what to do?

[thorarb]

So ive really really just had it with my oldest's father. We split up quite some time ago and the whole reason why I left in the first place was due to his drinking, smoking, partying and unwillingness to take care of his priorities first. It mattered more to him to play video games and hangout woth his dead beat friends. And he still is doing the same.

Now I have repeatedly asked for some "help" in getting things for my son. His response is always the same, of course ill send it to you on such and such. Well that date comes and he falls off the planet. I will not chase this man down over chump change that he should be spending willingly on his own. This kind of behavior has happened over and over. Now my son is almost 5yrs old and he has made blank promises to my son as well. Tells him im gonna send you or get you this and never does. My son asks me why hasnt dad got me this or where is it and now I have to explain to him.

Half the time I cannot reach this man by phone (he cant keep it paid up) and he flips out on me every single time I try to reach him via facebook (only way I can). Im really just done with this man altogether. My son doesnt even ask for him anymore and could care less if he calls or doesnt call. Now I have never kept my son from his bio dad, if he asks to call him or speak over skype, he is fully capable and even knows how to do it himself. He hasnt done this in a long time.

Im to the point I no longer answer or respond to his father. Period. I reject every single call (not many, he might call once a month if we're lucky). If he messages me on facebook, I dont respond. I know its mean but im not willing to waste my time nor energy on this man. Im not willingly to let him make empty promises to me or my son. Everytime he does my son cries that his dad didnt follow through.  

I have legal custody and he is required to pay court ordered child support, which he hasnt paid at all. We live thousands of miles apart in different states so he doesnt visit him either. My son has a half sister by this same man and now im understanding why her mom has cut this man pretty much out of their daughter's life (she is 10yrs old).

Am I wrong to cut him off? I see no point in continuing. Apparently getting drunk and high (constantly see it over fb through mutual friends and his own page) is more important than caring for his kid.

[thorarb]

I never ask him for much. Last time I asked him for some "help" was just to see if he would pitch in for the costs of putting my son thru a summer camp and for baseball. He makes it sound good and as if he is going to do something (I asked him to buy a $7 glove and a $10 bat!!) And then you never hear from him again, his phone is disconnected, yada yada. He called twice yesterday (amazing!) And I did not pick up. By time he called a 2nd time it was 930pm and sorry but my son is already in bed at that time. Im not waking him up.

[RedRose28]

I think your son and you deserve better. There is nothing worse then empty promises from your parents, I should know since mine did the same to me when I was young. It hurts to the core and can affect you son. I think you should just cut ties, no kid deserves a dead-beat of a parent. Good Luck!!!

[mamabear8911]

What a jerk...i don't blame you for cutting him off,  he's a loser and horrible father. You and your son deserve better...you should tell the court he's not paying child support,  they can take out of his pay check for you.  Don't let him get away with not helping out with his son

[Mummyanddaddy2323]

If got any problem can cal me 0133340381

[Ohh_Baby]

My daughter's father is like that, but I never asked him for help. All it did was make him feel superior to me bc I needed help. One thing I did was fight for wage garnishment.luckily in my state if they file income tax or win a jackpot they deduct whats owed for child support so after all of that fighting I may not get it on time, but I get backpay plus whats owed for the month in the end

[BritNyabuto]

Girl...I feel you!
I have a 6 and 4 year old by a man that is kind of like what you describe.
My children don't even call him dad...they call him by his full given name.
I do t even contact him any more...
I just let him call when he is ready to contact the kids...

[Cheskit]

Yeah I would just break ties asap. I ended up breaking ties from a few people in my past for the better good of my son.

[thorarb]

Lol he doesnt see it that way. When we still lived in the same area he would constantly try to start crap. One day my husband witnessed him trying to use my son as a pawn between us. He was pissed. Then of course that fool decided to disrespect me and my husband and well lets just say that ended up in my son's father having a broken nose. Lmao

[mommylece]

I wouldn't even apologize for that cuz honestly what it sounds like is that he pushed you away and pretty much forced you into another man's arms and sounds like a way better man's arms lol :)

[thorarb]

Im just over it. I have a wonderful husband now and we are expecting a baby in Sept. My son adores my husband. I really dont want his bio dad in his life at all. If he decides to seek out his dad when he is older that's on him. I wont stop him. But im tired of the empty promises, tired of being cussed out and treated like im worthless and a POS mother by this man. Seriously he blames me for everything. But let me point out all the crap he did and is doing and i aint $*** lol granted before I left his dad I did "cheat" on him with my current husband. He loves to bring that up constantly. Smdh ive apologized for doing that a long time ago but im not going to grovel at his darn feet, come running back or tolerate his immaturity.  

[mommylece]

Cut his POS @$$ out! I think you have every right to do so. Him choosing when it's convenient for him to call isn't cool. I agree with you and only a mama knows best for her child.

[ross1112]

I don't think you're wrong mama, I hate situations like that, always the kids are the one who paid for them being assholes, so yeah, if u don't want him in your son's life, good for u and for ur son