Irrational fear?

[Osmum]

Hi there,  I'm expecting my 2nd child in a few weeks.  Recently I read about a woman who died during labour as a result of an amniotic fluid embolism.  I made the mistake of googling it, and reading horror stories, and now I've developed an all consuming fear that this will happen to me.  I know it's rare, but I just can't stop thinking about it.  I'm not even eating properly due to the anxiety it's causing me.  Is this crazy?  Should I be talking to my dr about prenatal depression?  This level of fear and dread doesn't feel normal.

[April162010]

Adgal, if it wasnt for you i will be goign crazy still..great that you stop me...lol

everything ios going well now and i am not giving a bad though to anything, Its good you tell your stories because that would have be me if i dont read them...lol

the only thing righ now i am keeping firm is not to buy anything made in china until the baby is around 2 years old...lol

other thant that anything that the doctor says i will ask  "whats the worse" and then they said "oh nothing is so bad ..we just preventing..."..yeah right...lol

[adgal]

I lived in Mississauga for a while.  My parents are in Walkerton...not all that far.  I am in Calgary now.  And we are having one heck of a winter..as are you folks.  Crazy this year.

It is pretty funny to read it now, but at the time I was half out of my mind.  And it most definately started during pregnancy.  Many of the ladies on this forum can tell you that I was convinced almost weekly that I had had a miscarriage or something awful was going on.  A shame really, because I never got to enjoy it the way I could of.  I wish I had been as smart as you and sought help earlier.  Sane is good..lol.  It's great you are so self aware.  

[Osmum]

Haha.  The ER story made me laugh, but I can empathize.  I was pretty paranoid with my son too.  I constantly checked on him at night to make sure he was still alive.  I was also worried about overheating, so I never let him wear warm pajamas.  Diaper and a swaddle.  Period. I also live in Canada, so I can appreciate the humor in ac on in January.  I was on anxiety meds as well, and they kept me reasonable, I think.  I'm pretty sure the Dr is going to suggest that we revisit the medication at this point.  I do have a history of anxiety and depression, so I'm getting a niggling feeling that I'm on the cusp of something not great here.  Thanks for making me laugh.  Out of curiosity, whereabouts are you in Canada?  I'm in Mississauga, Ontario.  

[adgal]

Oh let me tell you about nuts..lol.  I mentioned it got worse after my son was born...well, I became fixated on SIDS.  I could never accept he was going to be fine.  One of the things I read on the SIDS website was that babies getting to hot while sleeping could cause it.  So, I kept the air conditioning on and slept him in an air conditioned room in just his diaper.  Oh, btw...this was in January/Feb. and I live in Canada!  Poor baby.

It came to a head for me when I rushed him to the ER for a cold when he was 7 weeks old.  They showed me how to suction his nose and tried to send us home. I refused to leave, stood in the middle of the ER yelling "keep him safe"...oh yeah.  They finally admitted us, and of course I then demanded he be kept on a breathing monitor.  The pediatrician gently suggested to me that I be checked for PPD. I was, was diagnosed and put on anti anxiety medication.  Life was soooo much better.  I am great now, and my son is happier for it.  But I was a crazy person!!!  

So don't feel bad for even a second.  Those hormones combined with those scary internet stories can do wild things to us.  I am sure you will hear more stories...glad you are seeing your Dr.

[Osmum]

Thank you for your kind words.  They are helpful.  I'm making an appt with my Dr.  This is definitely affecting my day to day well being at this point. Thanks again.  If anyone else has felt as nuts as I do, I would love to hear from you.  It's reassuring to know I'm not alone.

[adgal]

Hey there!  Sorry you are having so much anxiety at what should be such an exciting and happy time.  I also had a lot of anxiety during my pregnancy that got much worse after my son was born.  I know many many here have also had high levels of anxiety, fixated on all sorts of "what can go wrong" issues.  It isn't rational, at least I know mine wasn't, but it is very real and should not be discounted.  

In my opinion a certain level of anxiety is normal.  When it becomes almost an obsession and is impacting your overall well being, that's when it's time to seek help.  I didn't seek help until after my son was born, and will always regret the fact that I didn't get to enjoy my pregnancy the way I should have...I was always convinced something was wrong.

Lot's of us go through this, and the good news is there is help available.  Your not alone, and there is no shame!  Congrats on your pregnancy, and I wish you a healthy and happy remainder of it!