PREGNANT - unplanned at 42 !!!

[Ecologic]

I did not think this could ever happen to me, but here it is: I am pregnant at 42.5 and this was not even planned!! It was a one time thing. I discovered it this week and I am still under chock, I can't believe it.

I have a beautiful 15 months old baby boy and it took 4 full years to conceive him, I delivered him at 41.5. I had 3 miscarriages as well. The first 2 years of trying to actively conceive, I did not get pregnant once: unexplained infertility...

On top of that, I have only one working ovary. Recently I had 22-24 days between my periods. And almost no symptoms anymore during ovulation time. And I stopped breastfeeding a month and a half ago, though my periods came back a year ago but we were careful until this one time. So yes hubby and I were not careful the other day but I reassured him by telling him that there was about 1% of chance I could get pregnant... Wrong!!!

I am really scared, we had not made up our mind about having an other baby and were actually thinking not to have an other one as raising one baby can be stressful... I don't even want to think about raising 2 babies that would be 24 months apart!

I thought I would share my story here. I really think that the less you focus on being pregnant, the more it happens! Not sure if this pregnancy will go OK or not, I am taking it day by day.

[Annabella5]

any updates on this thread?

[adgal]

Fantastic news!!  I have been watching for your updates. I am so excited for you and your family!!  Congrats my friend and happy healthy 40 weeks (well, I guess only 32 1/2 left to go!!)

[nola0805]

Congrats!  That is great news.  Benoit will get a little sister or brother - how much fun.  I hope things are going okay on the job hunt.

[Ecologic]

News!
I had my 1st ultrasound today... and the little unexpected bean is a tenacious one: we saw the heartbeat and everything looks OK. Measuring 6 weeks 6 days. Amazing!!

We are getting used to this 2nd baby, even though my job situation is far from ideal. Hubby is relieved there was only 1 baby, me too lol!

[xrayz]

I new I was pregnant when I got my job as an xray tech but I didnt tell them until I had been here a few months. I have been here 9 years now! :)

[Ecologic]

Thanks ladies, I am indeed very stressed right now. I hope it won't hurt the baby.

Christine: I agree it is best not to say anything about the pregnancy if it does not show. I am sure there is a lot of discrimination against pregnant women. I hope I get interviews before I starts showing...

[ChristineMP]

I know how you feel regarding the job search! I finished nursing school in May and passed my boards in early June. When I started my job search, I was very up front about the fact that I was pregnant and would need to take most of November and all of December off. One job was pretty much going to hire me pending passing my background and when they found out...nothing. Not a single call back.

I really had a delema. I am a nurse and feel that honesty and trust is an integral part of what being a nurse IS. Omitting such significant information from my job search process really went against the grain for me. But, after almost 2 months of searching I finally gave in and DIDN'T volunteer the information. I was hired right away and have been there a little over a month. I plan to tell them later this month.

This way...they can see that I am a REALLY good nurse and worth the inconvenience of having to fill my shifts while I am on leave. I still feel bad about not telling them up front but I really needed to start working...

Luckily...I am a big built woman anyway and unless I am dressing to specifically show off the bump, no one can tell. (I went to the Motherhood Maternity store Tuesday with my first full paycheck in the bank and bought some maternity clothes and afterward, for the first time in the pregnancy, had a stranger ask me when I was due! I was wearing one of my new maternity outfits...so excited!).

Best wishes for you in your job search!

[nola0805]

So sorry to hear this - I can imagine the stress.  I agree with adgal - you will come out of this in no time and even ahead.  I remember you thinking about looking for another job with less travel involved.  So while the timing may seem terrible now, it many be a huge blessing in disguise.  Wishing you tons of luck in the job search - just throw on a lose fitting blazer and you are good to go!!!  Hang in there!

[adgal]

Oh no.  I am so sorry.  I have no doubt you will land on your feet..I suspect you are a pretty impressive person in real life as well...but the stress right now with everything else is the last thing you need.  Sending you all sorts of positive thoughts and hoping for a quick resolution for you.

[Ecologic]

Cosmic forces are against me this month: I have now been laid off.... (my company was recently purchased). I am the breadwinner in our family so really not good. I am not even 6 weeks and I already feel like I have a huge belly, I worry now about going to job interviews with a pregnant belly...

[nola0805]

Fantastic news!!  I had cramps the entire first semester (felt like menstrual cramps) - I was told it is your uterus stretching.  And pimples can just be a side effect from pregnancy hormones (may mean that this one is a girl!!!).  Hang in there and try not to worry - I am sure things will be fine.  Keep us posted.

Regarding your husband, I think returning to the therapist is a great idea, as is a fresh psychiatrist.  I hate to see anyone suffer when there might be better help out there.

Grow bean, grow...

[adgal]

Excellent news!!  Can't wait to hear the happy results of that ultrasound.  

[Ecologic]

News: I learned today that I am still pregnant, so far so good my HCG levels are doubling nicely. Now we wait for the 1st ultrasound, always a scary moment!

[Ecologic]

Hi Nola: yes I am happy to be pregnant now! But also very worried about a miscarriage, I have similar symptoms to my miscarriage 3 years ago (cramps Friday and now a huge pimple... had a similar pimple at 5 weeks). I'll know more tomorrow but I am now stressed.

Hubby has been struggling with depression for years, it became worse in the past year or so. He has a psychiatrist that handles his meds and a therapist. The therapist is very good, he has not seen her in a while, I'll encourage him to make an appointment. The psychiatrist is not very good, the good news he that he retiring this month and hubby will see someone else... he will certainly speak about his meds with the new psychiatrist!

[nola0805]

I have been meaning to write for so long (but have been so so busy).  

I know that this was unexpected and that you were not quite sure if you could handle another one despite wanting another child. So I think that this is so perfect - it takes the decision out of your hands and gives you a little miracle - and I am so happy for you.  It is great that your numbers look good - I am praying for a very sticky bean.

Regarding your husband - has he struggled with depression previously?  Who is handling his medications?  His pcp or a psychiatrist?  I might suggest a second opinion with another psychiatrist.  I also agree with Adgal and highly suggest adding therapy to the mix, especially cognitive behavioral therapy.  

I like your idea of an au pair - that sounds like a great solution for helping your husband feel less overwhelmed.  This might really minimize any worsening of his depression.

I am so excited for you.  Good luck this weekend.

[Ecologic]

Thanks Adgal, I'll definitively pass along the medication name to my husband. Such a hard disease to manage! In his case, he had job and health problems and then a baby: that was too much for him to manage. Funny you mention what happened to you with the other psychiatrist, my husband had a similar experience here with a mormon psychiatrist that made weird religious comments to him. He did not go back.

Christine: he had dropped the dosage (Abilify) but was still feeling tired. On top of that he started to take a blood pressure medication that made him tired as well. He is on Prozac right now, I don't think it's the best medication for him.

Well I have embraced my new pregnancy now! Unexpected but welcome, and now I really hope it sticks! But I have some weird back pain on one side, I'll be repeating the 48 hours HCG test this week-end...

[ChristineMP]

Congratulations! I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. I know an unexpected pregnancy can be a shock.

Has your husband tried changing his dosing schedule? If a med is working but causing day time drowsiness, perhaps take it in the evening? Has he added a second med...taking two meds at lower doses sometimes works better than increasing the dosage on a single med.

I hope he keeps looking for the right medication for him. I know when I was having issues, I tried a few different meds and med combos and found that Effexor XR worked really well for me....but it took 1 1/2 years to get there!

[adgal]

I tripled with my early HCG's with Ryder.  And as you know it's just him!  I don't think that is super uncommon.  

I was (and am back on) cypralix.  Has he tried that?  I know reactions are different for everyone, but I have had no real side effects from it and in fact my energy level increases as I don't have that down in the dumps feeling.  I know what you mean about finding a good Dr.  I am seeing a therapist now I like, but the physciatrist I saw initally (who supposedly specialized in PPD) started asking me to pray for him.  Now, I am a believer, but that is not the time nor place and it creeped me out.  Needless to say I didn't go back.  I like the pyschologist I see now much better...has he tried that route.  I know, this illness is a tough one.  I hope he finds something that works for him soon.  I wouldn't wish ppd on anyone.

[Ecologic]

Just had my 48 hours HCG results, they look good: 67 then 203 - 4 weeks. They actually tripled... and they remind me of my results 3 years ago when I was expecting twins (naturally as well): the early numbers had also tripled - unfortunately I lost both babies later in the 1st semester. Now I am a bit scared that I could be expecting twins!

Adgal: it's indeed great my husband is getting treatment but I don't think he has the best treatment, he still goes through ups and downs and that worries me. It is so hard to find a good psychiatrist, his doctor tried various medications but some of the side effects were so bad (being sleepy all day) that they were useless.

[adgal]

Well, the fortunate thing is you now know what to watch for with your husband.  I too had post partum and know that if I do have another, it will be easier to recognize the problem earlier.  It's great that he is getting treatment.  I always say it's the mark of a strong person that they can acknowledge something is off and do something about it.  

I can't wait to hear about your HCG levels and am keeping everything crossed for you.  Looking forward to your updates!

[waitn838]

congrats!!!!

i have heard other women sharing stories similiar to yours.....they think they cant have kids, unexplained infertility and when they stop trying so hard to make it happen, it happens naturally.....it truly is a great blessing

i am preg again and my daughter is 12 months and i have a 7 year old son....found out at 8 weeks i was having twins....im still completely overwhelmed but at 21 weeks its time to start preparing for these little guys

new adventures await us :)

congrats again

[Ecologic]

Thanks ladies, I am a bit less stressed now: I am getting used to the idea! I think it's great that my son will have a playmate, he is super social and loves kids.

I am just worried about my husband: he suffered from post-partum depression when Benoit was born, it was tough at first. He takes medication but is fragile. And I travel a lot for my job, hubby ends up being like a single father at times, I have a hard time seeing him alone with 2 young babies... if the pregnancy sticks either I start looking for an other job or we hire an au-pair!

I am hoping the pregnancy sticks, I am doing a 48 hours HCG blood test, I should have the results Tuesday.

Good luck to you all, life can be full of surprises!

[peppypeep]

You are so blessed to have had this happen.  So many women on here are over 42 and are desperate to make happen what you did all on your own.  Be thankful and go ahead, have your baby!  All children are work, but it is all for a great purpose. Besides your little one with have a playmate and sibling - a very important advantage later on in life.  Good luck to you and your hubby and don't be afraid of having two babies - its not like its twins!  :)

[Kricket212]

How exciting for you.......  this is wonderful.  Here's to a happy & healthy 9 months.