Sick of Women Csection Judging

[2015Harmony]

So sick of other women judging me because of a csection. For most it isn't a choice, it's NOT more convenient, it's not easier (recovery *****) your NOT a bad mom if you have one. It's a serious surgery! I went on a birth hospital tour & asked what the protocol for csection was & as usual one lady said, "since I'm not choosing to have a csection what can I do to....". I get so upset, EVERYONE & EVERY BIRTH is so different. With my 1st my water broke at home, went to the hospital, they put me on pitosin to move labor along, never did- might I add I had NO pain meds for 17+ hours-labor all natural besides pitosin which increases contractions immensely. They came in I never dialated they said the baby and I were becoming in distress. I cried-my baby may not survive! So a csection. My son was rushed to NICU- I couldn't hold or see him for the first 12 hours-the drs were fixing me making sure I was stable. My mom had me & my 3 siblings at home(2 in hospital). I was told if I was able to get prego again,  csections would be best. 2nd one was great-I held and nursed her as soon as I could sit up. Now my 3rd-I'm excited and terrified. It's surgery & there can be serious complications. I'm so sick of women making me feel like I need to defend or explain why I am high risk, csections are necessary, blah blah. I can't do a vbac, because of my conditions. I think it's great if someone can. But why all the judgment. I fear I may not survive, I could die on the delivery table and never see my kids again. And I have to waste my time explaining to women about the reason for a csection verses my fear and concern of being able to hold my newborn.

[ecilef]

I totally agree on this post. I had my csection with my first. I did everything i could to have a normal delivery. Eat this those that. Walk, swim, exercise, almost everything. Follow all the advice they gave me. But none of those worked. I was rushed to hospital due to emergency csection. Most of my relative judged me so hard and compared to my cousins and their friends who endured the normal delivery. It was like what the heck i did everything! Having csection is more way harder when it comes to the recovery part. I was placed into emergency csection due to my baby's umbillical tied to her neck and loss of blood. People will jugde us but we should never give them a damn because this is our own life at risk not theirs. Now i have no option but to go for another csection with my second. I'll be happy tho if it means my baby's safety. Chin up to all mums out there who endured csection!

[erin_loren]

People are insane.
I am a grown woman. I know lots of smart, healthy, happy people of all ages and I have no idea rather they were born naturally, or if their mother's had an epidural or had pitocin assist them in the birthing process, or if they had a c-section. I also don't know rather or not they were breastfed or had formula. If they ate fruits and veggies. If they had all their shots.... blah blah blah... why?!?! Because it simply doesn't matter. We all end up the same happy healthy people no matter how we get here. I have no idea why people get so caught up in judging other people in something that doesn't matter. Get a life.
Don't feel like you have to explain yourself to anyone. It's not their business. And of they get off on being a judgemental old nag then that's their own problem not yours.

[Sonia1101]

Wow. I read your post and it is exactly my story, I'm on my 3rd  pregnancy too and happy as I can be, I have a new obgyn and have my first appt day in the 26th and don't know what she's going to say bc I had 2 previous c-sections because I did not dilated and I'm so affraid that she will want me to try to have a vaginal birth and for now that's my only concern, C-section for me is great and like you said recovery hurts as hell but when I saw my babies I think is  worth every sensation and pain goes away. If you don't want to explain why you are having c-section don't do it, I don't give explanations to people that don't know my condition and just want to bother with how great they did with vaginal.

[lieschenb]

Where i am from you can get an elective c section if you can afford it. That being said, most people can't. No one looks at them funny or says something riduculous. This natural birth thing is definately a usa thing from what i read on this app. Every person is different so stop judging. But to my disbelieve a LOT of woman think that smoking a joint while pregnant is OK! Yesterday i saw a post about a breastfeeding mom smoking weed..and people get judged for taking pain medication or not breastfeeding

[Edelawit]

I'm having a c section and I dare anyone to criticize me for it. Every Mom needs to do what is right for her. MelB317 is absolutely right.

[2015Harmony]

Thank you to all of the ladies showing support. I truelly feel every birth is so different and special. As long as baby and mom are healthy in the end that is the most important thing.

[Chima7]

What an odd thing for people to judge you about. The method by which you birth your baby has exactly zero effect on anyone else, therefore what is the point of them judging you? If I were you, the next time you feel like someone is being judgmental toward you about your c section,  tell them they are such a major weirdo for saying that to you because it has nothing to do with them. Don't be afraid to call them out on their stupidity.

[MelB317]

I don't know why people think how a baby is born is so important...no matter what that baby is going to come out, being a good mother and raising you're children to become good human beings is so much more important...be proud that you put all your babies needs before your own desires...you've done everything in your power to make sure your babies are safe and healthy along with not risking your own life...to be honest I have been much more concerned over all the posts from women demanding a "natural" birth with complete disregard to their baby's welfare...I really think this generation of women are too jaded when it comes to child birth...a few hundred years ago tons of women and babies died in child birth and it was all natural back then!

[RockRose]

Who are you talking to,  Sabby?  

I don't think you have any idea what you are talking about.

[sabbylopez]

My water broke with my first and I was in labor for 24 hours refused getting an iv, epidural, and pain meds. Had healthy baby girl left 24 hours after birth. The women that don't have a choice in a c section don't deserve to feel guilty. It isn't their fault. You could have choose no pitocin therefore your baby wouldn't had gone in distress therefore leading into a section.

[RockRose]

I think things have changed recently.  It used to be,  NO ONE would choose a c-section because it was HARD.  EVERYONE wanted to go vaginal because it tends to be easier.

2015Harmony,  I don't know if you've been diagnosed,  but you sound like me.  I have "platapoid pelvis",  which means there is no way I can push a live full term baby out of my pelvic bone structure.  It's as simple as that.  The opening is too narrow for a full term live baby to pass through.  

Say that,  and see what people say back!

Best wishes.

[MrsJames64]

I never planned for a C-section either but as i was getting very sick very fast it was a necessity. So yes, no judegment here!! Every birth is different and as AnsweredPrayer74 stated you truly don't owe anyone an explanation! I pray all your future deliveries are smooth & easy and recovery is the same. :)  

[BaneSprout1]

I agree it's fine to vent. You can only control how you react to what you perceive as judgment. The lady at the hospital talking about not choosing a C is totally focused on herself though not you. Is it an insensitive remark under the circumstances? Yes. But that's her deal. No one is owed any explanation for your life. So they shouldn't have the power to *make* you feel anything.

[Answeredprayer74]

Its fine that you got this off your chest...but you owe Nobody this explanation... We all have to do what's best for us...you know your body...you are responsible for making the best and safest decision for you. Stop explaining your decision...you're grown and you have nothing to prove. As long as you and your baby are healthy you could click your heels together and wish her or him here...it's your business... Take care...God bless you. :-)

[2015Harmony]

Never knew his mom. Another friend tried a vbac and her uterus ruptured during delivery. Again everyone and very birth is so different. Stop judging ladies.

[2015Harmony]

To add to my rant above- the husbands cousin died in child birth-it was a vaginal birth at the hospital they couldn't stop her bleeding. She died before she held or saw her son. Her son is a healthy little 3 yr old now but he will never know his m