Hi there,I am new here

[shon123]

Hi there,

I am new here . Nice to meet you all.

I am 41 and just came back from hospital after d&c, my baby did not have heart beat at week 16. they thought it stopped at week 14, I waited till week 18 and did the d&c just now.

It is very sad and I feel empty in a way...it sad to come there preg and wake up not preg.

My doctor wants me to wait 1 cycle before trying to get preg again, but my husband and me would like to start right away as soon as the bleeding will stop.

I am wondering if there any other moms out there with similar condition as mine, that would be kind enough o share with me their experience, and what advice they got from their doctor as for when to start again.

I really want to start right away, but maybe it is too risky ,I don't know, and my next appointment is just in 6 weeks, so I am trying to figure out by myself...

Any info would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks.

Sharon

[YvetteY]

I'm sorry for your miscarriage, especially since it wasn't an early one.  You had all that time to get excited about it!   It's tough.  

Here's my TTC advice for after miscarriage d/c.  First of all don't push yourself to start TTC after you stop bleeding.  The hcg may not even be out of your system at this point.   I imagine you're getting a post-op visit of some kind.  Find out to see if hcg is out of your system or how much is left at that point.   Technically once hcg level is down to zero then you should ovulate within 14 days.   So definitely use OPKs at around day 10 or so.   Then proceed with TTC efforts.    It may take some time for all the hcg to get out of your system, especially since you were so far along.  

You dont' have to wait a cycle, but it makes things easier as far as giving the doctors a LMP date and being able to determine when you're going to ovulate.  

Take care!

[rubyinparadise]

Sharon, I am so very, very sorry for your loss. I understand completely the desire to want to try again asap. A lot of women do get pregnant again right on that first cycle. I will share with you that my experience was, I got in with a good naturopath right away, and we started working on nutritional & herbal support for my healing process, as well as doing hormone tests.
Well, the way my hormone tests came back on those first two cycles, I personally did not ovulate right away, though thanks to nutrition and acupuncture, I did have two beautiful cycles right at 28 days.  
So... it took my body three cycles for my hormones to rebalance, and then on cycle 3 I got pregnant again. :)
It was also a bit of a roller coaster process with grieving, probably because my hormones were all over the map. I would feel perfectly fine, like I was over it, then I would be bursting randomly into tears. Once I realized it was grief, and not just me going crazy, then I was able to move forward better. All I will say is be very kind to yourself and take very, very good & gentle care of yourself physically-- I was amazed how much this helped me to recover.

[ita17]

I wish I would have done that this last time.  I bet I would have gotten pregnant right away.
I think a lot of times they also tell you not to because a lot of the time, you are still sad & emotionally are not ready, but I felt ready!
So happy you're doing well!

[adgal]

I'm so very sorry to hear about your loss.  I have lost a few now as well.  I was always told to wait a cycle as well.  This time around I got pregnant immediately following my last miscarriage, no cycle in between.  This pregnancy is the furthest I have gotten and so far all is well.  My OB told me they tell you to do this primarily for dating purposes.  However, all my losses were first trimester and I am not certain if second trimester is different.  I agree with Jen, you might be wise to go to the ask an expert forum, or seek a second opinon from another Dr.  Best of luck to you!

[Pum]

I'm sorry to hear of your loss. I didn't wait after my miscarriage but am not pregnant and this will be cycle 3 (if you count the first one). Some people do get pregnant first month, others not. I now think it is for the best to wait one month as your lining will build up normally. Time was of the issue for me (41) though.

Take care your yourself physically and mentally.

[40smama]

Bless your heart - 2nd miscarriages are soooo hard!!  I've had both - 1st and 2nd trimester m/c's - the 2nd one was far, far worse.  

I don't have much advice about when to start ttc - we had to wait quite a while to try as I had to wait until my hcg numbers went to zero (another story).  I've heard conflicting things - some say to go ahead and start before your period starts and others say to wait three months.  If it were me, I'd probably wait one cycle and then start.  You don't want to take too long to start but at the same time, maybe your body needs to heal a little more before starting all of this again.  This is only my opinion - you can also ask the ob on ask-the-expert forum.  You pay $22 and then post a question  I've noticed w/this expert that she gets back to you fairly quickly & will give you her best medical advice which is up to you to take it or leave it.

Best of luck to you!, jen

[Juliaschill]

I am so sorry to hear this, I don't have any advice about trying again, I did have a m/c last Jan but I did not even know I was pregnant and I m/c naturaly, I was not planning on having another baby so i did not ask about trying but they did they me no sex for 6 weeks due to riske of infection, I am sorry for your loss and wish you the best of luck, Julia

[ita17]

I am really sorry about your bb :(  I had a missed mc also in Feb.  I was 11 weeks, & it was VERY VERY VERY hard.  I don't know if you have ever had a DnC before, but this was my first (& hopefully LAST!)  although it was my 3rd mc.  But the day after my DnC I felt pretty good, I was grateful that it had all gone well etc......
BUT this is a big FAT BUT, the next day I was in severe depression that lasted almost 3 days. ( not normal for me!)  I'm thinking the sudden change of hormones was crazy!  Cuz thats how I felt, literally.  It was very different from the other 2 that I mc'd naturally.  
I just wanted to let you know, in case your feeling not like yourself at all, its very strange, but expected.

About not waiting, well to tell you the truth, my OB told me the same, wait one full cycle.  I wish that I hadn't.  I know your body is healing, & that does take time, but I have heard of many women trying as soon as they can & are successfull.  If I had to do it all over again, I would have tried right away.  My DnC was Feb.5 '09 & I'm still not pregnant.  2 weeks exactly from my DnC I had the strongest ovulation EVER & I wish that we would have tried.  If I was younger I can see waiting but I was at the end of my 39th year & time is an issue.
Don't stress too much!!!