Heartbroken...

[firstladynyl]

I prayed and prayed. Practically begged God to bless me with the one thing to complete my husband. I had 3 girls and one son prior. He had 3 girls prior. We hadour 1st baby girl together last year. Im 38. High risk. 6th and last pregnancy. 13 weeks. I get the call today with the gender revealing. And my heart fell to the floor when she said its a "girl".  Another girl...no chances of me ever being the one to carry his son.  The perfect man. Husband. And I cant give him that. Knowing that deep down he was soo hoping to have a son of his own.  I couldnt stop crying.  I know its not my fault or determination but the fact that I really wanted to give him that gift makes me feel like a looser that I cant and never will after this...

[alid32]

I Think you're overacting to some of what was said. And again,  no one said you were going to kill your baby.  I'm unsure of where you got that. But I'll agree with you that you're entitled to the intensity of your emotion the same as any of the rest of us. And what is upsetting for some may not be upsetting for others. But anytime you post something be prepared for opinions that don't fall in line with your own. Such is life on the world wide web. Good luck to you mama:)

[firstladynyl]

I thank u all for the encouraging words.  But let me ask u. Does everyone feel the same tyoe of pain? Emotion? Do we not have different way of expressions? My choice of word was my exact emotion at the time I posted so dont understand why some came at me the way they did.  I too have lost children. I too have suffered lossed and never said I was ungrateful.  But I definitely expressed why TO ME it was heartbreaking. And alot of women on here in my same position understood. Im sorry im my choice of word wasnt appropriate for some but I didnt come on here to be judged or scolded by my choice of grammer. I have yet to go ona female on here because she expressed how she feels.  I treat everyones pain and emotion with respect. Thats what type of person I am. And when I said I didnt say I would kill my baby or didnt want her would justify why people would then say YOUR UNGRATEFUL. UR EVIL.YOUR SELFISH. HOW COULD U.etc  is all im saying.  As pregnant women.  Emotional that we are should be comforting not attacking eachother.but thank you to those that did understand and showed me words of comfort. Be blessed.

[slm39]

I've reread all the posts and no one has said you were going to kill your baby!! I think you have to understand everyone has an opinion and you don't have to agree with any of us. Please don't let this upset you so much. If you had put 'disappointed' or 'so upset' then I doubt you would have had as many comments. 'Heartbroken' was what upset me. Please look after yourself and good luck with your pregnancy.

[JulieKuhnert]

None of us said you were going to kill your baby.  What we've said is you need to put your life in perspective.  You are damn f'ing lucky to have the kids you do have. To be heartbroken ( not merely disappointed) is selfish.  There are women much off worse than you.  How will this baby feel when she learns her mom was heartbroken because she was born a girl?  Maybe my husband is odd, but he would prefer a girl, he doesn't hold much water with the thing about a man needing a son.  Son or daughter, what does it really matter? ! You're having a baby!

[alid32]

*hoping to give

[alid32]

I think the wording of your post is why some people responded the way they did.  Also I didn't see anyone attacking you.  I think it's natural to be disappointed- this is my last pregnancy as well and I was going to give my husband a son as well. He's the step dad to my son, and we have one daughter together.  We also list two pregnancies a few years ago.  When I found I was having another daughter I was a little disappointed myself. I really wanted him to have a son (of course he thinks of my son as his anyway). Of course I was thrilled that she was healthy, but It took me a day or so to give up my dream of a boy.  I think the use of the word heartbroken is what threw people. When most of us think of real heartbreak it involves something catastrophic,  like a debilitating handicap or death or loss. Imo, the way you came across was a little over the top for the situation. It didn't sound like you were grateful to have another or thankful at being able to conceive at all. I'm sure you love your kids and I hope you have put the disappointment of your situation into perspective. Good luck and wishing you a smooth pregnancy mama:)

[firstladynyl]

DID ANY OF YOU WHO ARE ATTACKING ME ACTUALLY READ WTF I WROTE???  I NEVER SAID I DIDNT WANT. DIDNT LOVE. OR WAS GONNA KILL MY BABY FOR U PEOPLE TO ATTACK ME.  I CLEARLY SAID I AM HIGH RISK. IM AT AN AGE I CANNOT CONCEIVE AFTER THIS PREGNANCY I ONLY HAVE ONE CHILD WITH MY CURRENT HUSBAND PLUS THIS ONE. AND THAT WHAT BREAKS MU HEART IS NEVER HAVING THE OPPORTUNITY TO EVER GIVE HIM A SON. SOME OF YOU ARE SO QUICK TO ATTACK AND JUDGE AND WANNA ACT LIKE OFF ONE POSTS YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ME AND HONESTLY YOU DONT! I HAVE GIVEN MY LIFE TO ALL MY KIDS AND LOVE THEM ALL UNCONDITIONALLY. MY 21 YEAR OLD GIRL IS A BEAUTILFUL CHURCH GOING BEAUTICIAN. MY 19 YEAR OLD GIRL IS BEING SCOUTED BY SEVERAL TALENT AGENCIES BRCAUSE SHE IS GORGEOUS AND CAN PLAY ANY INSTRUMENT BY EAR AND HAS A VOICE OF AN ANGLE.  MY SON IS A 13 YEAR OLD NATIONALLY RECOGNIZED JUJITSU FIGHTER. MY 9 YEAR OLD GIRL IS ANOTHER STAR IN THE MAKING!!! THE BABY IS 1 BUT ALREADY FOLKS SAY SHE IS AMAZINGLY BEAUTIFUL.   I LOVE ALL MINE AND HAVE DEDICATED TO ALL THEIR TALENTS AND GIFTS!!!

[pania58]

Who realy carez about the gender. I know you love your baby regardless so focus on that rather than what you havent experianced. Good luck much and indeed Hatbroken dose make it seem like youve llost your baby. Cgin up gurl n Gid bless

[Tanjat]

I agree with the others,  this seems silly.  Based on the title,  I was fully expecting that you lost your baby.  I'm one of those mothers who was unfortunate enough to have lost my baby 2 hours after giving birth.  I can fully relate to the lady who just lost her baby shortly after birth because I was there 6 months ago.  Please be grateful that you have a healthy baby on the way.   I would have done anything to keep from losing my baby.   He should've been 3 months old now or 6.5 months uncorrected.  Im really not trying to make you feel bad, just trying to put things into perspective.

[JulieKuhnert]

I read about that woman who had 2 hours with her son, that is truly heartbreaking. Not getting the gender you want isn't heartbreaking, it's life.  Be happy enough with the fact you're able to get pregnant at all, you could be infertile.

[Newmummy657]

Wow just be lucky your having a baby!!!!!!!! So many couples can't and would give anything to have their own child boy it girl... Can't believe how selfish this is! So are you going to tell your daughter you cried for days when you found out she wasn't a boy? Get over it, just be glad your able to have a child together who cares if it's a boy or NOT! Sorry but I just do not understand. Really it would not care if I only ever had girls or boys, as that is what it was suppose to be like! And for that matter "God" is not actually something that can grant such stupid requests!!!!!!!

[ShannyO]

I do not mean any disrespect. I understand not getting what you truly wanted can be disappointing, but to say it's heartbreaking kinda blows my mind, regardless of how many babies you already have. The reason I say this is because I recently read & replied to a mother who unfortunately lost her son two hours after his csection birth. That is heartbreaking! That poor mommy went through everything we're all going through, but she doesn't get to bring her baby home. She doesn't get to breast feed our change diapers. Please be thankful that you're pregnant, regardless if boy or girl because you'd be devastated if anything happened to that precious soul living inside you.

[cmoore69]

The man's sperm is what determines the sex of a baby. You can't g

[mag131]

I am probably one of many women who do not care of baby sex. I am happy for my second healthy boy couldn't be more happier. Be bless you are carrying a healthy baby. We do not get to choose it just chosen for us..

[loveof8]

I also are hoping for another little girl, we have 5 boys 3 girls, and I know my kids would love another little girl.But I know in my heart it will be a boy so have come to the conclusion as long as it is healthy that is all that matters.

[Bellacabadas]

Just take it as a Blessing as Long As everything is good and baby is healthy, I'm 39 and expecting my 6 baby and it's a Boy I will have 3 girls and 3 boys. But every time I've conceived I feel so bad and heart broken because my older Brother never was able yo have kids of his own he sterile and they tried Ivf about 9 yrs ago with no success and I have 6 blessings that God Has Blessed Us With!
Well God Bless You And Ur Family! ;)

[JulieKuhnert]

I understand you're disappointed, but really, you should be happy that you've been able to have children at all. There are women out there who try for years, any would give anything to just have one, you have what. ..4 children, pregnant with your 5th?And you're whining about it being a girl, be happy God blessed you with children, you could be like the many people out there who are infertile.  My husband an I are going for a girl, but you know what, I will be over the moon no matter what gender they tell me. It's been 2 years we've been trying.

[mondaysgirl]

I think the only people who truly understand your position Hon is those who have walked in the same shoes we know you'll love this child like u do the others, you can't help how u feel and not being able to voice thus without fear of judgement is unhealthy, sorry your feel I g like you are good luck in your future XX

[irinasmb]

I'm sorry, but I really can't understand this.  I find it a bit unfair to all your girls.  It's like mommy & daddy weren't satisfied with me so they kept having more babies.  That can be detrimental to a kid.  Kids CAN and WILL pick up on things like that.  What if one of your girls ends up detriment in something great with her life that is beyond beleif? Cure a disease? Saves lives?  Invents something that will revolutionize our lives?  Would it really matter what gender she is?  It breaks my heart when ever I see couples keep having children just for a certain gender.  And it's not fair to the siblings. So sad.

[firstladynyl]

i understand that clearly, even he said he feels like he failed me and that its not my fault, but it still doesn't make me feel bad that I can't share that experience with him you know..:(  I will love my child regardless, I have amazingly talented and beautiful girls God has blessed me with, but doesn't shake the fact that this time I really wanted a boy.  wish folks would just understand, I dont regret my child for one minute.

[firstladynyl]

dang almost had a bit of hope, but thanks anyway, truly appreciate it

[meme1isme]

Its his sperm that determines that anyways. U really shouldn't feel like this.

[knufrio]

Yes the blood tests are accurate as they determine the chromosomes. Some people get told on ultrasound that early though and those are often incorrect so early in pregnancy.  

[wayfunmommy]

If you were told gender via a genetic blood test, it is more than likely correct.