bein induced tonight. mother in law issues

[vargobump]

So my mother in law (which I don't get along with) thought it was a good idea to take a whole week off work this week.  I go in tonight n im glad she wants to help but I do not want her at my house with my first newborn child with us. I want to have family time.  The baby isn't even goin to be a week old and she already wants to bombard us. Am I wrong for feeling like this?

[DeeTLJ1984]

Not wrong at all to feel this way but it's so nice to have help. Especially when it's the first week and you're going to be extremely exhausted. I would just use it to your advantage. Good luck and God bless you and your family!!! Congrats:-):-):-)

[kareng8]

What is it with mother in laws nowadays. Sheesh like where's the respect and space. Their sons are no longer a babies. My in laws are hoarders so that kind of makes me feel like I can't get close to them because I've never been allowed over to their house.

[vargobump]

My hubby is takin 2 weeks off n he is amazing help wit cooking n takin care of me. I appreciate her wanting to help but me him n her is our family.  N granted she's his mom but if I wanted help I would ask my mom.

[LeeshaMiranda]

I do agree that she should have ask though.

[LeeshaMiranda]

Since you are being induced, you could end up with a csection... It might be nice to have her there actually helping. Tell her what you need and put her to use! If you do end up with a csection or even just ripping during labor there is a possibility that you won't want to get up and do anything towards cooking or cleaning. I had 23 staples and believe me I was not moving more than I had to. And like others said, almost half the week you'll be in the hospital anyway. Just put her to work helping you out and maybe that'll help her feel needed and useful too.

[vargobump]

Thank u ladies. I will stand my ground.  I am sure I will like some help but I am sure im Goin to jus want to stare at her n hold her because shes my first baby n my mil wants to take her n im not k wit that!  She should have asked instead of assuming

[AprilBabe26]

Umm no. You are not wrong. It is completely YOUR decision. There's no way in hell my mil will be staying with us-there are definitely some issues with boundaries that she doesn't respect (like wanting to go with on our honeymoon for instance!) she would try to take over & it would not end well, really it would just be more stressful to have her around. She said she wanted to take 2 weeks off to help out & yes, im prepared for it to be difficult, but I'll ask for help if need be. I think it's rude & intrusive for anyone to just assume they'll be in your home during that special time. Stand your ground & although it would be easier to solve issues just so YOU don't have to stress as much, it's NOT always true that grandma's are automatically the best candidate to help. Don't feel bad-this is YOUR baby, not hers!

[rod3]

Im havin her there for the first week. She will help watch our first born, clean, laundry and cook so my hubby amd I can just worry about th e baby. If you did not want that then speak up...no body can read your mind. You can nicely tell her that it would be a big help to come next week. However she takes it is not ypur problem,  she is an adult. But you need to express your needs and wants

[RippedonScotch]

first couple nights you may still be in the hospital... you and your SO need to tell her together that you need the time and you will ask her for help when you need it.  Not to expect that she needs to be there from the beginning.   just talk to her

[b4b]

My mil did that with my first, I had my husband kick her out (nicely) after two days. She drove me crazy and completely rearranged my kitchen. It is a hard situation to be in, mine didn't ask me either.

[vargobump]

First couple nights I want to try this new baby thing. I am the mother n I want to have alone time wit her. Im fine wit her wanting to help but maybe would have rather her take the second week off so I can get alone time to try it but it bothers me that she expected me to jus to want her to come in 1st week without Askin

[Ely3]

Just take advantage of the help she can offer you. You might not get along with her but it's her grand baby so I'm pretty sure she would be the best candidate in helping. First nights with newborn could be pretty hard. By the way, you guys should solve any differences you have with each other for baby's sake.

[dorothy701]

No! I hated that with my first son. There were people in my house b4 we even got to bring him through the door and I just straight kicked them out and said next week they could come see baby and me. We needed rest and our own bonding time