what's the point of living when so sick?

[acker]

i am a step away from care. i'm in a relapse of severe cfs. in bed very most of the day. i can obviously get online and i can get to bathroom.. good.. but my mother is cooking for me. i don't even wash up. this doesn't make me feel too good at all.
i have been worse but i just don't see the point. i haven't worked for nearly 6 yrs. i used to love working. now i have no commitment to live. neither do i have a commitment to die ot kill myself but i wouldn't mind dying - for lack of hope in the future and cause i'm tired of the illness(es).
this is a prayer request and also a bunch of questions if anyone feels like answering.
i don't see the purpose of living if suffering and the most i can do is watch telly if well enough. i'm not convinced this is god's best for me, although it's possible!
i used to enjoy life, and loved to contribute and help others, often excited about the day.

thanks if you have helpful insight. thabks if you can pray. thanks if you can be kind about it. sorry to be conditional.
blessings.

[shugalug]

My heart breaks for you, dear acker. I know exactly what your feel. Been there & sometimes still, can very nearly end up back there if I don't immediately say a prayer. Even if it's just simply saying "Lord Jesus. Help me!" I know that's hard even to do, as I never fully trusted God, but a verse from the Bible came to me in my despair that was the beginning of my renewal of faith. You may know it:
Come unto me, all ye who are weary & heavy-laden and I will give you rest!"
I too, am very ill, & it seems never-ending, but I'm learning more & more to believe God's promises & not listen to the negative thoughts which is satan, the enemy of our happiness, trying to make us doubt we can & WILL be healed if we diligently seek Him, submit our life to Him, keep believing even while we're suffering. God has a plan & when we are ready, He will reward us, 'double for our trouble!' Guilt, depression, tired of living feelings are the devil's way of luring us away from God, to make sure we continue to live in misery. We lose all hope, & contemplate suicide, to just escape our pain. I know! You have reached out here, for prayers. I, too was led here in my despair. It has been the start of my new journey. I have HOPE now, & believe me, this HOPE grows stronger every day, as I learn to trust in God more fully. I'm not 100% there yet, but it's better than being HOPE-LESS by believing the devil's lies! I have even been healed in one area that was a great concern, to do with my bowel. I won't go into details, as your issue is making you suffer just as much. I don't know if you like Joyce Meyer, but when I was at my lowest, I was channel surfing on TV & happened upon her show. The words I heard made me prick up my ears & I listened. It was as though she was speaking directly to me, as it was a subject I was struggling with. I haven't looked back, & watch her on youtube, joined joycemeyerministries.org   If you don't like her, there is are answers for you elsewhere if you try to keep believing. Push yourself to pray, even if at first you don't believe. Press on. It's an effort to do anything, I know, but we must try & make the effort, as there's no escape without even a tiny bit of hope to begin with. God led you here. Keep coming back. I pray you find your way back to the Lord, believing with all your heart, with all your mind & with all your soul, that you will be delivered from this terrible disease. It IS a disease. We can also try to eat healthy, take supps, & believe it or not, green tea I must say, is excellent for restoring the balance in our neurotransmitters in the brain that cause us depression, if even one is out of balance. I was skeptical about it at first, but after trying it every day, I now love it & it definitely lifts the spirits. It helps the GABA receptors in the brain, which release 'happy hormones'. .I pray you will be healed. Your Mum loves you & I agree with what Kimberly said. I'm sure your Mum knows you feel guilty, but she wouldn't want you to feel that way. Just keep thanking her. That's all she wants. Blessings are coming your way, dear!

[acker]

sisters brothers i am blessed you would take the time to pray and take the time to write thank you so much. reminds me that god provides, even answers through servants. there are some things i can say here because we are all unwell "praise the lord" and is too hurdensome for regilar friends and family because of the content and because healthy people just won't understand...
thanks so much friends

[UnsureMS]

I meant eve gave done great advice

[GrainsOfSand]

I will pray and think of you (((HUGS)))

Your mother sounds nice, it's good you're not alone.

Have you tried any crafting? I ask this because I seriously took up sewing when I became disabled and it helps.

[UnsureMS]

Eve, face you some great advice, but I also want to let you know. I have been real bad off for over 5 to 6 yrs off and on. I get dizzy spells and headaches and fatigue and therefore I have to count on my husband to help me around. It kills me to know how much my illness scares him. I too have wondered about why we go through those moments and don't see how that is gods best for us. But I learned in church that sometimes we suffer to feel for others.

You will get through this. Don't ever feel like giving up. The devil has many things he uses as strongholds...illness, depression, anger, guilt are a few. But those are not of The Lord. As eve said speak life into your life. Believe you are better, and trust god has more planned for you, and this is just a small storm that you must strive through. Proclaim what you desire and it shall be yours. Be strong for The Lord made you strong.

You are in my prayers and I know The Lord won't let you down. He has shown you to a place where others have been in your shoes to help you find the strength to move on. If you need info on chronic fatigue syndrome I have some at home my doctor gave me. Plus I am really good at looking things up.

One more thing feel blessed that your mom is there for you. Some people have no one who cares enough to be there. She loves you and just wants you to smile more . So smile and tell the devil he doesn't own you nor your body. May god bless you,

Kimberly

[evewisewoman]

Hi acker,

To be honest, your comments made me rather sad. You see I went through
a very severe depression over ten years ago. I remember how I felt at
that time. What's the point of getting up? I'm safer in bed nothing can happen to me there. In my case that was the depression talking. Please
don't give up on life, acker. My mom used to do some cooking for me
while I was going through my depression. Don't feel guilty. Our moms love
us , after all we'll always be their baby. It took me over 6 months to recover
from my depression. I didn't know what cfs was. Now I do. If by cfs, you
mean chronic fatigue syndrome, I found some valuable info on Wikipedia.
Don't give up. Try and tell yourself everyday in every day I am getting
better. That's what I used to tell myself for over 6 months during my worst
days of depression. I used to leave myself positive notes written on sticky
paper and I used to read them every day. You need to remain hopeful.
New advances in all kinds of conditions are being found all the time.
Be gentle and understanding with yourself. Things will get better, you
just have to remain hopeful and positive. I wish you well, Eve.
My nickname is Evewisewoman on Medhelp if you wish to leave me a
message. Peace be with you and you will be in my prayers.