My husband has come back for those of you who haven't read my other post. Yet the Friday after he did he had a seizure. Then just this passed Friday he did so again. The seizure was a harsh hit the second time. He lost his DL and ended up returning our vehicle to the dealership. Now he feels hopeless.
His family believes maybe this will show him what a great wife he truly has. I only can pray it opens his eyes. I need him to see that life isn't that bad when you have someone you can count on. He could be on the street right.
Kimberly, I'm so sorry!
Please I urge you to seek help for him.
It is impossible for him to continue on this path.
I know you are a woman of deep faith yourself, but as someone else mentioned, God can only help the ones that help themselves.
I just don't know sweetheart how to express this in a better way, other
than telling you that is very critical. Beware of the martyr syndrome !
Love and hope are great, having him back home instead of him being in the street is safer , but he really needs professional help so he can have a chance in life again! And you too!
I will pray for both of you that you get professional help for his addiction and your co-dependence.
God bless you both!
There is however a limit at which forbearance ceases to be a virtue. 1700's.
My dear Kimberly, the addiction is breaking your husband, as it does break us all... There are so many addictions professionals that are God loivng / fearing individuals. You and your husband will not be alone in your faith if you reach out to all of the wonderful people in place, who have made it their life's work, to help addicts survive active use, and find their way to maintain their sobriety, and live happily in their lives. There will be a learning curve. I believe that is where the fear comes in. All relatioships of addicts will be looked upon when going for help with sobriety. Changes may need to occur. Instead of you praying for strength , you will chose a course of action that will serve to help save your husbands life. You are swirling around in circles, you need to search out the help from an addictions therapist, to help you, and to lovingly help your husband. This is nnot about you turninig your back on your husband, it's about you checking out therapy, believing in it yourself, and promoting it with every fibre of your being. It's what works, and it's what you are both searching for You just don't know what it is until you get there. You must have faith to go through the doors. Alanon, AA,.NA and Addictions therapy will save you both, if you are both willing. If your husband is rigid, you make up for his fear by fearlessly moivng forward. You don't have to give up to help your husband, you need to follow the same plan of so many before you. I know that you are proud that you are a good women, and you think the problem is that your husband may not recognize that., and that's why he's unhappy. This is secondary to the addiction. What he does or does not think about you is not what's happening to your husband. You're husband suffers from active addiction, and only when he is low, accepts help with detox and plans for aftercare is he going to be free. It is more than possible. Nobody wants to be beholden to the type and amount of substance abuse that your husband suffers from. Please Kimberly, read the Big Book and read the founders messages, from Bill W. and
Dr. Bob. They are now in heaven heralding in poor souls that never got well, and souls that did reach out for the life boat that they put together. Please do not be uniformed about the disease or the best answer thus far for the disease of addiction. You see, you have he right idea , good women, it is true that God will bring you to faith. But the faith must bring you to the fix,. It' seems you're looking for a cure, whereas, there is no cure for addiction, there is only remission after a lengthy, dedicated education on what they know of addiction thus far. I hope you get to know Dr. Bob, and Bill W. and countless other heroe's that have paved the way for addicts. There are many good women who stand behind an addict, but the best of them use AA NA and Addictions Therapists to guide them. This is what our good friend Niko has said. These answers are not going to change. Please , take faith in action, for both your sakes?
You can see many here that know the way. But just to pray? That's a limited response to a larger problem I'm afraid. It's a crap shoot whether this will save your husband. The odds are far better that he sees that you are seeking the program for this family disease. Let yourself be his light, to show him the way. Be his beacon in the dark. Show him the way to the rooms of AA. And let him fly there, let him soar......
He's a child , lost in the dark. When you go out to the fields, to collect your child in the dark, you show no fear, you go forward and find the path that other's have left....... I'm sorry you are so sad that you cannot look to him as God like, right now. He is human , he is weak. Don't pray that he's miraculously cured by God's hand. That's how it works, in AA, but it's not that easy. Miracle Faith Healing , is a show on tv. AA and Addictions Therapy is science meets faith, meets courage. You show your commitment to all three, and you will be the one he looks to for true strength. Otherwise, he'll someday see you as being weak i'm afraid. I look back on my family, who didn't want to bother with rehab, or addictions therapy because they wanted a miracle, or nothing. They didn't want to put any work in. It took a long time before i found someone who put me in the right direction, towards treatment. Be that guy Kimberly. That's the guy your husband and his family NEEDS You To Be. Please think about it.