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1033736 tn?1264005094

Anyone out there planning a home birth?

Hi.  My husband & I are planning to have our baby at home in May.  I've been reading a lot of natural birth books - 'Bradley', 'Calm Birth', 'Birth Space, Safe Place'...

'Ina May's Guide has been excellent as I work through all the birth stories.  I can't wait to get to the nuts & bolts.

I feel that childbirth is a very spiritual event - possibly even transformative.  Even though I want our whole family (small) to be a part of it, I am having some questions about how to keep the attendance under my control & certain participants at arm's length.

Has anyone else been through this?  Although I want my MIL to be involved, she can be a bit demonstrative & overbearing at time & I'd like to keep her sequestered in a designated part of the house as I roam freely.

Any ideas?

Fugitive
18 Responses
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951946 tn?1263565383
Oh Fugitive, I am so very sorry to hear about your loss. I am very happy that you are encouraged to keep trying. I reacted very similarly to my m/c as well-- I felt very hopeful. I also cried a lot, wrote a lot in my journal and grieved. It was definitely a process, despite feeling hopeful-- and you will conceive again, I am sure of it. Thinking of you. Please email me if you ever feel the need.
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1033736 tn?1264005094
Thanks everyone!!  I will still be around TTC very soon!  We got lucky, right off the bat on the first try.  We are not discouraged!!

I will also be posting my story.  It was a very profound experience & I am still processing it.

Fugitive (Nancy)
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Avatar universal
I'm so very sorry this happened.
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377493 tn?1356502149
I'm so sorry to hear that.  I am glad your not discouraged and I truly wish you well.  
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1039620 tn?1272594004
Oh, hun, I am so sorry for your loss.
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1033736 tn?1264005094
Although I miscarried yesterday.  :(  We are not discouraged!!

We will try again & have a home birth!!

Thanks!
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951946 tn?1263565383
Great article just posted by Dr. Christiane Northrup about normal vs. medical birth!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/christiane-northrup/c-section-or-natural-birt_b_323422.html

I call this a great article because it is well-cited and backed by medical research-- so much better than just another editorial!
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951946 tn?1263565383
Oh I wish we lived in LA or thereabouts! We are behind the Orange Curtain, about an hour south. ;) When I can't take it anymore, I head up to Venice Beach for the day. :)

Thanks for the recommendation, I will add it to my list. BTW, I know two women here locally who had both their first and second children unmedicated at home with absolutely no issues. Best of luck and keep me posted as you go along!

There is a beautiful film on YouTube called What Babies Want, narrated by Noah Wyle. His wife had a home birth with great results, first child. The film interviews several doctors and midwives. I also like the site MyBestBirth.com. They have video clips of Cindy Crawford and a few other moms who gave birth at home, talking about their experiences.

Nobody has said it was easy, but many women say that it was peaceful and so much less stressful than their previous hospital births. Every birth is different and we cannot predict or control how it plays out, but we can plan for the best and hope that it all goes smoothly. As you said, low-risk women have better outcomes out of hospital!
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1033736 tn?1264005094
Awesome Ruby!!  All my best to you!!

I found 'Birth Space, Safe Place' to be a great, quick read to get your mind in the right place.  My husband is reading it now.

Where do you live in SoCal?  I lived in LA back in the early 90's & spent a week in Malibu this past summer.  Oh I miss it so much!!

Fugitive
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951946 tn?1263565383
I am having a home birth universe willing, and I cannot wait! I can't think of a more special way for our little person to enter this world.

I am WAY too chicken to give birth in a hospital. Our midwife has 20 years of experience and a 6% c-section rate, whereas the c-section rate in our county is now at 50%, and I'm sure the rate of medicated birth in a hospital setting is very close to 100%.

We plan to do the Hypnobabies childbirth prep course and go drug-free.

Our midwife has agreements with OBs at every local hospital (one within a 10-minute drive), so if needed we will opt for transport and/or surgery. Otherwise, we'll be in the comfort of our own home with our lovely birthing team (and all of their medical gear at the ready just in case. :))

Ina May's Guide to Childbirth is fabulous, and Spiritual Midwifery is a fun read for all the 70's lingo and photographs. Both have wonderful, uplifting natural childbirth stories galore, and great details about the nitty gritty of how to prepare. Please let me know if you find any other resources for natural childbirth prep that you like.
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1033736 tn?1264005094
Thanks Amanda!

I know that it is difficult for some to understand, especially since we've been raised to envision childbirth in a hospital as the ideal environment.  For some it is - both desirable & necessary.  I completely respect that, entirely.  I also except that I may have to birth in a hospital if I develop complications during pregnancy or during labor.

A midwife, with any degree of integrity will not allow a mother to plan a home birth if she (the mother) is not physically, mentally, intellectually & spiritually capable of it.

I am so happy that we have been allowed this option as may women do not have any other choice but hospital birth.  I feel that I have been given the opportunity to allow my baby & my body to dictate this birth as was the original design of things.  It is hurtful as well as maddening when I receive reactions that suggest that I do not care about the health & safety of my baby.  It is very much to the contrary.  I want my baby to come into this world in a calm, safe, warm, & loving manner - alert & drug-free, surrounded by family & friends.  I increase the chances of accomplishing this by being in a familiar place with all familiar faces - the ability to move around, take a walk in the woods, play with my dog, eat, drink, cuddle with my daughter (in her bed & mine), make-out with my husband in private, & use yoga & meditation to get into a good mental space.

To me that is the best emotional state for birthing, as the baby can absolutely feel the energy that is around & coming from the mother.  If I were to be in a hospital, I would be nervous & afraid - especially with the very real possibility of having to fight for my right to be intervention free.  If I have fear, my baby will feel that & be afraid too.  I believe in the very real ability of emotional & mental issues to become road-blocks to labor progress.  I want to avoid that if at all possible.

If I have to transport, I will do so with the knowledge that it is necessary & best.  I will not be lying on a cold table in the OR just because I didn't keep to the hospital's time restrictions for labor.

Just as many folks put things in god's hands, I trust that god has given me intuition along with the ability to birth a child that will guide me in making the right decision for my baby & my family.

Thanks!!
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377493 tn?1356502149
I don't know anything about home births.  I am way to chicken to not be in a hospital.  I do respect your decision though and wish you well.  I know someone who had a home birth (water birth actually) with her second child and all turned out very well.  Good luck to you.  Amanda
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1033736 tn?1264005094
Thanks Meli.  I appreciate your concern.  I did a lot of research too.

My 1st c/s was not emergency.  It was planned since they convinced me that I could not deliver a breech baby.  I am at low risk for a rupture.  The risk of rupture increases with interventions - pitocin & epidurals.  Many hospitals don't allow VBACs at all.  This isn't because VBACs are risky, it's because VBACs with interventions are risky & if your labor drags even a little bit when your in the hospital they will want to "help you along".  Their impatience is what raises the risk.

Childbirth is not dangerous - Unnecessary medical intervention in childbirth is what's dangerous!

Look at the infant mortality rate of the U.S. compared to other industrialized countries.  We are among the worst!  With all of this superior medical technology??  The countries with low infant mortality have a much higher percentage of home births.

Hospitals are dangerous for low-risk mothers & their babies.
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296076 tn?1371334474
you are having an at home vbac??? OMG.... have you read how long you have if you rupture.. there will be no time to get you to a hospital before the baby dies...  wow  I did soooooo much research before my vbac.. they are so risky...   so many horror stories...  I hope all turns out well for your babies sake..
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1033736 tn?1264005094
Thanks Victoria.  I'm glad to hear that you had a positive experiences.  

A lot of my friends have had positive hospital experiences & some have had awful ones (including me).  I had an unnecessary c/s for a breech presentation.  I wish I knew that I should have had an opportunity to attempt a vaginal birth but it was made to seem like I had no choice.  I had never met the OB who sliced me.  I don't remember ever speaking to him at all.  He never once came to my room after the surgery.

I was strapped to the table therefore was unable to hold my daughter before she was rushed away to the incubator for wet lungs.  Then I had a bad reaction to the spinal & thought I was going to die.

I may be able to accept this more if I was allowed to labor and attempt a natural birth.  But now I'm angry...
and scared of going back to a hospital.
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1039620 tn?1272594004
I think giving birth is a very personal experience and where and how is a very personal choice. I don't have any experience with home births, but from everything I've read they are just as safe as a hospital birth. I think bad and unexpected things can happen in either situation. When my son was born he was delivered in a hospital by a midwife. He was also facing up instead of down. In no way was I pressured into have a c-section or using a vacuum. I delivered him completely natural with the help and encouragement of my midwife. There was a lot more pain and discomfort in my back, but I wouldn't have changed it for the world.

As long as you are comfortable with your decision and all the necessary precautions are taken, then I hope you have a wonderful, blessed experience.
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1033736 tn?1264005094
One of the most important parts of planning a home birth is the in case-of-transport plan - back-up.  I live within 10 miles of 3 hospitals & within 15 miles of 10.  The midwife comes with oxygen, an IV & everything needed for stabilization in case of an emergency.

Studies show that mid-wife attended home births are safe for low-risk pregnancies.  There is no evidence that shows that hospitals are any safer for low-risk women.

It is my belief that unnecessary medical interventions cause more complications & lead to more c/s.  I am choosing to birth at home in order to be in the environment that I feel will be the most conducive to a calm, quiet & safe birth.  More complications occur in the hospital than do at home.

If my labor is long, I will have the opportunity to rest, walk or use natural & relaxing methods to progress.  I won't be shadowed by a pitocin happy OB staff wanting to "help" me along because I'm not moving fast enough for them.  Pressure does not help stalled labor.

I trust my body & my midwife, who has been doing this for 25+ years.  If she says it's time to transport, we go - no questions.

It is a sad fact that so many women don't see home birth as an option.  It is certainly not for everyone but I for one have never seen pregnancy & childbirth as a medical condition.  I see it as a human condition & a potentially incredible, empowering experience.  I think modern times have taught us to distrust our bodies & try to escape this positive pain just as we try to escape the negative.

When we unnecessarily place ourselves in the current hospital environment for childbirth we sacrifice power & often times choice leading to all the unneeded interventions that our country is so famous for. This is a factor in our obscenely high c/s rate.  That's what I believe & it is also true.  

I don't believe that home birth is the right choice for everyone, but it is the right choice for my family.  Where some people fear a home birth - I fear a hospital birth.
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296076 tn?1371334474
I'm sorry but I just think that at home births are a bad idea..  I have three kids.. the first was born sunny side up and needed to be vacuumed out.. the second had face presentation after 36 hours of labor and needed an emergency C and the third (vbac) was born with the cord around the neck and needed O2... I was 22 for my first, 28 for my second and 35 for my third.. What will you do if your baby needs emergency help and you are at home?  what if there is no time to make it to the hospital?  Why risk it???
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