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1287560 tn?1272216521

42 AND TRYING

Hello, I am 42 years with an adorable 3 year old. He was conceived naturally and we have been trying ever since really for a sibling. We have gone down ivf route(3 times) no joy, get to transfer then just comes away in the 2 week wait. Dr says have better chance conceiving natuarly again. Would love to hear any positive posts on women in their 40's conceiving naturally and any tips on what you think might have helped. I am trying to tell myself it wont happen, basically give up trying and THEN something may happen as i hear alot of stories of women falling pregnant after giving up. I know time is running out , i also take clomid every few months to help me ovulate and it does work as had day 21 test and showed i ovulated on that particular month. Its just getting a good egg i suppose, my best wishes to all of you, melissa in the u.k.  
3 Responses
1481183 tn?1348971061
Hello there,

I am 42 and my youngest is 2. Naturally conceived as well. Ihave never tried ivf or other fertility options. I was advised to go to a fertility specialist when I was trying to conceive my 2 years old. After the tests the doc told me that I could never have antother child on my own .. ever.. I asked if there was even the slightest chance and he looked me dead in the eyes and said no not even the slightest. He laid out different procedures and payment plans in front of us. I decided to go home and think on it. Well befodre I got back to him the following month I found out I was pregnant with no help of anything. I am worried that time is or has run out on me since we have been trying for almost two years. With our 2yr old it only took 8 months. I had one chemical and then a positive at almost 8 months. You know... I never looked at age and never thought it was such a problem until a doctor brought it to my attention with my 2 year old. She wanted to do the amino test. I declined. She asked me if i ws sure because there may be problems with the baby because of my age. I told her it didnt make a difference, and that no matter what this child is mine and I will love it. She looked at me wide eyed and stopped pestering me to do tests. I dont understand. My aunt and grandmother had children over age 40 and never had down syndrome etc. But the doc made it seem like the end of the world and actually scared me a bit. Made me feel as though I would die giving birth because of my age! I have learned to ignore all of them. I go with my feelings. and if it is to be it will and we will have our one more.. hopefully a boy... fingers crossed.. but a girl will be just as perfect. Good luck to you as well Mesissa!!!!!  Last time I checked if i was Oing was around october of 2011. It was positive opk... but decided to stop as it just caused me to think about things more. I never used anything to conceieve before so I thought why try now. Just take it as we go.
938718 tn?1323783514
Hi there!

I'm one of the lucky ones who stopped trying and got pregnant (at 43).  My FSH went up to 13.5 and we ran out of money for fertility treatments, so we had no choice but to go 'au natural'.  When I got pregnant, I would put money on it that the docs at the clinic didn't think it would work.  I'm now 30 weeks and everything is good so far.

When I first saw the OB for this pregnancy, it was all doom and gloom about stats for downs or other genetic abnormalities.  I guess only time will tell.  We did the initial screening -  NT scan & bloodwork -- and it dropped my chances of downs from 1:48 to 1:3900.  Regardless of the chances, my dh and I had a discussion about ds and decided that no matter what we were going to keep the baby -- I mean, you don't get many chances (if any!) to get pregnant in your 40s, so if it meant life with a child with a disability, so be it.  My friend has a son with ds and he is the absolute love of their life.  He is an absolute doll.  

We did the same thing as 4mel4 and told my RE that there was no question of aborting the fetus, so she dropped it.  She said she had to tell us and offered us CVS (the invasive test that's like an amnio but is done much earlier in pregnancy), but then that was it.  Granted, we've known her for years now (we started on the infertility clinic roller coaster when I was 38) and we conceived 4 times, had one baby boy and are looking forward to meeting our second at the end of April.

They really need to do something about how they treat 40+ women looking to conceive.  I know it's 'advanced maternal age', and I know that the chances are significantly reduced compared to a woman in her 20s, but there must be a balance somewhere between hope and reality.
938718 tn?1323783514
Hey MEL4141,  what worked for us was choosing an end point to trying.  We were not going to stop until I was either 46 or there was evidence of menopause.  I stopped responding to fertility drugs so it was no longer an option.  While I typically responded to Clomid, it was starting to thin my lining so we had to stop.  FYI, there is one medication -- Femara -- that they apparently use in older women to get one good follicle/egg that might be an option for you.  That's what we were going to do.  I was going to go on Femara and do cycle monitoring for perfectly timed ovulation & intercourse followed up by progesterone suppositories (which are supposed to help with implantation and reduce chances of early m/c in older women).  That was the least expensive and least invasive way for us to manage.  We both agreed to do it because we so wanted a sibling for our son.  I say "we" because, while I had to take all the drugs, he had to put up with all of the side effects and agree to be 'available' when called, as it were.

I wish you the best of luck, whatever you decide to do.  Keep us posted!
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