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access after birth...

Ok so here's the slightly awkward subject. I'm no longer with bumps dad. When do you think is the right time for a newborn baby to be staying elsewhere. I don't think it's right that it's from birth I think it should be when the baby is well adapted into its own surroundings first. When would you say... :/
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Avatar universal
While he's on paternity leave I told him he can stay here for the 2 weeks he's off. I think It's all dependant on the wee one really. I said to him what if the wee one doesn't like feeding from me am I to phone him every couple hours when she's due a bottle so he might end up needing to stay longer. I don't think it's right that she should be passed around all the family as he works full time and works on call every 2 weeks so she wouldn't be with him then so she would be passed around the grandparents while he's at work and then between them working as well. I just don't think that's right when I'm off and she could be settled here and he can come and go as much as he likes for work.
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Avatar universal
He is equally the parent as much as you and I find mothers think of them selves alot (not saying you are) but put your self in his shoes. I think dad has just as much right as you and the early the better as baby needs that bonding time with dad to.. And will need to adapt to dads surroundings just as much as yours. Babys do sleep alot and if you're not comfortable at first with over night sleeps then allowing him time between feeds would be fair . Also another idea is if baby is bottle feed or you could express dad could stay at your house once a week with baby and you could stay with family. If hes willing to be there let him.
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Well at least if you do breastfeed your new one you'll have a reason that a man might understand not to send baby for visits.
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We don't want to go through courts. We get on as friends so should really get on well when the wee one arrives. Just on relationship terms we are not compatible. We tried to make it work for the wee one but ended up not being able to tolerate each other. So I felt it was best to call it a day so we can at least remain friends. Just a tough one to call. He is quite stubborn and set in his ways though so getting through this access thing I think is going to be tough. I just want what is best for the wee one but don't want to sound mean either
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*went places with dad*
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I had my baby's dad come visit and see the baby at my place. I did however go with him to his families side like his moms and grandparents just because it was only right. And the baby didn't do over nights until he was 1 yr. And went places w days only after I stopped breast fedding around 9/10 months . The courts chose the overnight trips when we went. Good luck
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Avatar universal
I totally agree. I'm not stopping him from coming and seeing her when she is born and feel that it would be much easier for him to come to us than uprooting a new born baby. I can just sense a huge argument about it. I never breast fed my first child and don't know what I plan on doing this time round but even so. Getting used to feeds and how much etc cause every baby is different after all. I just don't know what to do for the best :/
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Avatar universal
I waited at least 9 months with my youngest child. I had a very hard time leaving her with her dad. I was also breastfeeding feeding her as well. Good luck
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