I want to hold my daughter and might not have a choice

[Lauren_victoria]

Found out the news today I've been dreading for weeks. They told me my daughter won't make it to 22 weeks and they are shocked she is alive still.. I'm almost 18 weeks and knowing I'm going to lose my baby is devastating can't even explain how I'm feeling. One thing I've wanted ever since finding out that she might pass was a chance to hold her.. Today I've been told when or if she passes in womb I won't be allowed to hold her that they won't induce labor they will send me for a d&c. How can I not have a choice? I want to be induced and have her vaginally and I want to hold her!! Is this true that I don't have a choice? I can't go on knowing I never got to see my baby's face. I just need a moment with her even if she isn't alive..

[Lauren_victoria]

Yes I'm starting to see almost every other mom in my situation had the choice I don't understand why it was told to me I have no choice. I feel as though this Wednesday on my appointment I'm going to tell them I refuse to do the d&c. I don't see how they can force that on me but we will see what they say.

[sablea]

I had a loss at 20 weeks. I was able to have him vaginally so i could hold him and take pictures. Make sure to ask your dr about other options b/c a d&c is not the only choice.

[ccooke001]

My sister lost her baby at 16 weeks. She was induced and had him vaginally and she and her husband got to hold him and take pictures. I'd talk to your Dr, if he won't budge I'd find a different Dr.

[Lauren_victoria]

And thank you ladies for your answers it's helped me see I should have a choice.

[babydupree]

I lost my twins at 15 weeks. Had them vaginally by induction after going in for a check up and found no heart beat. I opted not to hold them at first but they stayed in the room afterwards and I was able to see them when I was ready. You may need to get another Dr before she passes that will grant you your wishes.

[babyberry000]

Your Dr works for you, you pay to them. They need to take you into consideration! You can always get a second/ different opinion. See a midwife or different ob instead. Keep asking someone will be willing to help in this difficult time. Don't overwhelm yourself but hire a Dr that will listen

[Babycoco2010]

So if they say you can't have your baby naturally why not wait till your 20 witch is only 2more weeks just so you can have that moment you want and need for closer an get to meet your gourgous little one ?

I am so sorry for your loss

[Lauren_victoria]

I begged them to let me deliver her and they said they can't induce labor and risk me not dilating and then having to do a unnecessary c section. I have had 2 children vaginally already and I'm sure with this one being so small I wouldn't have to dilate to a 10, 5 would be ok I'm sure. I can't believe I might not ever see my child..

[Jayden25]

I would strongly suggest talking to your Dr again and letting them know how this is going to impact you and that your wishes are to have her naturally and to be able to hold her and get photos of your sweet precious baby girl.
I'm so sorry you are going through this. I've lost a child too but way too soon to even hold I can't imagine what you are going through.

You have every right to request how you would like to birth your baby. It is your emotions that are going to be impacted not theirs. If it isn't a risk to your health or lively hood I don't see why they wouldn't allow the precious moment you are asking for.