Avatar universal

How to know for sure that I have postpartum depression?

I thought I did but I'm on my second medication (2 weeks on prior, 1 1/2 weeks on current) and while I felt better initially with this one, I've been crying for almost 12 hours straight now. I have a really supportive husband, I've told my close friends and they are all trying to help me but it just makes me feel worse. I know that they truly care but I wish they didn't, I wish I hadn't told anyone, I just want to be alone.
My first daughter was great in every way (still is, she keeps me going) and I was worried I wouldn't love the new baby as much but I did, but I loved her so much. Then I started not liking her as much, still loved her but her cry was really annoying and she wouldn't sleep, she woke up every 2 hours for the first 6.5 months until I quit breast feeding. Then she could last 3-4 hours but I couldn't like her more. Every sound she makes is nails on a chalk board and now I don't think I even lover her anymore, I wish daily that I didn't have her and things could go back to before.
I have every support available to me, I've been working a day or 2 a week since she was a month old so I could get some time away, my in laws live in my city and offer to take the kids anytime I need, including overnight, my husband cooks supper a couple times a week, encourages me to get out and do stuff, is great at caring for the kids. But I feel bad making other people hang out with the baby, they don't deserve that and all their help makes me feel guilty - I'm not going to get better becasue I think I just truly hate my life, there is nothing good left in me, like a hollowed out bag of garbage and I don't deserve to get better becasue I really don't even want to.
1 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
Avatar universal
You should consider going to church. Being surrounded by uplifting people will do you good. I remember feeling how you were feeling when my son was 1 yr old . I started having panic attacks and depression. They told me I was probably stressing at home and maybe i had a messed up child hood smh lol. Little did they know that pod can show up anytime within months ,a yr ,2 yrs or 3 yrs. I've been on anti depressant a couple of times but only lasted about a wk or so bcuz of the side effects. They tell you every thing will get better after 4 to 6 wks but I was so miserable. I decided to go to church and study the bible. It really helped me control my ppd and panic attacks. When i had my 6 yr old I went through the same thing . I decided to have another baby this yr 2018 and my last but was affraid to get ppd again. Well what do you know I  m dealing with it again smh. It's true what they say once you start feeling good you put god to the side. It's happen to me couple of times. I stopped serving god 2 yrs ago and now I'm looking for him again smh. Sad but true. This time I attend to serve him the rest of my life because he has blessed mE and my fam so many ways. I hope all this helps. I'll be praying for all of us that are struggling. I've noticed your post was posted 2017. I hope you feeling better now. God bless
Helpful - 0

You are reading content posted in the Postpartum Depression (PPD) Community

Popular Resources
Get information and tips on how to help you choose the right place to deliver your baby.
Get the facts on how twins and multiples are formed and your chance of carrying more than one baby at a time.
Learn about the risks and benefits of circumcision.
What to expect during the first hours after delivery.
Learn about early screening and test options for your pregnancy.
Learn about testing and treatment for GBS bacterium.