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Avatar universal

Pregnate and not married

Before I got pregnate we talked about getting married  but now I bring it up now that I want to get married before the baby gets here. Now he is saying he doesn't  want to get married because of a kid and he wants to know He wants to spend the rest of his life with me. I just feel like I'm waisting my time with him by the way we've been together for 3 years this makes me feel like he just doesn't know but I just want to go get my own place and just co-parent......am I over reacting?!?? I NEED HELP!!!!!!!!
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Avatar universal
My bf/i dated 2yrs b4 i got pregos with our first at 20. He wanted us to move in together and very supportive,and wanted to get married,but i refused. Our original plan was i graduate college, he buys a house,  and than we marry @25! U dont want to force a wedding or leave him bc he doesnt want to get married right now.  Let him be the one to make the move,  be happy hes supportive. Plus a baby is not a good reason to be married it can wait till rt time. Long story short,i got my AA at 23, we got engaged at 22, and married a yr later
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
My bf/i dated 2yrs b4 i got pregos with our first at 20. He wanted us to move in together and very supportive,and wanted to get married,but i refused. Our original plan was i graduate college, he buys a house,  and than we marry @25! U dont want to force a wedding or leave him bc he doesnt want to get married right now.  Let him be the one to make the move,  be happy hes supportive. Plus a baby is not a good reason to be married it can wait till rt time. Long story short,i got my AA at 23, we got engaged and married 3yrs later n two yrs married.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
When I had my son me and his dad were only dating 3 months then I got pregnant.  He was only 16 at that time and we stayed together and got married 8 years later and now we been married for 3 years now together for 11 years in all now on our second that's a girl. Everything happens for a reason and if the two of you are meant to be then a day you both want to get married on will come. Good luck and congrats
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Ok we'll were you guys engaged at least?
Helpful - 0
7058746 tn?1393435420
We've been together for 8 years and wanted to get married this passed May in Vegas. After we found we were pregnant in December he wanted to get married right away. I told him no because I stress out way to much and I'm not putting stress on our baby it's bad for her. We agreed to start planning when's she's close to a year old. He understood. Maybe thats how he is feeling a baby and wedding can be stressful planning and getting ready for both. I know I would be if I agreed to married right away.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
He probably hasn't changed his mind. His feelings are just intensified BC now there's a baby to worry about. We forget that men go through BIG mental /emotional changes with a baby on the way, they just don't verbalize it. He may just be overwhelmed with the thought of both. Just ease into a conversation (:
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thank you guys for all your advice it was we'll needed I was just at a place where I wanted to cry because before he knew he wanted to be together now it's a change of mind but I will have a conversation about everything
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I would actually respect the fact that he doesn't want to get married just because you are pregnant. I understand the importance of it to you, don't get me wrong. I went through the same thing withy husband, although I we went expecting a baby we had been together for 6 years and I had been pressing the issue for like 4. I of course took it personally, threatened to pack my **** and never come back. He finally got honest with himself and me on His reasonings why he didn't want to - scared of failure, didn't feel worthy, etc. I just think that 90% of the time men are terrified of marriage especially because most of our parents got divorced. We've noe been married three years this month and he admits its the best decision we ever made. Something changed in him on our wedding day. Just love each other through it and always support each other. Because marriage is really all about respect of different opinions. You don't need the stress right now anyway. Best of luck
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I'd talk to.him About it. Ask why he suddenly changed his.mind. if he still doesn't want to then its your choice to leave if you'd like. Maybe he is just scared. Having a baby is a big life change and getting married is too. I was with my hubby 2 months (best friends for 7 yes) when we knew we would eventually get married. So we started trying to concieve thinking it'd take forever but.it.took a month! So we started dating may i got pregnant in july and we got married in October I was almkst 4,months pregnant. He wanted a big wedding but we bought a house(we couldn't afford a.big wedding) and.I told.him I wanted the baby's bracelet when he was born to have his last name not.mine. so we did a cute little ceremony. And we have been married almost two yes w baby number 2 on The way. Kinda stinks having no honeymoon but we are.going.to Tuscany in 3,yes for our 5 yr anniversary thanks to the in laws. Moving out is a big step if I was you I'd make sure your very clear with him first about your feelings and his intentions. But I wish you luck.
Helpful - 0
8475475 tn?1403476630
Relax and breath. I think you are. If he's being supportive of the pregnancy then that's all you should be worried about rivht  now. guys get super stressed when it comes to weddings and a baby. You don't want to push him away either. You should sit down and put it all on the table calmly. Hope it works out for you.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I'm in this position as well, been with my boyfriend for 6 years and were "friends" 4 years prior of becoming an official couple. We've talked about marriage many times, although we both have things we need to work on I would have preferred to be married before children. I'm not rushing into marriage because of the baby but i have put an official date on when we need to be engaged by or I'm walking. My reasons are not because of the baby but because i have standard and  vision of how i want my life to go that i have strayed awat from. Sorry i couldnt offer solid advice
Helpful - 0

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