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Avatar universal

Unhappy abt baby gender

Just left the doctor and found out I'm having a girl. I never wanted a girl and instantly I felt a lose of connection with the baby. Normally I'm very happy n sending the ultrasound pics out quick but I personally haven't looked at them myself. All my life I imagined having a son because honestly motherhood can be scary and ive helper raise my nephews. Seeing my female cousins grow up has been a disaster in my family. I just don't feel like I can be a great mother 2 a little girl. I'm so unhappy and upset right now its baffling smh All I want to do is cry but unfortunately I have to hold off because its time for work. Just want to know what am I honestly experiencing.
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Avatar universal
I am sorry but you DID KNOW GOING INTO PREGNANCY IT IS A 50/50 for gender right. I totally understand disappointment because I have five girls and on pregnancy number two I was hoping for a boy. I am expecting baby number six and finally it's a boy. Honey you are on baby number one and have not felt true disappointment yet, that comes once you have suffered through five or more pregnancies and still don't have the gender you want. I have rough pregnancies and risk my life each time I have a baby, I kept trying because my husband and I wanted a boy.. be happy and if you really want a boy try again.
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10858973 tn?1416663532
Unfortunately, you don't get to chose just like some women don't get to choose to not be able to concieve. I can understand some disappointment but emotionally detaching from baby is a bit extreme. I'm assuming you are a first time mom. If you still feel like this closer to delivery, consider adoption, someone will be able to without bias to gender. I dont mean to offend you. Sorry.
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Avatar universal
I agree we are all here for a reason, we are here for advice and support from other mums, its oknto feel this way, im sure many people do, they just dont say it out loud, I wanted a boy first, I just liked the idea of having the older brother first to protect the younger sister, I was upset at first but it didn't last long, I was greatful to be able to carry a child its such a blessing, and trust me, a mother daughter relationship is the best thing in the world. She is my rock my, best friend, as my mother is to me! I would not have it any other way.
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Avatar universal
How am I being judgmental MRS_MP3 when all I said was I agree with someone.I am and always will be a grateful person no matter what you need to re read my comment because I said nothing judgmental and all I said was I agree with someone. Make sure you address the right person because that's how drama gets started!! That's why I am getting so tired of this website and these messy ladies got something to say about others and not reading and always want to find a reason to argue with someone.
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Avatar universal
I'm a first time mom & I wanted a girl so badly & of course my boyfriend wanted a boy so on my 20wk scan I was praying for a girl but was disappointed when she told me I was having a boy. For a few weeks I told my boyfriend I wish we were having a girl but after that I grew so happy because I thought of the positives & how he'll be a mama's boy. I adore him now & wouldn't dream of having a girl now. (Maybe in the future) but not for this pregnancy.

& I had a 4d ultrasound & he looks just like me which made me even more excited! The reeling will pass eventually & you'll feel the excitement.
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Avatar universal
^^^AMEN!!! I felt the same way when I found out that baby #2 was another girl. Believe I love everything about having a daughter but wanted one of each. I think it's just because society says that that's the "perfect" family. When what it's really about is giving that child all the love you have no matter what gender. But yes I completely understand the disappointment, I was there about a month ago. And honestly as the days passed the more excited I got to be blessed with another healthy baby girl! Don't let any shame you for feeling the way you do! Everyone is entitled to their own feelings. It doesn't make you any less of a mother because believe it or not it's pretty common as you can see many of us have felt this way! You'll adjust Mama and it won't take very long :)
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Avatar universal
I was just thinking reading this..do you think that finding out before the baby is born is what could be the problem?this time the father and i (seperated) felt closer after finding out it was a girl..he said it made it more real etc..but on the flip side when you dont find out the gender and you give birth that love your baby is so powerful and you are so happy to have the baby in your arms..maybe not finding out takes away dissapointmsnt..(just a theory...i have no idea really) my friend has three girls..and when pregnant with her third had a huge strop in the ultrasound and didnt even get a photo after they told her it was a girl..she said that within two hours she had come round and started buying/ordering all things pink..and she seriously adores her little girl..also (sorry long post) my mum has a lot of issues..abused asxa child and has a drink problem which has worsened since her abuser (my grandad) has been charge wiith the abuse etc..theres things my mum has said and done to me I could never do to my baby..but you make the choices on how you bring up this baby :)
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Avatar universal
Listen here Tavi12 u need 2 find another post 2 post negative things on. I'm sorry ur unable to carry a child full term but those are issues or demons that you have to face. I'm not tryna bring you down abt it but seriously u need to keep ur negativity to yaself! Its obvious that u don't understand nor see where I'm coming from but obviously the other mothers do because I'm doubting myself to be a great mother to a little lady I'm bringing into the world. A major concern is having a healthy baby and believe me this little lady is very healthy, all the tech could say was wow she's so healthy. So again u wanna be negative please take it elsewhere. And to all the other mother's thanks so much 4 all your support, it did jus take a minute for it 2 sink in that what my boyfriend and I planned can't be but it can definitely be something better! Again thank u all 4 ur support and understanding and I apologize 4 Negative Nancy.
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Avatar universal
I can understand the disappointment but tell me r u going to let ur female cousins raise ur little girl? Or r u like ur cousins?If u believe u can be a mother to a baby boy then u can also be a mother to a baby girl.all that baby needs is love and a good role model.just give all the love u've planned for a boy to the baby girl ur carrying. Hope u get the connection with ur unborn baby girl
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Avatar universal
You
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Avatar universal
Who's passing judgment Mrs_MP3!??
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Avatar universal
So judgemental...I understand there are women that are waiting for their blessing to come their way in the form of a baby, but that does not change the way other moms are feeling nor does it limit their desire for support on the things that is important for them.
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Avatar universal
My husband and I honestly was hoping for a boy because we have two girls already.  Once we did the gender ultrasound and it was another girl we instantly fell in love with her.  I'm sorry you feel the way you do but hopefully that will change.  You may need to speak with a counselor or someone if it's so bad you want to cry and became disattached because that's not healthy.  They feel what we feel and like it or not she's coming
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Avatar universal
I agree Tavi12
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8650265 tn?1421565413
Shame on you for being rude in someone elses time of need..
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Avatar universal
I go Friday to try and find out what I'm having. I'll be 15w 5d. I want a girl and I will be devasted if it's a boy even tho its what my husband wants. I have a daughter already. She will be 1 wednesday. She's my world.
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Avatar universal
Maybe it's just me but when I see posts like this I don't understand how you can be so upset over the gender of your child I've had 2 miscarriages and I want nothing more than just to have a healthy child the gender never really mattered to me I'm going to love my baby regardless if it's a boy or a girl
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10404685 tn?1418830427
Awe can we all be more supportive of each other? All of us are hormonal and going through a lot of life changes. I don't think it is necessary to say she is selfish for wanting another shower either. I am on baby number 5 and every time, my family has insisted on throwing me a shower. I know so many women who have had 3 or more babies and a shower each time.
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Avatar universal
Why would you have another baby shower??  One yes two maybe after that it's just selfish..
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Avatar universal
That's actually sad for the ladies who just want a healthy baby. Some can't get pregnant some have health issues or birth defects and others have miscarriages way to make them feel worse..
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Avatar universal
Sorry you feel that way hun. Try to relax and think about all the beautiful things baby girls bring to life.   Boys are awesome too but girls rock.  I'm expecting my second baby but it's a girl this time around.  I wanted a boy so my son can have a partner in everything but I got my little girl and I'm also thrilledabout her
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10404685 tn?1418830427
I had 3 girls back to back then finally a boy and now a girl again. You will naturally love your child no matter the gender. My sister wanted a boy so bad and ended up having a girl. She says all the time she couldnt imagine life without her little girl now.
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9445847 tn?1408059755
I had a boy first and my boyfriend has two girls from a previous relationship. I wanted to give him his first boy and when I found out it was a girl I also felt detached. I feel so guilty and ungrateful because I'm lucky to bare children and I'm taking it for granted.  I've come around a lot since I thought about the things that are going to make my relationship different than with my son. I had it hard growing up with my mother being an addict.  I was never close to her so I am scared. I think about how much different I am than her and how I will promise my baby girl I will not raise her like my mom or anyone else for that matter.  You WILL be a great mom.  Having a girl is hard,  I can totally relate.  Just keep your head up,  think about what you're gonna be doing different than what someone else did rasing your nieces. That baby will love you more than you know.  Once you see her face it'll change.  She's so helpless and when you hear and see her crying for you your heart will melt.  Think positive my dear.  ♡ :) sending lots of love and hugs your way.  
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Avatar universal
Well, the good thing is that it's ur first,  so maybe the next one will be a boy :)
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