another chick involved??

[ULHaukaas]

So I'm 30weeks and I'm not with the father of my son. We now live in different states and he wants to be involved now. So I was willing to try and work it out and give him a chance after we talked. But a few days later a lot of friends come to me saying some chick is going around telling people she is also pregnant by him. She is supposibly farther then I am. So I bring it up to him and he keeps avoiding the question. Then he says that he doesn't know if its his kid and it maybe true but he is not sure. So I jump to conclusion and blow up. Pissed off I tell him I can do this on my own and dont need him around and to lose my number. he never responded and few hours went by and I'm thinking the only reason I wanted him there anyway was so my son can have a father in his life. But I'd rather my son have no dad then a bad dad..I need help. Idk what to do or what to say to him after that blow up

[BearHunterMomma27]

Unless he has.proven he is a bad Influenece I dont see why you wouldnt want.him to try. Mg gf got engaged last yr and then got pregnant and married.  A few.months later they bought a house. Her son was born and she was so happy. A month later her husband got a piece.of.mail from another local court so she opened it. Surprise her hubby got some other girl pregnant who had her son a month before.my gf. He was a cop and supposedly a good guy. But nope. He is still a great dad and he has his sons a few nights a WK but she has no other contact with.him otherwise. So I think you should give him the chance to be a dad. You dont have to allow him to take your child overnight until you know for sure he can be trusted. IMO "most" men. cant be trusted

[callmemzc]

My situation was a little different. My ex didn't like the fact that I went housewife to working then pregnant in a matter of 6 months. And his attitude and demeanor is what mad emergency finally make him leave. But he tried showing up to my 12wk ultrasound.  With his girlfriend.  Haha it didn't go over very well and he never got to go in with me or see the ultrasound.  

But he is still with her. And has never tried contacting me. I could care less because when it becomes abusive, there's no reason to continue.  

When I told my parents, they said oh that just the means we don't have to share. Haha they support my sftm endeavor.  

[mitch_14]

He still deserves to be a father and your child still deserves to have his father. You don't have to even like each other to co-parent just figure out a way to make it work for the child. Hope everything works out

[Leemary20]

I had a similar issue. The father of my child is involved with another girl that has a child of her own, not his but the fact that he left me while i eas pregnant and decided to take care of one that's not even his?? But after a while he almost got her pregnant and my first response was.to flip out and exclude him all.together. she didnt end.up being pregnant but i still came to my senses and decided to chose.what's best.for.my.baby not myself so we have phone based conversations, he asks how the baby is when he wants, which isn't enough for me but in the end i know i did my part and let him be involved if he so chooses. Best thing for you is to focus on your pregnancy and choose what's best for the baby in the future much luck and God Bless.

[Amy1830]

I think I would have reacted the same way. And I agree with garlinmommy at the same time. If he really wants to be a good dad then your reaction and what you said that one time shouldn't prevent him from trying to talk to you again. People say things when they're upset and if be really loses your number and doesn't talk to you because you said that once in a heated moment then he probably isn't intending in putting much effort into being a father. I think he will attempt to speak to you again

[garlinmommy]

Just bc he's a ahole of a boyfriend doesn't mean he will be a bad dad. But it also doesn't meam he will be a good one. Its totally worth giving him a chance to try. Kids need dads. Yes you can do it on your own but one day it will affect them and you want to be able to say you gave him the chance to be a dad and he didn't. Or your child will have a great dad. I have two kids with someone who proved to be a bad dad he now has four children non of which he sees but I can look my kid in the eye and say I gave him every chance to do the right thing and he chose to walk away. Your child will respect you more in the end maybe not for 20 years but they will