidden tears. Nothing can do that. But if it were possible to spend all your time with her, you'd enter a 'zone'. Something about that 'zone' makes it all a little easier to face. It's a little bit 'otherworldly'.

Of course you might not be able to do that. Never mind. It's not necessarily quantity of time you have left with her, but quality of time. Get her in your bed at night! Hold her and hug her. Let those tears fall, but don't weep and wail because that kind of thing might worry her. Let the tears fall in her fur, with smiles as well, and hugs and cuddles. Spoil her rotten! Have fun as much as she is able, chasing ball or frisbee, in your garden or on walks. Live right up to that last minute. She will begin to sense her passage out of this World soon, so a few tears will not hurt her, so long as they are with love, not pain. And you stay steady with her routines, and with the words you say to her, and don't linger in pain too long.
Sometimes if I'm upset about something deeply, I cry a bit and hug my dog, and she washes my face. She doesn't get worried. Then I laugh again, and am back to the normal routine for her sake. I think she understands emotion to a certain extent, so long as it's not painful too much, but bitter-sweet. Accepts it, so long as there is a basic atmosphere of some steadiness about me, and her life, and her routines.
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Avatar universal
My heart goes out to you during these difficult day's and the day's ahead. I understand how much you hurting and also scared for what's ahead, but it's really important that you find that inner strenght that you do have to support her, love her and be with her during this trying time for both of you. Make her as comfortable as you can and I truly believe that God will utilize you and the vet to make the most humane act of love for her if necessary and not prolong any unecessary suffering. Our pets do have a short lifespan, but the unconditional love that they have given us is treasured and priceless. I recommend that you surround yourself with good friends and family that will support you for what is ahead and we are also here to just talk when you need us. I will keep you both in my thoughts and prayers and rest easy, it's going to be ok, one day at a time. Hugs, Judy
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1296965 tn?1279835970
You are 100% right about everything. At least at home I can just bend my face over in the sink & wash the tears away at work it is a little harder. I am getting so much support from the people I work with. I do appreciate their kindness & kind words but you are right, the less said the less I cry. I have to keep busy or I start to think about her. I am so emotionally drained, worrying about the operation, then the results and now the out come.
I will keep you all posted I talk to the Oncologist on Monday morning at 10:30.
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Avatar universal
I agree with you 100% about not trying to let her see you upset, but its easier said than done.  We had to put our dog to sleep in February, and the last week of her life I would just look at her and cry.  Finally I had to stop cause I could see the confusion and terror in her eyes, and I realized she didn't need any more problems.  I would cry everywhere but in front of her, and when I was near her I would try to be calm and sit next to her and brush her or just talk to her.  Enjoy every last minute you have, shes is a very lucky dog to be so well loved, and I'm sure she knows she is.  I found that at work, the less you talk about it the easier it is to get through the day without breaking down, as soon as someone brings it up, you loose it, so try to avoid the subject until your stronger.  God Bless, and let us know how its going.
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